what is acceptable??

jasperconran

Hi, this might not be on the right thread, so I apologise in advance!:D

The question I have is this, what do you think is acceptable to spend on your children for birthdays and xmas? My OH thinks that we have to spend 100's of pounds on our DD every year:eek: (as you will see from my sig, this aint happening anymore!:rotfl:) She is 13 this year, and I have now gotta have an ebay blitz cos she has loads of games shes never played and clothes shes never worn!!!. any help/ideas on being more OS when it comes to your kids?? what do others spend on their kids for birthdays and xmas?? sorry if im bein nosey, but I could really do with some help this year!! thanks x

elf06

my son is considerably younger (3) but the first and second year I spend about £20 on xmas (each year) and about £40 on his first birthday, £30-£40 on his second birthday, last year for his birthday approx £30 and last xmas about £50.

I realise that as he grows there will be things that he wants that will be expensive (games consoles, bikes etc) but so far he has loved the pressies he has got and I have kept the cost reasonable (IMO).

The other thing I do is to buy things I know he would like as I see them and then use the money from other people (my grandparents and aunt always always send money and ask me to buy him something) to recover some of the cost. Please dont think that I dont pay any of my own money because the costs above are what I have paid for him. I just buy the things I know he would want for the amount (or add a few quid to it) that my relatives will undoubtedly sent!

Hope all of that makes sense - the caffine hasnt kicked in yet :rotfl:

Justamum

jasperconran wrote: »

My OH thinks that we have to spend 100's of pounds on our DD every year:eek: (as you will see from my sig, this aint happening anymore!:rotfl:)

If the finances in our house were left to my DH we would be living on bread and water!

It's not necessary to spend hundreds of pounds every year, and if you can't actually afford it then it's just silly. Last Christmas our DD1 (who is 13) got an ipod touch and some books. Her presents were the most expensive - we spent less on DS, but he got what he wanted, and DD2 is only 4 (5 in 8 sleeps ) and she had the least spent on her, but she was delighed with what she got (Charlie and Lola featured quite a bit :rotfl:). My mum used to buy piles of stuff for them, but there's such a lot they never played with, so I've told her it's a waste of money. She bought them all some pjs this year.

What I'm doing this year is putting one week's child benefit a month away towards presents - we get ours in cash so I put it in a tin (I already put money each week away towards tv licence, car tax and childrens' activities).

Ivrytwr3

my work colleague has 3 children 9, 12 and 17, they got approx £600 each spent on them last xmas! It was also the 12 year olds birthday in January; he got a £400 laptop!!

We spent about £200 each, which i think is still a lot (and they got a load more gifts off friends/family!)

elf06

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

my work colleague has 3 children 9, 12 and 17, they got approx £600 each spent on them last xmas! It was also the 12 year olds birthday in January; he got a £400 laptop!!

IMHO that is madness! A friend of mine spends £500 on her sons birthday and £500 on his xmas! I told her I thought she was mental - she has for a a very long time been a single mum and only worked part time so she spend half the year scrimping for his birthday and the 2nd half scrimping for his xmas..........

Olliebeak

I've always found that the families with the least money available, are the ones who spend extraordinary sums of money when it comes to birthdays/christmases - maybe they're trying to 'over-compensate' for their general lack of 'material goods'. The few families that I DO know with 'real money' just don't do that at all.

People like Ivrytwr3's colleague and Elf06's friend are the kind who start/perpetuate the 'well EVERYBODY else has got one' syndrome that our kids try to make us all feel guilty with.

When my kids were growing up, we had neighbours where the kids received all kinds of wonderful stuff for Christmas - but it all miraculously disappeared by New Year. Sent back to the catalogue by their mother as being 'unsuitable' or 'broken when received'. As far as her kids were concerned, they'd been able to brag for weeks about 'I'm getting ...........', 'Guess what I got ...........' and then the final one of 'I used to have one of those .............'. Hated my kids even talking to them - though none of all that was their fault really - all down to their 'wanting to impress' mother.

Justamum

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

my work colleague has 3 children 9, 12 and 17, they got approx £600 each spent on them last xmas! It was also the 12 year olds birthday in January; he got a £400 laptop!!

We spent about £200 each, which i think is still a lot (and they got a load more gifts off friends/family!)

£600 each! :eek: I'll just about manage to save £600 a year in my tin for the three of them to divide between Xmas and birthdays!

I wonder if some people think that they are showing other people that they love their children more by showering them with so much stuff - which won't be appreciated or looked after properly.

Justamum

elf06 wrote: »

IMHO that is madness! A friend of mine spends £500 on her sons birthday and £500 on his xmas! I told her I thought she was mental - she has for a a very long time been a single mum and only worked part time so she spend half the year scrimping for his birthday and the 2nd half scrimping for his xmas..........

Total madness.

Justamum

It's my DD2's birthday next week, but she's not getting a huge amount - I got her an outfit before Xmas which I put away for her birthday (Charlie and Lola), plus I'm buying her something from the Puzzle Company, and she's getting some play dough. I'm also crocheting her a horse!

valk_scot

Usually about £150 on average per child for birthday or Christmas. (I have an 8 yr old DD and a 13 yr old DS.) It's not the same all the time though..they might get a bigger pressie for a birthday and less for Christmas. If it's going to be really big, like DS's XboX last autumn then auntie and granny will chip in too.

I've got no problem with second hand presents btw and neither have the kids. Things like DS games and DVDs often come from Ebay at a third of the shop price.

They do get other stuff during the year though. Bikes are sports equipment in this house (we do a lot of cycling) so are bought as and when required...and passed on a lot! I'm a sucker for a request for a book and there's always been a steady trickle of crafts items. Clothes are just clothes, I buy them and no reasonable request for a specific item is refused. Other than that though they can get out there and save up pocket money or do extra chores etc for more things. DS has an extra £100 or so tucked away in his bank account from the unexpected snow shovelling opportunities recently!

We could afford more but really, they've got more than enough. If we couldn't afford it then they'd get less. It's a bad example to be lavishing them with stuff that they don't really need or just want on a whim and be struggling to pay the gas bill.

tori.k

I have 3 teenagers 16.14.12. they get £50 for birthdays and £100 for Christmas

I was honest with my kids when our income dropped as they are old enough to understand and to my surprise say they are having a better life with a lower income as we spend more time as a family. to be expected i still get the odd moan for the latest Xbox game there mate's already have. but i think they are getting a good lesson on how life really is and that things like water rates & council tax exist,