Teenager & Mobile Phone Bill

euronorris

The fact that you are even paying for a contract in the first place is a luxury, not a right. He has abused your trust and so the luxury will be removed.

As others have said, he can still call emergency services without credit so no issue there. And, if he ever gets stuck somewhere, there are still phone boxes! Even if he doesn't have any money, he can do a reverse charge call, or borrow a friends mobile, or ask to use the house phone very quickly.

I think, despite the Asperger's, a big part of this is teenage tantrums. He's gotten away with it for the last 6 months, so he WILL kick up a fuss now that your putting your foot down.

As for your husband.....well, part of being a parent is facing up to not always being popular or liked. But, I have NEVER heard of ANY teenager leaving home because their mobile phone was removed!! Plenty have threatened it, but it's an empty threat. After all, they still have a loving family, a roof over their heads, food etc etc

Good luck tonight!

Oh, perhaps you can try and discuss this calmly with the OH first. I know it might be tricky, but if you can get him on board, it will obviously be better. And ask him, does he really want his son to grow up with no idea of the value of money???

bouncydog1

My 17 yo daughter has a PAYG phone that I top up for her online on a monthly basis - usually £5 and as she is hardly on her phone this lasts. If she is roaming then I put in a little more.

However she knows that if it runs out of credit, she has to top it up herself or wait until next month.

As for your husband, he is certainly having the wool pulled over his eyes if he thinks this is okay and you can just fund it.

I would confiscate the contract phone and keep if for myself on a point of principle if you can't change it to a PAYG. I would also agree a set amount for jobs if your son isn't earning, so that he works off the rather large balance he has run up.

Mobiles for 3 of us on PAYG cost less than £200 per year.:D

Cerenia

I would give him a PAYG sim in his phone as well, I ran up a £55 bill on my first contract at 17, learnt since then! He's obviously not learnt, being a repeat offender, he learns to learn the hard way to respect money

thorsoak

cindiedunkley wrote: »

Cheers guys for all your replies and advice.
He can't walk to college, it's too far. I think that he has been receiving expensive texts or some such and he has opened them and been billed for it. This is what I plan to do:
1 Get a PAYG sim card with £10 credit
2 Allow him £15 for petrol for the next 6 weeks

Now, lets deal with the aggression problem. He is about to turn 17 and is just over 6ft tall. I am not worried that he will get violent with me or his Dad as it would be the last thing he ever remembered doing. However, he has Aspergers' Syndrome and with this comes all sorts of issues. I worry that he will deliberately damage his scooter or trash his room etc. I know this sounds strange but I don't know where the Aspergers stops and the spoiled tantrum throwing teenager begins.
Now, lets deal with the husband. He hates confrontation. As you say he needs to 'man up' and I agree. But our lad is our only child and hubby has always been worried that we will 'lose him'. What I mean by this is that he will leave home and have no contact (hard to beleive when he can't leave the house without his phone) or there will be a big falling out and he'll 'go off the rails'. Right now when I look at my husband and son I just want to slap the pair of them for their selfish and immature behaviour. I don't think my husband should worry about our son leaving home, I think he should worry about me leaving home and I'll take the chickens and the dog.

This is a situation which could go two ways - the right way and the wrong way

You say your son has Aspergers - is he in any sort of programme which helps to to get a handle on things? At 17, one would hope that he was - the outside world is not always forgiving, and a 6ft teenager having a tantrum is not going to be allowed to get away with it!

You and your OH have to sit down and talk and face your son with a united front. Personally, I agree with those who have suggested that you take over his contract ang give him a £20 phone with £10 prepaid PAYG on it. And out of his £40 "wages" from his father, £20 per week goes towards paying off his phone bill.

And if he trashes his room or his scooter? He has to live with the mess ....and make his own arrangements about getting to and from college!

Time for Tough Love!

diddyangel

If he was mine I would give him back the phone with a pay and go sim in it. I would also make sure his dad only gave him £20 instead of £40, dad keeps £20 to pay towards the debt - and tell him he is to top his phone up with his own money. He has to understand that the are consequences to his actions. Otherwise what is to stop him maxing out his first credit card a month after his 18th birthdday, and expecting you to bail him out then too.

Also, if you don't mind me asking you. What was he doing to run up a £200 bill. Have you checked the itemised bill. I'm only asking because a colleagues 15year old son has aspergers and he ran up a very large bill on their landline (during school holiday when he was left alone for about 1 hour after dad left for work but before mum came home). He was calling chat lines - not s>x lines or anything but just chat lines and he became addicted to this and did it everytime he was alone. His mum hit the roof and did not let his asperegers excuse his behaviour. He is paying it back by doing jobs around the house and earning his keep so to speak. His allowance and treats were stopped and then gradually increased as the debt was paid of. BT barred premium calls from the landline and let them pay it off bit by bit.

Fire_Fox

Many mobile companies do free calls to landlines, I renegotiated this with my £15 a month Orange contract. Useful for kids being able to ring you in emergencies, and even each other for free!

4Chickens

Morning All

I couldn't face a shouting match with my son so I wrote him a note explaining that over the last 6 months his mobile phone had cost us £720 and that all the money he owes me plus the most recent bill will be paid back at £20 per week until it is paid off. He isn't getting anything for his birthday and might get something for Christmas IF he has paid back all the money by then.
I got him a payg sim and put £15 credit on it which is now added to the money he owes me. He will be responsible for putting any further credit on the phone.
I cancelled my mobile phone contract with H3G as it finishes next month and I have taken over his contract and mobile phone number. I am going to have great fun when his spotty faced chavvy mates call.:D
So all is calm is Chez Dunkley this morning.
I've just got to learn how to use this new phone. I only get a new phone once every three years so I am way behind the times.
Anyway thank you all very much for your advice and support. I don't know what I would do without MSE'rs:T

MORPH3US

Well done cindiedunkley...

I don't necessarily think the note was the best way to go... I think mature responsible adults should sit down around a table and discuss like adults.. ok your son may not be any of that but IMHO he has to be given the opportunity to be.

I understand what you mean though about not wanting or needing a shouting match and you know your own son better than I or anyone else does.

Hope it works and well done for dealing with it - hope your husband supports you in your decisions.

jackieglasgow

cindiedunkley wrote: »

Morning All

I have taken over his contract and mobile phone number. I am going to have great fun when his spotty faced chavvy mates call.:D

:rotfl::rotfl:I almost pi$ed myself laughing at this!:rotfl::rotfl:

red_devil

cindiedunkley wrote: »

My lad has a contract phone that is billed alongside his dads'. I received the Orange bill yesterday and he has run up a bill of £200 inc vat. Now, this is not the first time, it's about the seventh time, the highest amount being about £300 incl vat
He owes me about £450 from when his dad and I went on holiday in September when he messed about with his scooter and needed it repairing. Also, we pay his scooter insurance at £40ish per month and he doesn't receive EMA
Needless to say I hit the roof when I got the bill yesterday. I have told him he now owes me £550 and the other £100? Happy birthday son (it's his birthday on 2 March).
I have taken his phone off him and told him to get a pay as you go. There were huge rows last night. Him shouting and swearing and being agressive.
I spoke with my husband this morning and said I am not giving the phone back and my husband came back with: what if he has an accident on the way to college. My response was: what makes you think we can get to him quicker than an ambulance and if he's knocked out he won't be ringing anyone anyway. I overheard my son trying to emotionally blackmail my husband last night, so I know where this has come from.
I am so angry I could cry. Angry at my son and my husband. I do my best to control our finances so that we can all enjoy treats etc. But I feel like I am being undermined. I don't earn anything near what my husband earns so feel my arguments about money saving are weak. I worry now where this will all end, the three of us are barely talking to each other.
Please help with some advice:(

They shouldnt have a phone till they can afford it themselves? Also shouting and swearing at you wonderful no respect either. Rather you than me. Spoilt little prince.