Letter to my MIL (more a rant!)

pigpen

If you send that she will know her horrible behaviour is getting you down and she will be 10 times worse.. Rise above it, be the adult and let her behave like a spoiled child.. You almost have 2 beautiful children and she has her own venom.. Just don't visit her.. if she wants to see the children OH can take them or she can come to you.

*Louise*

Do you need her?


No??



Then let it go.



Seriously - who cares what she thinks. Through her own pig-headedness she is well on the way to losing her son and her grandchildren. Stay back, don't get involved and no one can ever blame you.

I don't understand mothers sometimes. I have sworn that if either of my two boys bring home a woman I don't like, I will do my damndest not to show it and try and get on with her.

savingmummy

When i was a teenager i used to write letters in anger then destroy them - it helps!!

Nitha

I'm glad you didn't send it, sometimes it's good just to write things down. My FIL has nothing to do with us (except to show off his money) but I just try to ignore it and 'keep calm and carry on'

All the best with the future addition to the family.

jack*tigger

As the saying goes ... you can choose your friends but not your family. So get some good ones and just forget about your MIL.

Maybe Bernard Manning was right about MIL's !!!

youluckypanda

Well done on NOT sending it! I know how tempting it must have been to just post it in anger but like you say - another can of worms. From the sounds of it, she is the one that is losing out the most. By not having a proper bond or relationship with your little one. Its really sad that some people can be like this, especially to family but as jack*tigger said you can't choose your family, (and don't I know it!) Perhaps their are other mum's near you, you could meet up with, in terms of getting some support and just having some tea with? Its tough but you are better off not to have negative people around you, they are only going to sap your mental energy. Best to just let her stew in the mess she has made I say, you, your child and the bun on the way don't need someone like her around.

Memory_Girl

You know the saying "you can choose your friends - but not your family".

Well if it were me (not that that counts for anything) - I would choose for her not to be your kids granny - but look around on your street for some sweet ol dear who would love to be involved. Could have had hundreds of them when walking the bb around in his handknits -he just seemed to attract them.

My "Grannie" is now my Mums best friend - despite the 20 odd year age gap. They meet ever week for lunch and she is counting the days until DS the second is weaned and he can accompany her to the Chinese Buffet every Thursday (just as she did with my eldest) In fact they got up to all sorts of glorious adventures when he was younger and not in school.

She comes for a "Special Xmas Dinner" every Xmas Eve (spends the day with her own grandkids) and I bless her every time we meet because she is an amazing lady.

Seems like the young ole dear downstairs (in her 60's but acts 16) has taken us all under her wing now we have moved in. A wealth of OS knowledge and today I am making her "frozen in the summer" berries into some new pots of jam for us all. Her DH is helping me create a garden this year for DS to grow veggies in. Now they are the role models I want for my kids - not the ones in the family I happened to be born into.

PS Ioften take my letters out into the garden and set fire to them - otherwise I feel them festering in my bin (mmmm!! Maybe I'd be better not admitting that to anyone - LOL)

Memorygirl

boredandundecided

Well done for not sending but I hope you feel better for writing it. I went through the same thing this time last year and I was in bits, although my letter was about 6 pages and I made OH read it so he knew what was going on in my head. It's up to you to rise above it, be the better person, as hard as it is, forget about her, your kids don't need her as much as it is nice to have doting grandparents it's obvious she's not one of those. You are definately the better person here and you do what you need to do to make your children happy. Smile and forget about her, enjoy your little one and your new arrival and you have your supportive friends and other family. You don't need her....
xxxx

misgrace

*Louise* wrote: »

Do you need her?

I don't understand mothers sometimes. I have sworn that if either of my two boys bring home a woman I don't like, I will do my damndest not to show it and try and get on with her.

Its easier said than done I'm afraid.:(

I'm a MIL to a DIL who I do not get on with, but I have my reasons, unlike Pokeys MIL who has no reasons, except perhaps jealousy, Pokey is better off out of it with a MIL like that, the MIL can do more damage than good.

We all want our children to settle with nice partners, and sometimes they choose partners who you would never have thought they would have picked, in my case my DIL, and yet my daughter has picked the most loveliest of man, been with him 10 years or so, married, and one of the best husbands and fathers I have ever encountered.
So one out of two isnt bad.:D

red_devil

letters have been sent in our family over the years. I have come to the conclusion they are a waste of time because people will always have an answer for everything you say!