Only child or not?

balletshoes

Hi OP,

I have an only child, and I don't regret it at all. All the way through nursery and primary school so far, there has always been at least one other child in her class who has no siblings. I know some of her friends envy her, not having to share her room/toys etc. I don't honestly think theres any stigma attached to any family with just one child anymore. In fact, most of the people I work with have one child.

On the flip side, my sister had her 2, 3 years apart, and once the sleepless nights were past, she found it easier with 2 than with one (they can amuse and entertain each other, rather than always turning to a parent for the attention and interaction). They do bicker and argue, of course they do, but then so does my daughter with her cousins and friends.

I'm absolutely sure my husband would like to have another child, but at our ages, thats not likely to happen, so we'll just continue to treasure the child we have.

As to finances etc, my feelings regarding that is now and has always been, so long as you can provide a roof over your childrens heads, shelter, clothe and feed them, and try your hardest to make them always feel loved, safe and secure, they won't go far wrong, and neither will you. I'm sure there are folk here (and I'm one of them) who, if we waited until the perfect time to have a child/children, would still be waiting .

Nixer

OP - your post makes it sound as if you aren't ready for a second at the moment. You're worried as you're 35 but you've loads of time - I'm nearly 37 and still haven't decided if I want kids or not yet.

As to "acceptable" - don't live your life according to what others think. Some people have bloody odd views about things like this anyway. No one has both been an only and not been an only so cannot compare which is "better".

My partner is an only and quite a few of my friends are. They're all fairly well adjusted people. None of them know what it's like to have a sibling; I don't know what it's like to not have one. Not all siblings will be close and get along - I am estranged from my brother at the moment. Obviously I know siblings who do get along. I'm just saying that you should do what you want and not worry too much about it.

jennihen

I was one of four, I have two older sisters, one has 1 child, the other has 2 and I have 3. We always joke about the dynamics of each others families: an only child, the rivalry between 2 children and my three who have to 'wait' much longer to get the good stuff. There's no such thing as the perfect number - whatever you end up up (my third was part blessing/part accident!!) will work!