The giving up/cutting down alcohol thread part VI

Pippilongstocking

Aww lilith xxxx

Relationships are quite stressful and quite difficult to find ones that work at every level for all of us - who's to say that he will ever find what he has with you in a different life.

I really feel for you - you have to be true to your own happiness as well - did you get back to relate again? (sorry if I sound nosey)

I sort of know how you feel - my hubby desperately wanted kids and I didnt - I've two now which I love to bits and no husband - go figure eh?

Life is full of real complications and surprises.

When I met my new partner many years later I put the 'I don't want anymore kids' out there with him which he was fine with - but now he's broody - not sure if its a phase with him or if it will pass. I also don't know how I feel about any of it!

I really do feel for you x

Marru

Lilith, I was in rocky relationship and then got pregnant with DD, he wanted to get rid of her, I decided to keep her. Our relationship went further downhill and eventually when DD was just under 3 years I finally got out. My experience is that children will not patch a rocky relationship even if both sides want them. So sorry if this sounds harsh but it is just what I have seen at my home when child and then with my own DD.

Pippilongstocking

Oh sorry - I'm supposed to be listening! (()) waves to Marru - isn't it funny how life pans out?

The upshot of my insane ramblings is that you have to do what's best for you cos in the long run - the only real person in life who can make you happy is you.xx

DecemberBaby_2

Hi. I'm going to be AF tonight so that's 4 please Shaggy.

Wet and miserable here this evening. The weather - not me!

Sorry to hear you have a horrible cold Marru but good luck with the betting.

Also hugs to you Mookiepook I hope your mood improves soon and
you have a great trip tomorrow.

Lilith - have you and OH thought of trying Relate? I found them
very good when trying to make a decision to spilt or not a number of
years ago. I went on my own to talk things through as OH didn't want to.
It still helped me.

DB x

Pippilongstocking

OH DB - by the way the socks puppets were ace!

DecemberBaby_2

Marru wrote: »

Lilith, I was in rocky relationship and then got pregnant with DD, he wanted to get rid of her, I decided to keep her. Our relationship went further downhill and eventually when DD was just under 3 years I finally got out. My experience is that children will not patch a rocky relationship even if both sides want them. So sorry if this sounds harsh but it is just what I have seen at my home when child and then with my own DD.

I have to agree with you. I have had a very similar experience. A child will never patch up a rocky relationship and it is hard on them when it all goes
wrong.

DecemberBaby_2

fayjmck wrote: »

OH DB - by the way the socks puppets were ace!

I'm so glad you liked them I'm a big fan :rotfl:

Lilith1980

Thanks for your support peeps

We are going to Relate in April - we already booked to go because we were having other problems and then the kids issue just blew the rest out of the water.

I did ask hubby whether he would consider waiting to see if I changed my mind, but there would be no guarantees that I would. He said he wouldn't want to risk it which I can totally understand and I'm not angry at him at all for that.

I know there's nothing that can be done. I don't want children, whether I change my mind in the future I couldn't tell but he wants them sooner rather than later so he deserves someone who shares the same view.

Just feel gutted - if this hadn't come up we would have gone to Relate and hopefully been able to sort out the other issues we had, but this one can only be solved by one of us compromising which neither of us want to do.

I'm trying to stay positive though. I'm making a list of things I will need when I move out (which won't be for a few months as I need to save). My favourite colour is purple so looking for purple accessories that I can purchase, that cheers me up a bit

Pippilongstocking

DecemberBaby wrote: »

I have to agree with you. I have had a very similar experience. A child will never patch up a rocky relationship and it is hard on them when it all goes
wrong.

Yup that's for sure - thankfully my two were so little 2 and 3 1/2 when my husband left us - they don't really remember much - but my son does get sad still, although they see lots of their dad - lifes just never straightforward.

OK I'm hopping in the bath for 10 mins - please not 16 pages to catch up on!!!!

DecemberBaby_2

Almost the same as me Fay. My two were 21 months and 3 and a half.
It was ok at that point but more tears in later years when they found
it very hard that he was not here with them. He still sees them but
it is not often enough and never has been. It used to break my heart to see them upset about it. Crikey - emotions are still raw. That made me cry.