If you wanted to move abroad would your OH?

gabyjane

Hi thanks for the replys..a fairly quick responce and ill add more later but felt for any added replys i should clarify a few things.

I agree with lots of points made, however some i don't. I KNOW the grass is not greener on the other side..i am under no illusions it is going to be like some sort of ongoing holiday (ide get bored) as i asked about work/schools etc so know we wouldn't have an easy life as such doing nothing..the difference being the culture, weather, people, general way of life makes me happier. We go away almost every year and this is the first time i have felt like it may be the right thing to do..infact i am very sure BUT there are huge implications to it which is why im looking into it now..if it doesn't happen least we have thought about it in some depth.

I read down and got to your post peachyprice and my heart sunk..I knew someone may bring that up..again i will explain later why i have thought about her and why i am still considering it. It is a very hard personal experience and not taken easily at all..unfortunatly due to me being her 'mother' it is never going to be the right thing with us..me being here or anywhere else..again ill try to clarify later on (i have to go out and soon and the blotchy look from crying isn't good)

We are talking (we lol well me and dh is nodding away when i bring it up!) 5 years ish when dd will be around 16 as feel it would take that long to get things sorted out..we are going to start saving and go from there..obviously money dd, work, a possible house sale are all huge factors to begin with nevermind the other bits.

For whoever said 'depends what you are trying to get away from'..nothing bad if that's the point?!..other than family i feel we have no ties..work/possible school can be moved hopefully and other than an income what else is there..i can honestly say other than a handful of people i wouldn't get homesick as its not like i have a huge social life now (infact the peole who i see most at school i will not see again in 5 months as most are leaving the school for secondary so feel like im starting again ..i really didnt want to come home from our trip unlike other holidays where you have a strange kind of inkling to return!..i hate the constant weather here..yesterday was anvery stressful start to the week as an icy start, had 2 near misses from just normal driving and thought how common the cold really is in general..we live in a really cliquey town which im not overly happy with everyone knowing what you are doing every 5 mins..(again not hiding anything just like my privacy)..i can't pin point anything major other than the weather that makes me such a different person which seems a really silly reason to consider it but hey..isn't life too short to be happy?

Anyway i'm rambling! i wanted to say thanks for the sites posted and i will sit later and have a good nose through them..i feel the friends i have and could talk to will not be happy with the thought of decision as one moved to france and lasted about 6 months and ruined lots for themselves (completely diff to us though) and one who has relatives in Oz so will find a reason not to (she did when we went on our cruise but we loved it!)..my brother i have no idea what he would think..prob go for it as he's that kind of person and my sister ..she's the person id'e miss the most tbh..infact i'm quite sad thinking about it but she's the only real one..it wouldn't be anyone being spiteful it's just i still dont want to be debating something that is still in very early stages.

Ill be back on tonight..thanks again for all the replies they have been very helpful x

euronorris

You will probably find quite a bit of resistance from friends. I did. They came around in the end, but one in particular felt like she was being abandoned by me and another friend (who moved to the other side of the UK around the same time). We talked it through though, and made promises to keep in touch (email, webcam, text etc) and visit each other. She's doing great now.

The family. I found most of mine didn't want me to leave them, but also wanted me to be happy and at least try it if it was what I wanted. My brother seemed to have the biggest issue with it, although he doesn't say it in so many words, but I get a lot of 'you know, if you ever want/need to move back, you can stay here, we'll help you find your feet again' etc etc. That's his way of saying how much he misses me, but he also knows that I am happy here. I guess it's a balancing act.

It will always be tricky, but yeah, best not to bring it up with friends and family until you have made a decision.

pukkamum

my DH's uncle and his wife recently moved to Oz and they are really struggling she is a very expreienced nurse.
However, she is finding it hard to get a job, they are saying that everything is v. expensive and that they are really struggling with the way of life.
He says there are only so many days you can spend on the beach without getting bored.
They are seriously considering coming home before they spend the money they have from their house sale just on basic living expenses.

gabyjane

Hi..sorry to hear that about your relatives. That is another thing that worries me (lots of things worry me btw!)..if dh or i lose our jobs here we get help from our goverment i'm guessing there is nothing like that there?..one of us can get another job here relatively easily even if it is the corner shop down the rd to make ends meet but again i'm thinking it may not be that easy..being there is not home as such and not quite as easy as coping like we know how to do here.
Dh has worked out roughly what he would earn if he was lucky enough to be accepted and i guess working out living costs etc work the same as here with added health insurance etc on top..if we are very near that mark of just living it is a huge gamble to take.
Thanks for the reply..i can see it taking years to decide/do!!

pukkamum wrote: »

my DH's uncle and his wife recently moved to Oz and they are really struggling she is a very expreienced nurse.
However, she is finding it hard to get a job, they are saying that everything is v. expensive and that they are really struggling with the way of life.
He says there are only so many days you can spend on the beach without getting bored.
They are seriously considering coming home before they spend the money they have from their house sale just on basic living expenses.

gabyjane

Hi again thanks for any replies.

Ok a few thoughts we have had and always major ones at that! this is also just posted for me as a record in a way to track things but here goes!

We are looking at WA as a starting point..obviously we cant afford to trek round oz for weeks and some places are a deff no no but just wanted to point out that some people had the impression we meant US..no i wouldn't want to live there..lovely place but nope!

The visa application for skilled workers has to be done before you reach 45..dh is 40 at the end of this year so gives us 5 years or a tad less to sort things..what happens after that 45 age point..is it a no no to go there and that's it?

Again in 5 years time dd will hit 16 and her last year in school..depending on times how does it tally on being flexible as such (not a lot by the sounds of it!)..she would leave in the sept and dh's birthday is in the nov not a lot of breathing space..

Selling our house..we are S/O so again not simple and very hard to tell how long it would take to do..there is a huge shortage where we live so i would hope easyish but who knows..

jobs can you apply for and get before you get out there? or is it done after you arrive..then how do you ever know if you will get one and be stuck there poor!

Dh said about applying for a visa now but wary on whether it is too early..i have said about leaving it till the ned of the year and seeing then as it will only be 4 years..sigh so much to think about and paperwork stresses me!!

Peachy regarding dd i have decided not to go into detail as nothing i say will ever justify or make sense to anyone who doesn't know me, or how i feel or explain really what our relationship is like so thanks for pointing it out..i hadn't forgotten about her though of course.

I have looked on lots of expats sites..visa sites..job sites..think its the job that worries me the most tbh..anyone who has/does work there would be greatly appreciated as to how you got on..it says you have to be assessed in your workplace which dh wasn't keen on as didnt want his bosses knowing which is fair enough..how can you get round this?

Thanks

mintymoneysaver

Are you talking about taking your ( to be then ) 16 year old with you? Having a 16 year old I can't imagine she would ever forgive me for taking her away from her friends and her life!

gabyjane

Hi mintymoneysaver yes i am..each child is different though i guess and she is very happy to go right now tbh and she has lots of friends here..It is never going to be a very good time is it..now or then but yes later rather than sooner.

Pee

Your daughter will actually leave schol once the exams are over, so June rather than September, although sitting GCSE's and thinking about packing would not be fun. It might be possible for one of you, the one most likely to get the better job, to move over ahead whilst the other one deals with packing up and staying with your daughter. Does have to be said that what seems a good idea to an eleven year old may not seem so good to a 16 year old who is maybe in love with a first crush or boyfriend and for who moving to the opposite end of the world will seem a very big deal.

gabyjane

Pee wrote: »

Your daughter will actually leave schol once the exams are over, so June rather than September, although sitting GCSE's and thinking about packing would not be fun. It might be possible for one of you, the one most likely to get the better job, to move over ahead whilst the other one deals with packing up and staying with your daughter. Does have to be said that what seems a good idea to an eleven year old may not seem so good to a 16 year old who is maybe in love with a first crush or boyfriend and for who moving to the opposite end of the world will seem a very big deal.

True points BUT who's to say i might not chnage my mind or dh? as for school the timing is nt the end of the world really it is the age factors for the visas we are trying to work out.
As for boyfriends..at 16 maybe a good reason to upsticks!!

gabyjane

Well i have so much going on in my head and just dont know where to start with it all! I wish someone could wave a magic wand over us and i'de be there tommmorow! I keep thinking we have lots of time but it flies..what if we save and dont go..what if we cant save and miss out..what if we can't sell the house?..how will things ever fall into place???

I got to work this morning after fighting the cold again..same old routine..same old faces if i see anyone (worked there for 11 years) got talking to the man i work with who said (sods law) 'guess what my brother called us last night..he's moving to Oz' there was this pang of excitement and hatred for him! and thought that's just typical that is but hey good luck to him..without saying too much i quizzed him as to how/why he was going (he is 52) and then he said 'ide go if i were you theres nothing here' etc..i tried so hard to say 'i know i know' but he knows i dont like it here! he is very upbeat and said he only thinks england will get worse. I said id'e love to and if it wasn't so hard id'e be there like a shot!

I got home to our house, the house i adore and just looked at it thinking if anything would make me stay that is a big part it is this house that we saved and stressed over for years..yet somehow i just don't care anymore..i have no idea why..i'm very house house all the time so feels odd to think like that..what's happening to me?! the thought of renting again there doesnt shock me yet here i hate the thought of it..is that normal?! I said to the man at work i could count on one hand the amount of times we had been in our lovely garden and sat in it like you should be able to and i work from home..pointless!..amongst other things it annoys me really.

The huge things like Visa etc are scaring me and reading on various forums has scared me even more yet i know when they are done they are done..I worry about everything though and look round wondering if it would ever ever come together..i guess time will tell hey!

*Edit* the man above from work rung me a minute ago to tell me to turn on channel 1 as 'wanted down under' is on!! recording it for later now!

I am sorry if i am going on, again just for my clarity really as time goes on and the good and bad points there are (i have done a list!)..we have started a savings goal for 4 years time and will see if after a year it is acheivable as have my job income pretty much set as of this morning so can hopefully know i am ok for income (I'm SE too) although who knows with my job!