It's worse than I thought!

jayss

For the presents issue I found the survey sites(ipoints, ipsos, lightspeed, see the up your income board) really helpful, boring to do but a few £10 vouchers cashed in before xmas worked out brilliantly for me.

Well done on getting fashion world done, and good luck with the rest.

sarahs999

HI. Just thought I'd add my thoughts. You're doing a great job and have clearly had your lightbulb moment, but your DH hasn't and until he does, it will be an interminable uphill struggle. Every tiny saving you make will be wiped away in an instant by another packet of fags, or a few extra pints.

It took my DH quite a while to understand how it all worked and how he had a role to play in getting us back on track, but it did get through in the end. You just have to be prepared to keep going at it when you have a reluctant other half. My DH's bete noire was parking tickets. I would spend all my spare time (I already work full time) doing daft little mystery shops for pennies,or filling in online surveys or selling our old rubbish on ebay and in one fell swoop he would wipe it out by parking stupidly. The rages I had about that were something to behold! I'm happy to report that nowadays he's a changed man. So it can happen. DO I take it that you're the one that is responsible for running most of the house? THat's part of the problem if so, as it will mean life just continues around him, and all he has to worry about expense-wise is where the next beer is coming from. Getting him to deal with some bills would be a good start...

And one more thing. Do you know why you have racked up these debts? You need to be sure that you won't do it again and that the spending is under control.

pelirocco

beccam wrote: »

Hi Danni, thanks for replying so quickly.

I'll try to answer questions......
£15 for landline is for line rental to BT which still has to be paid even though calls etc are through Sky.

Mobile phone is approx £25 each on monthly bills with O2, mine is due for renewal very soon so I'm going to try and haggle as I've been a customer for a very long time!

The 'entertainment' has shocked me! Was only tonight I totalled up that fags are now approx £6/pack which would bring DH to around £25-£30/week plus he buys a pack of beers every weekend which I think is usually around £10.......I don't know how well the talk over this is going to go down but hope once he sees the figures it might encourage him!

I should also explain the savings/emergency fund thing which is because we are due 2nd baby at the end of June and would like to have some fall back money for when my maternity pay starts as this will lower my income.

How much lower will your income be , you need to be budgeting with the lower income in mind

MrsTinks

Could I suggest you give him a small notebook and ask him to keep a spending diary and do the same yourself. If he's a fussy eater then I suspect you're underestimating what food is costing you (guessing he buys lunchest at work )
Sit down together and do a meal plan for this week - have a list of suggestions and if there are any he DEF won't eat then no point in cooking it, but if there is no home cooked food he will eat then you need to give him a good hard slap!

beccam

RobertoMoir wrote: »

If that's what works out for you, just don't forget to put it back one day!



Yes I think you have to work on this as a problem you both have and both have to solve.

What does he like to eat? There are some great threads there on re-creating the sort of curries and Chinese dishes that takeaways and shops do. Goodness knows I'm not what most people would call a healthy eater but I can't imagine dinner without a nice bit of veg in it to compliment the main part of the meal!

[/COLOR]

In all seriousness, does he know you're posting here? Has he seen the figures you're working with here? Could you tell him about this forum and let him see for himself how the figures from your SOA and others are picked apart. Does he realise how much he spends per month on entertainment. Not suggesting you badger him or anything but if one of you is trying to save money and the other one isn't then you're going to find it hard to succeed and you'll only end up generating a lot of stress and resentment in your relationship.

Firstly you need to change your sig as you're really quite nice or are you being gentle with the newbie??;)

Hubby tends to avoid the issue but yes last night he found me in tears and being physically sick over this all so he knows we are in dire straits, he isn't good at financial things, it's always been down to me and to be fair when we married he had no debt, no cards and everything was in my name, it's only now that I'm beginning to accept he has been a major factor in this too but I don't think he has totally accepted that yet as he sees my deliveries from Next and Littlewoods arriving and feels that balances out his spending.:o
I don't want him to resent me for getting him into this but I don't want to end up resenting him for not making an effort either.....not easy when pregnancy hormones are kicking in!

MrsTinks

Hang on - if your income the higher of the 2? Or is HIS the higher of the two?

If it's yours then you're gonna be in trouble when you go on ML! :eek:

beccam

jayss wrote: »

For the presents issue I found the survey sites(ipoints, ipsos, lightspeed, see the up your income board) really helpful, boring to do but a few £10 vouchers cashed in before xmas worked out brilliantly for me.

Well done on getting fashion world done, and good luck with the rest.

Never heard of the survey sites?? Are they easy enough to do? I should have a bit of spare time when maternity leave starts to be able to do plenty.

MrsTinks

And Roberto is actually quite nice He just doesn't always have much time for people if they're not serious about makking an effort - am I right Roberto?

beccam

sarahs999 wrote: »

HI. Just thought I'd add my thoughts. You're doing a great job and have clearly had your lightbulb moment, but your DH hasn't and until he does, it will be an interminable uphill struggle. Every tiny saving you make will be wiped away in an instant by another packet of fags, or a few extra pints.

It took my DH quite a while to understand how it all worked and how he had a role to play in getting us back on track, but it did get through in the end. You just have to be prepared to keep going at it when you have a reluctant other half. My DH's bete noire was parking tickets. I would spend all my spare time (I already work full time) doing daft little mystery shops for pennies,or filling in online surveys or selling our old rubbish on ebay and in one fell swoop he would wipe it out by parking stupidly. The rages I had about that were something to behold! I'm happy to report that nowadays he's a changed man. So it can happen. DO I take it that you're the one that is responsible for running most of the house? THat's part of the problem if so, as it will mean life just continues around him, and all he has to worry about expense-wise is where the next beer is coming from. Getting him to deal with some bills would be a good start...

And one more thing. Do you know why you have racked up these debts? You need to be sure that you won't do it again and that the spending is under control.

God I'm close to tears again! Debt is such an emotional thing too and what you say about your situation could be me talking.

The debts have come from the old story of living beyond our means, wanting things now and putting them on credit rather than save, for me it's an addiction to sales/bargains.....I lost alot of weight and treated myself to new clothes as I dropped each dress size, now through things happening and bump weight has creeped back on and more clothes have been bought. Same for DD, she has a wardrobe and chest of drawers full of clothes, half of which have been worn a few times before she has taken another big growth spurt and I buy more.
I looked last night at the shelf beside my bed which at a rough guess has about £50 worth of books bought in Tesco etc, haircuts at £50 a go, dinners out, trips to see family in London etc etc.

Hubs was made redundant in Sep 08 and didn't find this job until Mar 09 which coincided with me being on long term sick from work so droped income alot then and increased debt.

beccam

sorry have to go pick DD up, back in a bit to answer more!