Reach for the stars...

Butti

niccatw wrote: »

Sat in the library today and wrote threee pages of A4 - for the meeting I have with my boss tomorrow where I plan on telling her if the situation with my supervisor doesn't change, I will endeavour to change my situation. I don't know if that's a tad too far, but trying to sort out what Ineeded to say was a nightmare, there are so many strands to it! Ultimately, I need her to know that occy health and use of the capability policy are unecessary. It's stress that I can specifically pinpoint and it's her job to do something about it. And if not, it probably is a union issue? (I wouldn't go down that route at all but it might be worth pointing that out rather than threatening to quit! My VSO plans are well under wraps at work! Obviously.)

It's not a tad too far. She's micro-managing you. We've established that. It's causing you stress, undoubtedly its also causing others stress and a change in her behaviour would reduce stress to all. In highlighting this to management you are ensuring they now have a duty of care to you and others in dealing with this.

I would also agree with Cherisong that your supervisor may be stressed. Her solution is at present to pass that on to you but bringing everything out may also mean they can deal with that too.

B

MrsMoo2U

I agree with Butti. It reminded me of a time when I got a new supervisor who started micro managing me (even following me to the loo when I had to go). I had been doing the job for many years and I was good at it. In next to no time I was having panic attacks and could not work out what was wrong with me. I finally broke down in tears one evening when my boss asked me if I was ok. It all came out and we ended up having a facilitated meeting. Her reasons, she was new to line management and thought that was what she needed to do to show she was managing the team. We are now very good friends and she is a really good manager.

niccatw

Cheers guys. I've no doubt my supervisor is stressed. She's also in denial about it. And I have real concerns about her decision-making in some cases at the moment. The irony of which is not lost on me! So that definitely needs to go to my boss.

But I need to be braver. I need to stop being so nice and making excuses for her because we have been here before. We have had the facilitated meeting. It works for a while and she goes back to her own agenda. I've no doubt it's been worse because she has been stressed. And I am generally very measured and professional when talking about it because I also think she does it to hide her own insecurities. But it's no longer just me who is seeing it, other colleagues are telling me they come to me because she's "a bit weird". And I'm finding it harder to keep quiet when colleagues ask me questions about decisions taken. There's a fine line between giving advice and stamping on another person's clinical decision making toes and I don't want to be the one stepping over it. Having had her stamp on my toes many times, I know how much it hurts. And I'm now seeing what a huge impact it had on my confidence and self esteem. And I know how confidence and self esteem link to depression. And that's not a road I will willingly go down again.

I actually think my boss might need to see an angry Nicca, an I'll be d*mmed if I'm going to sit here and watch as you don't deal with it Nicca. A Nicca that makes that link explicit to my boss.

I am also aware that my boss is hugely stressed. Cue the phone call that started the VSO ball rolling! Essentially, if she wants me to go to occy health, we all need to go! The entire NHS! And occy health don't have the numbers to deal with that! :eek: There's bound to be a stress management policy that's more appropriate! For our entire department!

I can see a difference in me this week, 4 days off and no supervisor for 4 weeks works wonders for stress reduction! As does working, laughing and joking with a parent who hated services 18 months ago and would not look any professional in the eye. Said parent actually asked for help, said as a family they'd been reacting all their lives and they'd like my help to become proactive. I could have cried. They are the reason I love my job.

The red tape and politik are just that, but I don't need it from my own colleagues and it has to stop.

MatyMoo

We will be missing you too Nic But glasses will be raised

Good luck meeting the boss, sounds like you have given what you want to say a lot of consideration which means that you will be able to out it across in a firm but serious way. In my experience this gets listened to and acted on far more than a knee jerk rant. Hope it goes well and they are able to make changes for you that will improve things for the whole team.

niccatw

Thanks Maty. We didn't get to meet. My boss had forgotten to put it in her diary, which, to be fair, is hugely unlike her. So it's now Monday morning though I suspect she'll pop in tomorrow if she gets the chance. (We are based at opposite ends of the city and cover areas even further apart from each other so chance meetings aren't a great idea!) However, it's given me the chance to download the stress at work policy and see what it says.

Cheri, forgot to say thanks for the cvs link. We have definitely got one paying delegate now . Here's hoping it's the start of the deluge!

Right, need to sort out banking stuff... I'll be back.

MrsMoo2U

Great news on the paying delegate. Hope more follow.

Butti

MatyMoo wrote: »

We will be missing you too Nic But glasses will be raised

.

Yes, yes, this is all very well but who's going to make the tea?:rotfl:

B

niccatw

Butti, I nominate you to be on tea making duties in my absence!

niccatw

Isn't it scary just how quickly you can set yourself up with a new credit card! My barclaycard appeared today, it's been activated, the balance transfer has gone through no problem and the direct debit is currently set to an amount that means it will be gone within the 2 year 0% deal.

I have £300 of the amount on my Virgin credit card, mostly because I didn't think for a second that they'd give me a £2k card... but they did and more! :eek: I never use the Virgin card (ecept for emergencies) so I plan to pay off the £300 with my next second job pay as the APR will be something silly. It also means I will have paid off £300 of my IPL treatment quickly!

It'll mean less payment to RBS this month, but I'm confident it won't knock the debt repayments too much. My aim was to overpay RBS by £250 a month... this might be a bit tight, but I reckon £200 will still be doable.

I know I've done my sums and I know I can't wait to stop with the waxing, but I still have a bit of a jittery stomach about it!

I'm taking this as a good sign for my MSE journey! It means I'm thinking through spending before just applying for cards willy-nilly! And I hope to keep it that way!

There's also the fact that I ought to add this new debt to my signature! I can't bring myself to quite right now! But maybe after I've paid the £300 and made my first payment to Barclaycard to make me feel better about it!

Despite talking scary money there, today has been an NSD... number 10 I think (I've lost count this month). I won't be reaching my target but them the breaks sometimes.

A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart.
Jonathan Swift

I'm guessing the same goes for a wise women...

MrsMoo2U

Well done on thinking things through Nic. That is half the battle.

Just a cautionary word about Barclaycard. If you have any intentions of making extra payments be careful because it automatically cancels the DD payment if you make payments at certain points in the month. I was doing PADS to mine and the DD stopped coming out. I stopped making PADS when they explained to me that paying at certain times stopped the DD, then the next month the DD didnt operate at all and so there was a late payment causing them to cancel my 0%. It was sorted out as it was their fault and they did apologise and refund the extra percentage payments etc. However they failed to notify the credit agencies that it was their mistake and 2 years later I am still trying to get it sorted. Other than that I quite like them

I saw a quote today that made me giggle and thought about your current supervisor
Don't get your knickers in a twist because it resolves nothing and just causes you to walk funny :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: