How do you manage the finances in your relationship?

Almo

My OH and I share everything. We emigrated together nearly 3 years ago and I am his sponsor in our new country (in which I hold full residency). Legally, I am financially responsible for him until his residency comes through . We have had periods where he was out of work, and periods where he was earning a great deal more than me but it all works out in the end - I worked 16 hour days to keep us going when he was out of work.

I deal with the finances but we both have full and equal access to all our accounts. We each have debts that are pre-relationship, but they have become 'our' debts, to be tackled together. We are each free to spend whatever we like from the joint account, provided it won't leave us short for bills etc. Courtesy dictates that we consult each other first. This is not in the slightest bit limiting for us and tbh I don't understand some of the comments about not being allowed to buy stuff from joint accounts - that's not a relationship, it's a dictatorship (provided of course the money is available).

In answer to the OP, we own a house together (well, the bank owns most of it) but our finances were the same when we were renting.

I agree with nearlyrich - whatever works for you both, go for it.

sazza42

Everyone is different & as long as it works for you, it's the right way to do it.

My parents have always kept all their money totally separate, but they are both very generous and will help each other out whenever needed. They both pay for different things and don't split any bills at all.

When I moved in with my partner, my mum was really worried as we set up a joint bank account for the bills and mortgage - it was a step too far for her!! My partner wanted us to put all our money into a joint account and take out spending money for ourselves - that was a step too far for me!!

We split everything half and half, although at the moment I am earning far more than he is. However, last year, he was earning far more than I was, so it will all even out in the end. This works for us, but wouldn't for others - we're all different people living in different circumstances.

lola34

My wages go into our current account along with FA/ FC and this pays all the bills, OH wages goes into current account in his name but I hold the card and use this to pay for food and anything else, we both get £50 each 'spending money' though OH uses his towards petrol and I use it towards childrens dinner money etc, we've always done this even when I wasn't working - though when we started out is was £10 each a week and has gone up over the past 14 years

Susan_Frost

We have the same arrangement as OP. However, it is our second marrige, 20 yrs, the kids belong to each other, no kids together and everything is equally joint paid for and owned.

However, hubby earns lots more than me so, if he wants an expensive holiday, I pay what we feel a "reasonable" holiday costs, and he tops up the difference.

He has a more expensive car than me, etc. but that's his choice, his money.

We dont have any problems with it all.

If something dire happened with either of us, the other would definitely come to the rescue. But as we are both good with money, there is lots of trust, no debts, kids grown.

Each to his own, but as circumstances change (kids come along, etc.) things have to be reviewed.

kindofagilr

I earn £100 less a month than OH (we arent married, we are engaged)

We bought our house in April, and have a joint account, both our pays go into the joint account, all the bills come out of there, we have joint savings etc.

We share everything.

gorgeous_gwen

My partner works and I'm a stay at home mother. I look after the 'books':D and sort out all the bills, shopping. We each get money paid into our own accounts, his his wages and me the child benefit and other child-related money.

We both pay out on different bills, but it's about even proportionate to the amount we each have coming in. Anything left over after everything is accounted for is our own pocket money.

We have other separate savings accounts which we deal with independently but are often used for joint purposes, ie if we're saving up for something, we'll both stash money away in our own accounts then pool it when we have enough. We don't have any joint accounts but we both know what's going on with the money so to speak!

charlea

my other half and i have two homes - we both had our places before we got together and decided that as he had no mortgage on his place we woudl keep it and he only stays there when he has his two boys ( everyother weekend) and we live in my house (which is still in my name)
sounds strange but it works for us his kids didnt have the upheaval of sharing rooms with my son and we didnt have to go through the headache of moving house and my oh keep his garden shed as i call it

with regards to money as i earn a hell of a lot more than my husband i pay for my mortgage and the bill at my house ( i would have had to have paid then anyway married or not is the way that i see it so dont mind)
he pays for the bills at his flat and service charges ect

I pay for the family holidays and my car and general up keep of my house
he give me 60 a week toward food ect ( which i save anyway and normally put it towards something that he might want later on or for the kids) he pays for his car

We have seperate bank accounts ,credit cards his money his is mine is mine we dont really share anything as such he isnt bad with money and dosnt have any debt and neither do i or nothing worth getting stressed about


If something breaks in my house then i normally replace it and he will normally give a small amount toward it but it depends on what it is ie a washing machine /cooker he will contribute toward but when i wanted to put in a new kitchen and new bathroom he didnt pay anything towards it which was fair enough as he would not have been able to afford to have done so

It probably seems like a really weird set up but we have been married 10 years so it works for us
sometime i will admit though to getting frustrated with him cos he is very laid back about stuff and im not but cant have it all

oh yeah he dose alll the cooking cos i cant cook

mouche

My husband and I have our individual current accounts and a joint account. We get paid into our current accounts. I've worked out how much we need to pay the rent, council tax, bills, groceries, holidays etc and we (as finance head of the family!) transfer this money into the joint account taking proportionally from our current accounts. That is, since I earn 60% of our income, I contribute 60% of the joint account money. If there's anything left in the joint account at the end of the month, it goes into a fund for my parents in law, who sometimes need help which is gladly given. (Much easier not to resent it if it's been planned for!)

We also have a monthly savings amount and the contributions for that is also proportional. This is money earmarkedfor a deposit on a house.

Whatever is left in our current accounts is for us to spend as we like. I tend to spend less and also have a bit more left, so I put some of it away for things like gifts for him and contingency money.

Asfor what will happen when we have kids...we've had a taster of it already when he was made redundant recently and we had to manage on my salary. The logic then was that I made 100% of the money so I paid 100% of the bills. We then worked out our bare minimum personal costs (mobile bill, travel cards) and after covering my own costs, I paid as much as I could into his account to cover his. I couldn't cover all of it so the shortfall had to come from both our savings. But we both pulled together to cut back our lifestyle so that we used as little of the savings as possible.

When we have children, we will continue contributing proportionally until I stop getting maternity pay. At that point he will earn 100% and contribute 100% until I go back to work at which point childcare will go into the joint expenses category and we'll continue to contribute proportionally.

Buttonmoons

I stay at home to look after DD. OH works.

We both have seperate accounts but that's just lazyness on our part to make me joint on his bank, his bank card pretty much lives in my purse.

I make sure all the bills are paid, food is bought in, etc He just tells me what he wants or needs and I'll pick it up for him when I'm out.

Works for us and he doesn't see it as "his" money, it's "ours".

busiscoming2

We have a joint account in which oh's earnings go into. I have my own current acount which my very small earnings go into. Some bills come out of my account but the bulk of everyday living including mortgage come out of the joint account. I also 'manage' all the savings as I am a non taxpayer.
There is no way I could ask any man for housekeeping and can't believe some women have to in this day and age!!
I am completely in charge of the banking - the closest he gets is paying the odd cheque in and taking money out the ATM! We both like it that way and its worked for the past 16 years.