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been invited to wedding evening only and...

24

Comments

  • shellsuit
    shellsuit Posts: 24,749 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    No, don't ditch the present! Give them the present, and forget about the money!

    We're not asking for anything and we're not ungrateful, so we'd be happy with just their company, a fiver, or even a toaster lol! x
    Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...
  • nozzy6
    nozzy6 Posts: 190 Forumite
    Definitely still give them the present! I don't see the problem with putting it in the invite either - as another poster said I would find it helpful as I'd still want to give a gift so it saves me having to ask!

    We're asking for money rather than a giftlist but any individual presents would be lovely too - its just we already have a toaster ;)
  • dizziblonde
    dizziblonde Posts: 4,276 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Just give them the present - gawd how I hate the politics of wedding gifts - I've refused to have a list or request money, if people want to go down that road (I know most of oh's family will prob just give money) it's up to them but it's my wedding, it's not Xmas Eve and me writing my letter to Santa!
    Little miracle born April 2012, 33 weeks gestation and a little toughie!
  • Taadaa
    Taadaa Posts: 2,113 Forumite
    Hmm I am in a bit of a dilemma over this for evening guests. I think I might just write if you want to give us a gift, mum and MIL have cards for honeymoon list and be done with it. If they don't then I'm not fussed.

    I would give them the gift. But beware some couples might not be grateful for it. It depends on whether it is something they would want or would buy themselves. I never forget someone at my first wedding gave us a hand held hoover they clearly just got out of their cupboard at home. Such was the quality of the people my ex husband hung around with.

    Crikey just noticed it's snowing again!!
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  • I'd go with the present as it shows you put thought into it.
    "A mind needs books as a sword needs a whetstone, if it is to keep its edge." - Tyrion Lannister
    Married my best friend 1st November 2014
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  • Horace
    Horace Posts: 14,426 Forumite
    Definitely go with the present.

    Can remember when my cousin got married (although she didnt ask for money) she told everybody that her gift list was at M&S and she had itemised everything out by cost..now I don't like being told what to spend so I went and bought her some antique glass (a nice dish that she could use for nuts n stuff) that was made in 1850 on 5 September (she got married on 5 September), I spent what I wanted to spend:D

    Another cousin asked for comet vouchers when he got married so I gave him some high street vouchers as I had cashed in some survey points.
  • If you've purchased the present already I'd definately give it to them, you've obviously put alot of thought into it.

    I am asking for cash, I dont know how to word it however. We have everything in our humble abode we need, so were thinking of asking for a hand towards owning our home. At the end of the day it's the same as buying a toaster, just its a bit bigger and one person cant buy the whole thing.

    I hate it when I hear people getting offended because money has been asked for, I mean, why ask for something pointless that isnt needed. Wouldnt people rather they put whatever towards something useful?
  • Just give the gift. I tend to think gift lists or requests on invites are a bit rude and tacky although it seems to be the done thing these days.
    I hate it when I hear people getting offended because money has been asked for, I mean, why ask for something pointless that isnt needed. Wouldnt people rather they put whatever towards something useful?
    It offends me because guests shouldn't be made to feel obliged to have to give anything.

    If anyone actually comes out and says they want to buy us a present, then asks us what present we'd like we will tell them we'd love funds towards our double glazing/bathroom savings but if we're inviting people it's because we really want their presence- not their presents. (And frankly writing on an invite "we want your presence not presents though btw cash would be nice" sounds like a bit of an afterthought whatever twee little poem you use!.)
    Present yourself, press your clothes, comb your hair, clock in
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  • stenweb
    stenweb Posts: 23 Forumite
    Would it be more acceptable to ask for a contribution to the Honeymoon? This is what we are planning to do, because like most people we have most things we need (apart from a new house!), but the wedding budget doesn't quite cover the honeymoon :(
  • superfran_uk
    superfran_uk Posts: 1,118 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 500 Posts Combo Breaker
    Give them the present. There shouldn't be an attitude that guests (particularly evening ones!) have to get anything and to stipulate cash in an evening invite is just plain rude.

    I'm not asking for anything - if anyone asks we're saying that presents aren't important, as a last resort a donation to a honeymoon would be appreciated but there is no gift list, and we already have all the housey stuff we need.
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