What benefits, are we entitled to - if any?

Millie22 · 22 April 2010 at 10:13PM

Hi everyone,

It has been months since my last post and a lot has happened. I did try to log on some weeks ago but couldn't get in - forgot my password and couldn't make sense of the resetting password instructions (the twins are draining my brain cells). I am now on maternity leave and waiting to pop. I didn't want to be one of those posters who asks for advice and then disappears one they get it, so here's an update; I will try to keep it brief - not least because I can't use a computer comfortably anymore (my stomach and boobs are massive and just get in the way). The kids mum was sentenced last month and will be eligible for release in October 2015 - a long way off. The kids seem to be handling it okay. Once she was sentenced and we all knew where we stood, things seemed to settle down in the house.
OH has postponed his course until next year and he has changed his current working hours so that he gets home earlier each day. He has also secured a placement for pupillage when he completes his course in 2012, which brings a bursary of £6000 plus his course fees (another £6000).

We have applied for residence orders for the children, and expect these to be granted soon.

Sorting out financial help took a lot of effort and perseverance but we finally got through. Social Services admitted that they should have provided some financial support in respect of the five youngest children, the difficult part was deciding how much. Foster parents in our borough receive approximately £260 per week per child, which is made up of a MA - maintenance allowance (i.e. the actual cost of food, clothes, pocket money etc), plus a care allowance (payment for providing care for the child). They also receive additional payments for christmas, birthdays and annual holidays, child benefit and help with things like school uniforms.

TBH I was very surprised by the amount of money involved, I assumed that foster carers received much less than this. The difficulty with kinship care is that there is no fixed amount and no guarantee that you will receive anything. After several meetings and lots of letter writing, SS finally agreed to pay us the MA element of the foster carers payment, which is £124 per week per child for the 11-16 year olds and £108 for the 9 year old. We won't get the care element, the extra payments for birthdays/christmas, and we will no longer receive child benefit for those children. They did say that we had the right of appeal (and clearly they will be paying us a lot less than they would have paid to foster carers in the same situation - less than 50%), however we are not going to appeal. This was never about squeezing SS for every penny that we could get, we just wanted to be able to provide the children with a reasonably comfortable life and TBH the amount that we will be receiving is far more than we expected. It is sufficient to meet their needs (I think) and now that it has been sorted out we can just concentrate on being a family and supporting the kids. So on the whole we are satisfied. They are also backdating the payment to November - the date that they first erroneously told us that we were not eligible for assistance.

We sat down and worked out a budget (using lots of the tips on the old fashioned money saving boards), mainly because we need to make sure that the childrens money is spent on them and doesn't get sucked into our bills and expenses, except where it relates specifically to them (e.g. to pay for extra food, hot water, etc). The kids prefer packed lunches which saves a fortune (they had to have school dinners when they lived with their mum as she was entitled to claim free school meals) and OH and I have completely changed our shopping habits. I'm embarassed about some of the wasteful costly habits that I once had, such as the amount of food that I routinely threw away. We are also able to save on behalf of the children, so that they will have something to fall back on when they are older.

We do have a home help that my siblings paid for, and she is an absolute Godsend. She comes three days a week - cleans, shops and irons. The house looks less like a building site and hopefully the work will be completed some time in June. Our family's also continue to be very supportive.

When the children came to us, we bought new beds for them but not much else. They are looking forward to choosing the furniture, decorations and bedding for their new rooms once the work is done. We have two reception rooms and a large eat-in kitchen but the kids still seem to trip over each other. So we have also just bought a secondhand summer house (it looks like a very large shed) as a sort of 'teenage hang-out' for the garden. It will have electricity (heat, lights and plug points) and once kitted out, should provide some useful extra space for the kids. They are still deciding what should go in it - suggestions include snooker table, gym equipment, toys and games room.

Anyway, I am going to end here. I am shattered and the twins are sleeping (they have stopped kicking anyway), which is my cue to try to get some sleep. I will keep updating from time to time (assuming I can find the time). I do dip into MSE regularly for more moneysaving tips - so even if I don't post you can be assured that I am still here.

Thank you to everyone who posted before, it was really great to hear from so many people. Sulkisu - we have pm'd and you have been unbelievably helpful, a real angel. Thank you.

It is hard to believe that this time last year, I had finally come to terms with the fact that I would never have kids and would never be a mum and now look at me :j.