Teenager & Mobile Phone Bill

4Chickens

My lad has a contract phone that is billed alongside his dads'. I received the Orange bill yesterday and he has run up a bill of £200 inc vat. Now, this is not the first time, it's about the seventh time, the highest amount being about £300 incl vat
He owes me about £450 from when his dad and I went on holiday in September when he messed about with his scooter and needed it repairing. Also, we pay his scooter insurance at £40ish per month and he doesn't receive EMA
Needless to say I hit the roof when I got the bill yesterday. I have told him he now owes me £550 and the other £100? Happy birthday son (it's his birthday on 2 March).
I have taken his phone off him and told him to get a pay as you go. There were huge rows last night. Him shouting and swearing and being agressive.
I spoke with my husband this morning and said I am not giving the phone back and my husband came back with: what if he has an accident on the way to college. My response was: what makes you think we can get to him quicker than an ambulance and if he's knocked out he won't be ringing anyone anyway. I overheard my son trying to emotionally blackmail my husband last night, so I know where this has come from.
I am so angry I could cry. Angry at my son and my husband. I do my best to control our finances so that we can all enjoy treats etc. But I feel like I am being undermined. I don't earn anything near what my husband earns so feel my arguments about money saving are weak. I worry now where this will all end, the three of us are barely talking to each other.
Please help with some advice:(

savingmummy

I certainly would not put up with that. He will have to get PAYG and pay it himself.
How will he pay you back?
If your husband gives in he will always do this, run up bills and leave mum and dad to foot the bill. He needs to be shown some personal responsibility.

My parents were very soft with my younger brother. His now 23 and always relying on my parents for money. He owes them 100`s but can never pay back so gets away with the debt owed.
He is moving out in March.....then he will struggle x

Broken_hearted

Mine has a pay as you go, always has been. That way no big bills, he has to top up each month to get his free texts which works well.

claireac

Give him the phone back, but with a payg sim card in there!! That's what I would do. Or can Orange cap the contract, so it won't ring/text out when it reaches a certain level?

I have two sons and learnt with the first one that contract mobiles and teenagers don't mix! Poor ds2 didn't get a contract one until he got his own.

I think your dh should be backing you though. I bet he didn't have a mobile as a teenager and managed just fine lol.

ManOnTheMoon

Ouch! I thought it was bad when 15yo had an £84 landline bill. After taking advice, I asked her to pay half back and work off the other half, and to her credit she did both with no resistance.

If, as your husband said, he had an accident, a payg phone, even with no credit would get him through to emergency services, so that's not even an issue.

If husband is earning more than you and he's siding with son, ask him to pay off the bill if he's that concerned?

If husband doesn't, downsize all of their foods and other things and explain it's because of the phonebill.

I don't really know what else to suggest as my girls don't get aggressive with me, so have no experience in that.

Hope someone more useful is able to give better advice.

hbloomers

£200? Who on earth was he phoning?

Is the phone out of contract yet? If it is, its usually fairly simple to go about cancelling it. If its not, that's when things become more complicated.

If he really only needs it for emergencies (*rolls eyes*), why don't you give him a really basic phone? No games, nothing fancy, but something that makes calls and sends text messages. Have a search about, and you can find some really good PAYG deals on different networks.

redpete

No advice I'm afraid but I'm amazed that any 17yr old is allowed to run up phone bills of that size with no comeback - is your husband really happy to keep paying out these amounts?

I'd look at limiting the amount of credit the phone company allows on the contract - but it might be difficult if it's linked to your husband's account.

MORPH3US

I think you are 100% in the right cindiedunkley, make him pay everything back and make him get his own payg phone.

Your husband should "man-up" and back you up rather than pandering to your son.

The fact your husband earns more than you means nothing, you are a unit, a team if you like, so you should all act in the best interests of your team and wasting £200 on a phone bill is not.

When the son is 18 he can get his own contract and do what he likes with his money once he pays his board to you... until then, tough.

I too would NEVER let a child of mine have a contract mobile in my name, its just asking for trouble. The number of times we have had the same scenario posted on here is depressing and everyone always thinks "this wouldn't happen with my child" (not having a go at you OP here, just general advice for anyone reading).

Curious_George_2

everything i was going to say has already been said in the very good advice you have already been given,

but you definitely need to stop this vicious circle your in, either by capping the contract or getting a PAYG sim, as you said its not the first time...its the seventh!! well surely after bailing the kid out on about the third time you taught him that he can do this and you will pay for it,

give him his options and tell him there are plenty of students out there with part time jobs to fund expensive hobbies like scooters and never ending phone bills, at the very least you should write up a list of jobs with a monetary value attached to each one so he can start woking off what he owes you,

It sounds like your husband may think this is harsh but in the real world (where your 17 year old will shortly be) if you run up a debt you have to pay it back one way or another and the sooner DS learns this then the better off he will be

good luck

TheEffect

I ran up a £180 phone bill when I was 16 (3 years ago). My parents took my phone off me and made me pay them the money back for the next year. I learnt my lesson and am a lot more careful now I have my own phone bill in my own name, which if I cannot afford, then I'll have the debt collectors round.

Teach him the lesson now.

paulwf

hbloomers wrote: »

£200? Who on earth was he phoning?

Exactly. £18 can get you 700 minutes and unlimited texts OR 300 minutes, unlimited texts and nearly unlimited internet on Virgin liberty SIM. £200 suggests either he is on completely the wrong tariff or he is calling/accessing content that he shouldn't.

Firstly go through the itemised bill then read the guides on this site to save money. Given most households have unlimited free landline calls and unlimited broadband he really shouldn't have to use his mobile that much (I get by quite comfortably on a £10 per month mobile package).

I work with lots of teenagers, they get free board and food but use their part time jobs to pay for their phone, entertainment and cars.

As a full time worker I can't afford to run up a £200 a month phone bill, you need to get him out of the habit or he will be in serious trouble when he has to truly pay his own way.