What benefits, are we entitled to - if any?

Millie22

My sister recommended this site and I really hope someone can help. I am trying to find out what benefits I might be able to claim.

It's a long story but I'll try to be brief. I am 43, my husband is 39. We have been together for 9 years and I am currently 5 months pregnant with twins. I have no other children but OH has two from a previous relationship - aged 19 and 16. We both work, and always have done. We have a healthyy income, I earn £65k and OH £30k. However OH has always wanted to be a barrister and has almost completed his law degree - studying part-time while working full-time. He has a place at Bar school starting this September and will study full-time. We agreed that I would pay the bills and support the household while he did this. I have a generous maternity package from my employer and will receive 12 months on full pay. Basically we had everything worked out.

So, now to the problem. After OH and his ex-partner (the mother of his 2 children) split 16 years ago, she went on to have five more children, by four different fathers - 15, 14, 12, 11 and 9. OH has always paid child support for his kids and has also provided for the other children occasionally. None of their fathers pay a penny in child support and only one has regular contact with his child. Anyway, a few months ago we had a phone call at 5.00 a.m from customs at Gatwick. His ex had been arrested re-entering the UK with a large quantity of heroine inside her. We didn't even know she had left the country - she went away for a week, leaving the children with her sister. She is currently being held on remand and faces a long custodial sentence. At this point, her family decided that that didn't want to know and the sperm donors that fathered her children also washed their hands of the situation. OH children came to stay with us temporarily, but with no family members willing to take the others in they all went into foster care. This lasted for two weeks, by which time having seen the devastating impact that this was having on all the children (mother in prison and then separated from siblings, plus the brutal realisation that their own families didn't give a toss about them) we offered to take them in.

Once it is all finalised, we will be a family of 9 with 2 more on the way. Our house is too small (4 beds) but we have just remortgaged and work on a three bedroom extension will start soon. In Setpember OH stops work, so we will have one income. We do have savings of roughly £50k. Social services say that we do not qualify for foster care payments as we are not registered as foster parents and have volunteered to take the children in. Apart from child benefit, does anybody know if we are likely to qualify for any other help? We are chasing the biological fathers for support, but not holding my breath. I know that 65k is a good salary, and I am not complaining. We might be able to manage perfectly well, although we are already starting to feel the pinch - £60 p.w for school dinners etc. I would just like some idea of what help might be available.

Edit: All of the children are in full-time education but 19 y.o stepson works part-time.

ERICS_MUM

Wow! I can't offer you any info on benefits etc but do admire and congratulate you both for taking these poor children into your family. Sounds like this could be the start of a truely happy time in their young lives.

Could the local authority register you as foster parents, on a fast-track basis ? They must be laughing all the way to the bank - not only are they saving a bundle of paying in-care costs for the children but they are more assured that they will be happy and safe with you. Another case file closed. It really annoys me.

Linda xx

PS best wishes for the birth of your twins and OH's budding new career - you don't do things by half, do you !!

seven-day-weekend

Can't offer advice as I'm not up on Benenfits for children (although maybe you could try tax credits?), but just want to say what a wonderful thing you and your husnband are doing. Wishing you all well (and your twins) and God bless you all.

I'm sure people will be along soon who can help more. xx

karenx

you won't be entitled to ant financial help due to your income. You will get child benefit though. Have you applied for child benefit for the other children?

lucinad

wow i admire your generousity and sensitivity, what a really nice things to do. how long does it take to get registered as foster carers? is it not possible to do this while they are there?
it is a pity that there isnt a social worker or such like on here to come and offer you some advice. i really hope you get it sorted tho and best of luck for when your twins arrive

Prudent

You are a very generous and kind person. I do think you should pursue you local authority. In my OH's family one of the children is fostered to another family member. The lady doing the fostering gets £198 per week kinship fostering allowance. The council pays this amount per child. She also gets child benefit (not means tested) and tax credit (menas tested). My biggest concern for you is the huge workload, the time that you will desperately want to give you own twins & the massive change of lifestyle. I have nothing but admiration for you.

aeb_2

I wish you lots of luck with your new family and the twins. Life will be hectic!

I found myself a single mum with 6 children under 6 after my husband died suddenly a couple of weeks after moving to our 'dream' (derelict) house in the middle of nowhere and when I was pregnant with triplets (he never knew that). I don't think you will find any benefits. I live on my husbands pension which takes me just over the limit for every benefit I've looked at.

I don't excpect anything as my 6 are all my children but you should have all the help you need - you are both wonderful!

Keep chasing the CSA or try asking at the CAB

Limana68

Wow just wanted to say you should be very proud of yourselves for giving these kids a good home when you could have easily have left them in care , shame on all their 'relatives' and I really hope their mum realises how lucky she is to have you.

Keep on at the Social Services- they should be giving you financial help, and support!
Good luck with it and the new babies and remember to look after YOU.

Li

daska

Wow! I think you're income will probably take you over the limit for benefits but what I would say is "don't assume". Morally I think SS should be providing some assistance, because even if the kids are older, 9 kids is a huge workload for someone with twins.

However, I think you may well need some practical help and advice on accessing whatever is available to help you, not least because this is a huge change for all the children and yourselves. I would suggest starting with HomeStart if there's one in your area. SureStart may also be able to help. Parentline plus are also very good. (You've not mentioned any special educational needs or disabilities but there are very helpful organisations available to you for these as well if needed.) You could also try your local CAB for advice on any funding that might be available.

What a star you are!

pookienoodle

First of all Millie well done to you and your husband for stepping up to look after the kiddies.
If you do a google search on Kinship care you should find some useful information.
you are entitled to help but the local authority will probably make you fight for it.
You are saving the local authority £1000s so don't feel bad about making sure you get what you are entitled to.
good luck and keep us updated.

Millie22

Thank you all so much for your kind words and for taking the time to reply. These past few months have been hard work but OH and I just feel lucky to find ourselves in this position. Having spent 6 years trying for a baby, including 5 failed attempts at IVF, we had all but given up on the idea of having a family. Shortly before my 43rd birthday, I discovered that we had conceived naturally and 6 weeks after that, we found out that we were expecting twins. So even when I am tired, I am eternally grateful.

As for the children, they have not had a great start in life, but despite that they are actually really good kids and just deserve a break. I believe that everything happens fo a reason and being childless for so many years allowed me to focus on my career, which in turn has provided us with the financial stability to be able to offer the children a home. We have claimed child benefit for the children and a solicitor friend is pursuing the absent fathers for maintenance.
Although the childrens' 'families' have been next to useless, my own family and OH's have been brilliant. My sister (who has three children of her own) has all of ours staying with her this weekend - so that I can rest. My brothers and sisters have clubbed together to pay for a part-time home help to come in 15 hours each week, starting next month to help out with household chores like shopping, ironing, cleaning etc? OH has 8 brothers and SILs, who also help us more than we could ever have expected. The children all do their bit around the house, which I feel is important but at the same time, I don't want them to feel that they have to 'earn their right' to stay with us. My neighbour (a builder) is doing the house extension almost free of charge. We only have to pay for materials and VAT. He grew up in care and had a miserable time. We keep offering to pay something towards the work, but he won't hear of it. I only work four days a week and two of those are worked from home, which really helps.

I will definitely look into HomeStart and SureStart to see what help and support they can offer. Financially, we will manage on my salary if we have to. I know that other families survive on far less and with little or no family support. I worked out our budget and even on my salary alone, the figures just about stack up. We have had quite a big outlay to start with as the children came to us with next to nothing - her family members helped themselves to everything in their former home - tv, furniture, bedding, the lot. They even took some of the childrens' clothes for their own kids). OH has said that he will defer his course for a year or two if need be, but I see that as a last resort.

We have SS asked about becoming foster parents. Ironically we were told that we won't qualify. As OH has custody of his two children, plus the fact that we are expecting twins, means that we already have a full quota (by SS standards) and would not be cleared to foster five additional children. The fact that there will be new born twins in the house, also makes us unsuitable foster parents - I guess there is some logic in there somewhere. I don't want to rock the boat too much, in case somebody in authority decides that we have too many children in the house and tries to remove some or all of them. We have been told that this is unlikely to happen, but we can't take the risk.

Once again, many thanks to those of you who have taken time out to respond. I really do appreciate it - so thank you.

Edit: I had never heard of kinship care, but will definitely look into it. After everything that the children have been through, I just want to build up as much security as possible.