Reformed shopaholic? please can you give me the benefit of your advice

NGlady

CL - Deffinatly, as I said to my mum (shes scared of confrontation) even if they say no, I politely say thankyou anyway, sorry to bother you and leave the store. Nothing ventured nothing gained in this life Also got some primark sandals to return as theyve changed style on the straps and i dont like them anymore. And im going to try my luck in bodyshop at returning a conceller I ordered, still in paper but it isnt right for me, also going to try and return a hairbrush I brought from them a couple of weeks ago.

He does sound lovely. Wont pretend hes my normal "type" looks wise, but he is such a sweet funny guy, i think I could cope with somebody not being my normal looks wise.

Something else I think is lovely. He offered to meet me in Leeds (he thought this was half way, but turns out how trains fall its 10 mins less traveling) and put me up in an hotel overnight with no strings and not having to share etc :O

CompletelyLost

Looks aren't everything I don't think so anyway... but then everyone says I have weird taste (right now I have a massive crush on Graeme from Corrie, lol).

Anyway if it doesn't work out, can I have him? He sounds like a gent.

Souk08

MMm, surely it's best to meet first before you start making too many plans honey, don't know about you but a LOT of the guys I meet online I just don't fancy in person so that's the end of it!

verynewmoneysaver

Hope you have a great time NGlady. I've decided to put the money from things I return, and things I want to buy but don't, into a separate online savings account, and maybe that will encourage me to cut down the spending.

Mags30

@NGlady Oh my God!! You've never even met him and he's buying you a handbag from Harvey Nicks!! It does sound too good to be true. Hope you have a fab time. Looking forward to hearing how it goes.

Everybody on here seems to be returning things all the time. Do people have no intention of keeping the items when they buy them? Just curious because I don't return things much.

Souk08

Mags I'm with you. I never return things. I have to be really sure before I buy them in the 1st place. X

debtfreeforever_2

Hi everyone,

This is my first post...I've browsed the forums for almost a year, learning so much but this thread finally compelled me to register and post!

I've come a long way towards complete recovery from my shopping addiction but I still have a little debt left and still fall off the wagon during times of stress or feeling low. This thread will be really useful for me over the coming months - this is my last final push towards being debt free forever (I'm aiming for Oct 2010).

Here's what I've learnt from my experience (you've probably heard it all before but I'll list it anyway in case it helps even one person!):

1. Keep a spreadsheet & enter everything you spend - this REALLY helps control your urges. Highlight NSDs & aim for as many as possible.
   
2. After 2-3 months of this you'll be able to spot trends (triggers to spending and problem areas) - now you can set realistic budgets and give yourself an allowance. I give myself a cash allowance for food (a real problem area for me) and when I'm debt free I will do the same for clothes but currently I am not spending ANY money on clothes until the autumn/winter season.
   
3. Make a list of what you NEED and try so hard to stay focused at the supermarket - magazines and junk food are my weakness and these indulgences really add up.
   
4. It's helpful to keep a list like this so that when you do have a strong urge to spend then at least you can spend it on things you need rather than random crap.
   
5. Get organised - declutter your house completely so you can SEE what you actually already own. I've fallen into the trap many times of thinking I need a gold bangle from Primark when I already have 4! Now that I'm organised those types of urges have lessened.
6. I talk to myself before every purchase. It helps me to question 'will anyone else care or even notice if I wear this brand new clutch tonight and will their opinion of me be any different than if I just use one of those I already have?' Every single time the answer is NO. I have shopped, like many women, believing I will be more attractive to other people and gain approval. The truth is most people don't notice/care that much! So long as you have a reasonable wardrobe, it's far more important to keep your hair in good condition, have good skincare and keep your body healthy & fit so the clothes you have sit well - none of this costs much it just takes a bit of time and effort.
   
7. Unsubsribe from all website's mailing lists. When you want to buy something (i.e. you NEED it) you will find a code here or at hotukdeals.com so put it out your head that you will 'miss out'. These emails are a major temptation to spend!
   
8. It sounds simple, but just don't look - stay away from the shops as much as possible and find other fun things to look at online. Buying magazines is guaranteed to tempt you to shop so avoid them.
9. Find things to satisfy your desires for free - when I stopped splurging on clothes I transferred my spending to books & DVDs (much cheaper but still an unhealthy spending habit). Now I use my local library (I'm lucky to live near a city and have a very well stocked library) and get to take home new stuff whenever I like for FREE! Try it.
   
10. We shop (and binge eat) often (not always - some people just like stuff!) to fill a void in our lives - you need to think about what that void is and work on it. Until you do you'll forever have this problem. My voids/triggers are - sometimes loneliness (I'm single), boredom, media pressure, disatisfaction with my body (even though I'm a size 8, go figure?!) - to address the boredom & loneliness I go to the gym 3-4 times weekly (this has also helped tremendously with my body image), and have a cinema pass to go unlimited times with friends for only £13.50 per month. I don't buy magazines (and refuse to watch TV adverts) to avoid the media pressure. Remember, when we shop addictively and binge eat we only hurt ourselves.

Sorry so long! I hope it wasn't a pointless ramble!

I think this is a wonderful support thread and I'm looking forward to dropping in regularly. If I think of anything else I'll be sure to post.

NGlady

CL - You have gone down in my estimations honey, Greame?! really?! Then again, I have a Crush on Steve McDonald lol.
I know, not going to even think about the handbag, if he decides he wants to then I shall let him but otherwise im going to just let it go in passing


Ok time for my weekly review.

Today went to Chesterfield. Brought a next hoodie and 3 dorothy perkins t-shirts for a tenner. Took some sandals back, brought 3 bras contributed a £4 which is something drastically needed lol. Brought a little lunch box for tomorrow for my breckfast Took two items back (concelater and a brush that scared me lol) to Bodyshop, contributed £4 but got a lovely cherry bodybutter, a little coconut set, and a vit C wash they wouldnt take the jackets back, will try another store next week lol.
Total spends today £27.76 but I did get a fair amount really and they were things I did need :O

This weeks total spends £88.08 - which whilst isnt ideal is about £50 less than last week Only brought one magazine this w.e
Next week - well i think its going to be relatively high next week as going to have some expences tomorrow, but aiming for £70 One magazine try and minimise my eating out
Baby steps

CompletelyLost

NGlady wrote: »

CL - You have gone down in my estimations honey, Greame?! really?! Then again, I have a Crush on Steve McDonald lol.
I know, not going to even think about the handbag, if he decides he wants to then I shall let him but otherwise im going to just let it go in passing


Ok time for my weekly review.

Today went to Chesterfield. Brought a next hoodie and 3 dorothy perkins t-shirts for a tenner. Took some sandals back, brought 3 bras contributed a £4 which is something drastically needed lol. Brought a little lunch box for tomorrow for my breckfast Took two items back (concelater and a brush that scared me lol) to Bodyshop, contributed £4 but got a lovely cherry bodybutter, a little coconut set, and a vit C wash they wouldnt take the jackets back, will try another store next week lol.
Total spends today £27.76 but I did get a fair amount really and they were things I did need :O

This weeks total spends £88.08 - which whilst isnt ideal is about £50 less than last week Only brought one magazine this w.e
Next week - well i think its going to be relatively high next week as going to have some expences tomorrow, but aiming for £70 One magazine try and minimise my eating out
Baby steps

I'm not joking I think he's lovely... I'm also quite in love with Louis Theroux, but I think that crush is slighty more acceptable. I don't think I've ever fancied anyone stereotypically good-looking.

That's a shame about the jackets. Sounds like you got a lot for your money anyway and most of it was necessities. I'm surprised they let you take the concealer back though, I didn't think you would be able to return cosmetics.

NGlady

They didnt really bat an eyelid to be honest i think it was because it was still in its plastic coating wrap though so it wouldnt have been possible to get into it.