If you wanted to move abroad would your OH?

gabyjane

This has been something that we have talked about lots in the past as i find it totally miserable living here!..it's always phased out and time has passed..i dont think until our recent holiday which made dh realise the change in lifestyle that things could be so much better..not sure why this one either as we go away usually once a year but still. Neither of us are naive enough to not know that it doesnt happen overnight but it is something i'm really growing towards as time goes on. Talking to dh the other night i thought may upset me as he has lots of family and friends and in the past has said it's not really him but he said he was open to looking into it and we should sit down and look at what it would take to do (a lot!)..i am easy and it is dd who we are concerened about which is why this prob would be a huge task of saving over the next few years when she is older and poss out of school..dh doesn't enjoy his job so nothing keeping him here like that and me too..it's something that is very important though.
Has anyone moved abroad and done what they think is the 'right' thing or am i stuck in this miserable place forever?!!

Oh please anyone who says it is not one long holiday please don't..i know!
Thanks for any replies x

pug_in_a_bed

depends where really

could actually become very real for me once oh finishes his phd as all the jobs in his field are in norway, america and holland.

I would miss my family loads but on the other hand it could be something short termish that we wouldn't be able to experience once 'proper' grown ups later lol

DKLS

All depends on the location and timing, My OH wouldnt want to be more than a 3hr flight away from her parents, I would be happy anywhere in the world, apart from AUS/NZ, that would be grounds for divorce.

euronorris

Hi Gabyjane!

I move to Netherlands a year ago now. My OH was already here, and had lived in Belgium for 5 years previously. He is British, but I met him through a work friend when he was living in Belgium. We had a long distance relationship from the start so we both knew that one of us would need to move eventually if the relationship was to survive.

I took the leap and joined him here in NL (he had moved here about 6 months into our relationship for work) and I LOVE it. Sure, it's difficult sometimes, with the language, but most people speak English, so you can get by pretty easily.

I love the difference in culture, experiencing new things and a healthier lifestyle. People tend to eat less and move more here and you soon pick up good habits. Especially as there isn't as much choice in junk food etc (only a few different flavours for the crisps - oh how I miss S&V crisps!).

That said, I do miss my friends and family terribly! Luckily tough, I am not that far away, so it's easy for me to visit them and vice versa.

I won't lie, sometimes it's really hard. I experienced a death in the family last year, whilst I was here. My OH was great, but I just wanted to be with the rest of my family but I had to wait a few days before flying out etc. And sometimes, you find you just miss them terribly for no reason in particular. It just hits you and you suddenly feel quite down.

But, there are webcams, phone calls, emails etc etc and it gets better with time.

Utlimately though, I couldn't imagine living in the UK again. I think I would have a hard time with that now, as I prefer a lot of things here. But who knows what the future will bring!

Where are you thinking of moving too? Close by (Europe) or further afield (Australia, NZ etc)?

xx

*Louise*

We are the opposite - my OH would love to move abroad and has mentioned it numerous times over the years. He has gone from wanting Australia, then NZ, then Canada and now wants to move to Florida.

He doesn't have many family members on his side, but I have loads, and cannot contemplate leaving them all behind. Plus our mothers would be devastated if we moved their 3 grandchildren away.

OP - you say you are thinking of waiting until your daughter is older, why not save anyway as if you are going to do it, then re evaluate things in a few years. If you still want to, then start researching...if you have changed your mind - you have some money to spend :T

gingin_2

We've got very close to moving abroad twice.

The main things to consider are that you can't just "choose" to live in a lot of countries. If you are both British citizens, the USA is almost impossible to gain a Green Card. Canada requires you to be eligible to fulfil their skilled workers requirements and even then you are looking at a 3 year wait plus for your visa. Australia and New Zealand are similar in terms of skill requirements, although for all three you might gain quicker entry if your job falls under one in their list of skills shortages.

In the end, it was cost of living that scuppered it for us. Once we looked at house prices, food bills, moving cost etc. etc, we were going to be significantly worse off. As our children got more integrated into school here we saw that really it was a huge gamble that we didn't know would pay off and it wouldn't be fair on them. I also think you have to be a very solid and independent couple as you really will be going it alone. I loved the idea of the excitement of going out into the great unknown, but having to make new friends, get used to a new culture and not seeing old family and friends for years at a time put us off.

Good luck!

gabyjane

Hi thanks for the replys.
The only family i have here really are my brother and sister, i dont see loads of them but would miss them lots of course..other than them and a handful of friends (who i mainly keep in touch with on the net theres no stopping me..dh has family so can understand why he is slightly unkeen but he can always say no!
Dd needs to be in school wherever we are so that is always first priority then jobs..i can't think of anywhere other than USA or Oz id'e like to be really and know US is hard to get into unless you have a job lined up. Dh is a chef and me a childminder and thats the thing that scares me the most getting over three and having no income..how do people manage when it comes to that sort of thing? literally starting from scratch?
Obviously there are 100 and 1 other things to think of.
Thanks for the replys

gingin_2

gabyjane wrote: »

Hi thanks for the replys.
Dd needs to be in school wherever we are so that is always first priority then jobs..i can't think of anywhere other than USA or Oz id'e like to be really and know US is hard to get into unless you have a job lined up. Dh is a chef and me a childminder and thats the thing that scares me the most getting over three and having no income..how do people manage when it comes to that sort of thing? literally starting from scratch?
Obviously there are 100 and 1 other things to think of.
Thanks for the replys

In all honesty I don't think you would get into the US. It's not just a case of finding a job and then getting in. Your OH's employer would need to sponsor you (which costs a lot of money) which would really mean that your OH would have to be able to offer something exceptional to anyone else fighting for the job and even then if your OH was to find himself out of work, you would have no sponsorship and no right to remain in the country.

Sorry to put a downer on it for you. I am just trying to be realistic before you really get your hopes up.

euronorris

I think you need to have a certain amount of savings for Australia before they allow you in. Not sure about the job requirements.

This site might be helpful: http://www.migrationexpert.com/australia/visa/visa_australia.asp?fid=100036&utm_id=56&utm_term=emigrating%20to%20australia&gclid=ck_xr9cy0z8cfv1d4wod2vuthg

If not, have a search on Google, you can find lots and lots of info on there.

Just remember that Australia is soooo far away. It will be really difficult for anyone to visit you, or vice versa. Not just because of the cost, but the flight is just too much for some people.

Triggles

I grew up in the states, then moved to UK to be with DH. DH made it clear years ago that if I was not happy here in the UK and wanted to move back to the states, he would go along and we would go as a family. But I also know that DH would be very unhappy living in the states, as would I. We are happy here in the UK.

I think it's very important to remember that it's a lot different seeing the states on holiday as it is living there. It's a long tough slog to get through the paperwork (from what I've been told by friends who have done it) to move to the states. And from living there for years, I can say that it really isn't better there than here. At least in my opinion. Medical insurance is dreadfully expensive and tied to your job, which limits your job choices and often can lock you into a job, unless you are an extremely high earner. There is no such thing as child benefit or a lot of the benefits such as working tax credit like you get here, in case you fall on tough times. And the US is NOT by any stretch of the imagination "child-" or "family-friendly" in work practices or protection. Which is something to consider if you plan on having any more chilldren, believe me. And there is no NHS, which is a big big issue as well. I have seen medical bills from one incident literally cripple people financially. From what I understand, they are really tightening up the rules for people moving to the states as well, and I do believe they limit the numbers, so I would say it will be fairly tough. Unless you have family or friends that will sponsor you and agree to help support you, you wouldn't be able to go to the US without either a high amount of money or a moderate amount of money plus a job lined up already.

I know that doesn't sound very positive, but I have had soooo many people say to me "I can't believe you and your DH live here in the UK when you could live in the US"... for me, it's no contest. UK will win hands down every time. Life here (for us, anyway) is so much better.

Pollycat

gabyjane wrote: »

This has been something that we have talked about lots in the past as i find it totally miserable living here!..it's always phased out and time has passed..i dont think until our recent holiday which made dh realise the change in lifestyle that things could be so much better..not sure why this one either as we go away usually once a year but still. Neither of us are naive enough to not know that it doesnt happen overnight but it is something i'm really growing towards as time goes on. Talking to dh the other night i thought may upset me as he has lots of family and friends and in the past has said it's not really him but he said he was open to looking into it and we should sit down and look at what it would take to do (a lot!)..i am easy and it is dd who we are concerened about which is why this prob would be a huge task of saving over the next few years when she is older and poss out of school..dh doesn't enjoy his job so nothing keeping him here like that and me too..it's something that is very important though.
Has anyone moved abroad and done what they think is the 'right' thing or am i stuck in this miserable place forever?!!

Oh please anyone who says it is not one long holiday please don't..i know!
Thanks for any replies x

It might be a good idea for you to check out some of the holiday websites that have an ex-pat specific forum - I know holidaytruths has one.