Only child or not?

yoyo1980

Siblings - dont' get me started!! we fight like cat & dog - I was eldest of 3!

OrkneyStar

staceysteve wrote: »

...ok
God willing we will have more than one but definately wouldn't choose to just have one.
I feel sorry for him because he has never experienced all the wonderful things that come with having a sibling, some things you can only learn from siblings I feel!
My whole post was my PERSONAL OPINION I did not judge.
Didn't relise I had to be sooooooooo specific!

So you feel sorry for him based on your opinion, not based on anything concrete he has told you ?
That puts it in perspective .
OP, there is no right or wrong, and don't let anyone tell you there is, or emotionally try to presuade you one way or the other.
Whatever, all the best.

minimoneysaver

I have a daughter and she is going to remain an only child due to health reasons. I have thought long and hard about it. In the future as she gets older, I plan on letting her bring a friend on family holidays for company. She has friends at school, (she's 4) and sees other friends at the weekend. I don't think she is lonely or longs for company. Having another child has to be for the right reasons.

glastocat

I'm an only child, and I love it! I wanted to have a few children, but I had horrendous health problems giving birth, so my kid will be an only too. There is absolutely no reason to feel sorry for me or my kid, like me he positively revels in all the attention he gets as an only, and has told me several times that he wouldn't want a sibling. My mum is from a family of ten kids, she got !!!!!! all attention and they were very poor - personally I think that is a much more pitiable situation.

Anyway, for me I struggled for years thinking I would like another child, but a year or so ago decided I'd be foolish to risk my health, and have been very happy with my decision since. So I'd advise just taking some pressure off yourself for a while, and the right answer will probably come to you. I know my husband would have liked more children, but he'd rather have me alive and healthy.:)

tandraig

hun, there are many many people out there who were only children - there are advantages to being one you know - more attention off parent, more family money available, room to yourself! I dont know if this is correct but i read of a study which said only children tended to be higher achievers than those with siblings.
you already seem aware of the disadvantages so wont go through them again!
your list weighs heavily on the cons - over the next few days try to add to the pros - if you cant then perhaps there is your answer.
oh, and to those who are so brazen as to interfere in your life by telling you, you cant just have one child either tell them to mind their own business or think how many kids they have - double it and tell them you think thats how many they should have!!!
honestly, i think its the height of rudeness to tell people how many kids to have! there are so many people out there struggling to concieve - how do they know you arent one of them?

Mags_cat

I'm an only child and I absolutely love it - admittedly I know no other way, but it's never worried me at all.

I'm independent and self reliant, I can choose to socalise but am perfectly happy with my own space.

I did feel, when growing up, that I learned to get on with adults much better as they were who my parents (and I) were around most of the time. We moved at fairly crucial schooling points in my life (at 5 years old, then again at 11) so I was always the "new girl" at any school. I didn't make many friends - but to be honest that's more about who I am rather than the situation I was placed in. I still don't have many friends - but the ones I have are diamonds

If I had to do it all again (and got to choose) I'd be the only one all over again.

You're the ones that know what's best for you - trust your instincts and do what feels right.

Prudent

I only have one child (for complicated reasons) and always felt a bit guilty that my dd didn't have a sibling. She is now 17 and I recently talked to her about it. She has been quite happy to be an only child and has been aware of the advantages. She has two very close friends who have been like extended family and says they have more than made up for anything she has missed out on.

choccybuttons

Hi

I LOVE being an only child. I was never lonely - I still very much enjoy my own company and Im a very independent person. My parents doted on me - they were very strict but I never lacked love and attention.

I have a 1 year old and I am happy. We might have more (im only 30) but I do enjoy being able to do things with my wee boy.

xx

January20

I have only one child too and she is 17. She has always said that she loves being an only child. I think you have to remember that times have changed from when we were growing up and children nowadays - whether only children or not - socialise a lot more with their friends than their parents may have as children. I'm talking about play dates, sleepovers, etc.

There is no garantee your children will get on. I don't get on with my sister, and for all my pretence that I don't care, it's a heavy burden for me.

People are very emotive on this topic, but what I've learned from my experience is whatever you do, you will be questioned and judged whether you have 1, 2 or 5 children, so you have to do what you really want to - for yourself - because you will be the one caring and bringing up this (these) child(ren).

Biggeeangelpie

hi Confuse mummy

I am 38 hubbie is 45 and we have one boy, after a long time waiting for him, he finally arrived. My hubbie would also like another, but to be honest at 38 i dont think it would happen and i a more aware of my age and the risks. Also a little selfish and now feel we are finally getting a little quality time as a couple and a family

Everyone is different, i think our boy is enough and i dont feel guilty of him being an only one.

You will do what is right for you in then end, good luck