how to tell DS age 4 dog has died ?

jopsey

My beloved dog died this morning ,he had been ill on and off for last year or so but this morning had heart failure .

I am upset but it was his time he was an old dog and had suffered enough ,my biggest worry is how to tell my 4 yr (going on 14 :rotfl:)when he comes home from school ,my gut reaction is just tell him the truth that the dog was poorly and gone to heaven ,do you think this a bit blunt for a 4 year old ?

wornoutmumoftwo

When my cat died I told my sons (3&4) that he had been ill and was now living in heaven. They watched us bury him (he was wrapped in a towel).
They looked shocked, but seemed to take it in their stride.

sarabe

My dogs and cats have always gone on to be stars in the sky.

The children seem to be able to relate to this concept.

My grandson told me that Ash and Lucy often follow him and Mummy when they take Chance for a walk in the dark.

Sorry for your loss.

more_money_for_me

I would go with honesty, in which ever way you think is best for your child.

adviceforall

i agree with the above post, when our guinea pig died on christmas day 08 we told our grandaughter that she was old and had gone to heaven and was a star in the sky, even now a year on she still looks up and says there's Gertie's star

keys_2

Well one of my pet rats died just before Xmas . I knew 24 hours before he wasnt going to last long . So I told my dd who is 3 " that is is very sad and that he is going to go to sleep soon - and when he does his body will go to heaven which is a nice place for all pets and animals go to "

Then the following day { when he had died } I let her see him in a nice box with bedding etc - I dont know if this is the correct way or not. But I felt she understood more by seeing him , which ,made her realise that he would not wake up . And I said she could stroke him when she asked . And I told her she wouldnt see him again { In a nice way } and she should say Goodbye to him .
She understood it was very sad however she was at ease with this , rather than he had just dissapeared .
I told her he will be having fun in the sky with all the other animals / insects etc. As she has seen dead birds on the road / worms / flies etc in the past .

I do not believe in heaven or things like that myself , but I think at such a young age twisting the truth a little wont hurt .

There is no real way of telling them , and maybe you can try judging what to say on the fact you know how much your son will understand on how poorly your dog was recently .

Sorry for your loss - I will never forget my best pal ive ever had , and that was my little jack Russell that lived to be 21 years old - So my thoughts are with you today .

chris_n_tj

I think for a four year old to keep it simple as others had said. When your son gets home the words will just come, well they did when we had a to tell our DD her kitty had died.
Can I just add I am ss for your loss, old or not its an upseting time for you all.
((((hugs)))) for you all
Chris n TJ xxx

concerned43

really sorry for your loss, I have two dogs myself and dreading the day they go to heaven. My son's hampster died a couple of months ago and he was dearly loved, I was really upset and buried him in the garden with a little cross and flowers (I admit I was crying), I was dreading telling my son but when I collected him from school I just told him H had died and held my breath for what was to come ....he yelled "why" and then asked what was for tea ... kids eh!
PS - still miss my little Humprey:(

Fire_Fox

On many websites they use the 'rainbow bridge' analogy, and there are a number of poems doing the rounds that you might be able to read to your son?

Rev

Firstly, sorry for your loss. Losing an animal is heartbreaking at any age.

When my dog died last year I told my nephew (he's 3) she had gone to the stars, he was still upset, obviously but now whenever it's a clear night he points to a star and says that's my dog. I think for them, at that age, they still feel they have some way of seeing the dog because it's in the stars.

YorkiePud_3

I am SO sorry for your loss after all these years .... it's never easy to lose any pet, whether they are old or young, whether it is sudden or not.

I would always advocate honesty no matter what age the children may be whose pet has passed away. This is something they will remember for the rest of their life, especially with it being the first pet they've known.

I wouldn't dress it up in any way to make it schmaltzy but I would say that your dog was very very poorly and couldn't get any better here so he has gone to another place where he can run around, be happy again and enjoy the things he couldn't enjoy here. Then I would say you will always love him and think of him and he will always be part of the family.

I think kids that age are brilliant at taking in things like this. I mean, of course they will be heartbroken, but they do seem to bounce back quicker from the shock.

One thing I did with my cousin's little girl when her doggie died, was to make a Memory Book. She had a fine time looking through all the photos of her dog and sticking them in a little scrapbook and we wrote in little things he used to do, games he used to enjoy playing, etc - just remembering the good times and the fun. I am sure it helped her over the initial shock and heartbreak and in years to come as she grows up it is something she can look back at and remember her first best friend.

Just editing this to say .. she's also kept his collar and lead. We don't know where it is, but it is somewhere in her bedroom. I would definitely ask your little one if he wants to keep something of the dog's rather than just clearing everything out and throwing it all away .. be it a little toy or his collar ... just a link ... something he can hold to help him over the first stage of grieving ...

Sending lots of love and hugs to your family ... sometimes doing the right thing isn't always the easiest thing *S* xxxx