Teenager & Mobile Phone Bill

4Chickens

Cheers guys for all your replies and advice.
He can't walk to college, it's too far. I think that he has been receiving expensive texts or some such and he has opened them and been billed for it. This is what I plan to do:
1 Get a PAYG sim card with £10 credit
2 Allow him £15 for petrol for the next 6 weeks

Now, lets deal with the aggression problem. He is about to turn 17 and is just over 6ft tall. I am not worried that he will get violent with me or his Dad as it would be the last thing he ever remembered doing. However, he has Aspergers' Syndrome and with this comes all sorts of issues. I worry that he will deliberately damage his scooter or trash his room etc. I know this sounds strange but I don't know where the Aspergers stops and the spoiled tantrum throwing teenager begins.
Now, lets deal with the husband. He hates confrontation. As you say he needs to 'man up' and I agree. But our lad is our only child and hubby has always been worried that we will 'lose him'. What I mean by this is that he will leave home and have no contact (hard to beleive when he can't leave the house without his phone) or there will be a big falling out and he'll 'go off the rails'. Right now when I look at my husband and son I just want to slap the pair of them for their selfish and immature behaviour. I don't think my husband should worry about our son leaving home, I think he should worry about me leaving home and I'll take the chickens and the dog.

Becles

Tesco mobile do a good SIM only deal. The minimum is £10 a month, but you get the equivilant of £40 PAYG credit for the £10. I think it's 20p per minutes and 10p per text. If you register 5 favourite numbers, you can call/text at half price.

You can cap the bill so they can never spend more than their allowance, and once they run out of credit that's it!

I've got my son's on a plan each and they are learning how to make it last for the month as they know I'll not put any extra on it.

squidge60

Becles wrote: »

Tesco mobile do a good SIM only deal. The minimum is £10 a month, but you get the equivilant of £40 PAYG credit for the £10. I think it's 20p per minutes and 10p per text. If you register 5 favourite numbers, you can call/text at half price.

You can cap the bill so they can never spend more than their allowance, and once they run out of credit that's it!

I've got my son's on a plan each and they are learning how to make it last for the month as they know I'll not put any extra on it.

We got this for our dd its great ,expensive numbers they cant ring either,and the first month your credit rolls over.:T

Curious_George_2

i got my dad a phone for christmas (hes a technophobe and couldnt work the one he had... i would get endless blank texts while he was trying to change his ringtone etc lol)

so i found out that he was on t mobile, I walked in to one of thier shops and asked for the worst phone they do, no gadgets, bells or whistles... just a bog standard phoning / texting thing...
they gave me one that cost £20 and that had a sim card in it loaded with £10 credit! lol

if you cant break his contract for now, maybe you could use his phone and embarrass the hell out him with a crappy PAYG model... any 17 year olds i know would be mortified to own a brick! lol

Kandipandi

Im sorry to say but what were you guys thinking! You say that this is the seventh time he has run up a huge bill!

There is no way I would get a teenager a contract phone, and if I had and he ran up a huge bill that would be the end of it, that first time not the 8th time.

Get him a cheap mobile and let him top it up with his own money and if he can afford it then he does without, I made it through college and uni without a mobile phone and i'm still here to tell the tale.

Not meaning to have a go at you but I have teenagers and It's just not something I would ever contemplate.

paddy's_mum

Cindiedunkley - you beat me to it with your comment that your husband should be worried that you are the one who might leave home!

Perhaps this big family upset could be turned into a positive if it leads to you confronting your husband about his roll-over-and-surrender whenever your son stamps his feet demanding what he clearly perceives as his entitlement.

Perhaps you should point out, firmly and definitely, that your husband either pulls in harness with you or you will be withdrawing every last little supportive thing that you do. Washing up? - there's the sink. Cooking? - there's the saucepan. Laundry? - that thing there is a washing machine. Sex? - that thing on the end of your arm is ..

Seven lots of massive and unecessary bills is six lots too many and I'm astounded that your husband can't see it - Asperger's or not, your boy is doing quite nicely out of you, thank you very much. Sometimes the only way to make people see what a great deal they're getting is to withdraw it!

I'd also add that I strongly disagree with his/your perception that as your husband earns more than you ... in a marriage, you are presumed to be equal partners. Earning more of the family's bread doesn't give that person more say over how that bread is spent and I would hope that spouses today had long ago left that flawed perception behind in the dark ages where it so rightly belongs. Good luck.

choille

Scooters are very cheap to run - so his petrol not cost very much at all.

He should be paying all of his bills at that age & if he can't then he needs to get some other PT work.

It isn't doing him or a future wife any favours by giving him to his tantrums - you know this.
You have to get your husband on board on this or you have to just let them go their own merry way.
What you need to do is sit down & work out what your sons owes in debt then leave him enough for petrol & nothing else. Many people that age have to support themselves. He'll keep up the tantrums if they work & he gets his own way. He's not behaving like an adult - I know you point out he's got aspergers, but he needs a bit of reality. I could not stand this situation.

4Chickens

Thanks again guys.
If we surrender the contract I reckon it will cost us £450 (£25 x 18mths) and that is just a bridge too far for me at the moment.
I have got some errands to do in town after work and I am going to get a payg orange sim card.
I know that there are going to be tantrums tonight and I have in the back of my mind all your comments and advice and I am going to fire them like bullets at the pair of them. The first one to mention the mobile phone is going to get both barrels.
I will update you tomorrow, if I can't it will be headline news in the Sun

pigpen

I have 3 contract phones in my name.. 1 my 18 year old son has... he doesn't live at home but he is at college so, as long as it is not a large bill I will pay it.. Lord knows why I do, I just do.. we had one monster bill £235).. he learned.. fast! The other my 15 year old daughter uses.. one large bill (£86) and she has learned, she is also on O2 and there is a £20 cap.. she gets 200 minutes and 500 texts so there is no need to have a huge bill. The next 2 down are both on PAYG.. one has learning difficulties so I need him to be able to contact me as and when he needs to.. like when he got lost on the way to school!! :eek:

I'd simply not pay the bill.. at all.. he is big enough and stupid enough to make the same mistake over and over.. what has he learned?? Nothing at all useful.. If he whines his parents give in.. that is no lesson for him but this should be a lesson for you (well, maybe mostly his dad) If you stand by and watch him be bailed out time and again you are just as much to blame for his lack of progress as his dad.. parenting is a joint effort...

If you ring the phone bodies they will split the payment into 2 or 3 payments if it makes it easier for you.

Get dad on his own and TELL him straight as it is.

Aspergers is no excuse.. if he breaks his scooter.. he has to pay to fix that too.. If he trashes his room he has to tidy it and it is his stuff that is broken.. his loss!! and yes I have one with aspergers too!!

Get a capped contract or a PAYG and force his dad to stop being such a doormat!

My ex lost our oldest because he was a nasty bullying rude horrible person.. not because he said 'Actually son, you cannot do this, and you need to come up with a way to repair things.. we will help guide you and show you a path but we will not do it for you'

Go slap the pair of them, they both have a lot of growing up to do!!

Good luck!!

choille

Good for you having the sense in the household.

I picture you like Rambo - ammo belts strung over the sholders, bandana on.

Good luck.