Proposals - how did you handle it?!

wifeforlife

This is really to both male and females

I fear my OH is going to propose this year, to be honest it was mentioned last year that he was going to but didn't as he couldn't afford a ring. This really peeved me off, as I took it as he thought I was materialistic when infact I don't even wear jewellery, I couldn't believe he wanted to make the big grand proposal as it's not him and definately not me.

I love the idea of marriage, and would love to be his wife but I'm dreading him proposing. I'd much prefer him just to set the date, ask if it suits and leave it at that. Where did this big proposal thing come from? Why do men feel they have to do it? and why am I so afraid of it?

So how did you handle the proposal, especially the quiet moment when waiting on or giving an answer? I'm even getting palpatations just typing this

Lotus-eater

Men often feel they have to, same as the ring.

Loopy_Girl

Are you quite a shy person? Do you hate being the centre of attention?

(p.s can I bring my kid to your wedding - I'll round up a few more - and I'll make sure you get a lovely set of mint towels as a gift;) even though your bathroom isn't green. And you didn't ask for them:rotfl::D)

*Louise*

cathy2702 wrote: »

I love the idea of marriage, and would love to be his wife but I'm dreading him proposing. I'd much prefer him just to set the date, ask if it suits and leave it at that. Where did this big proposal thing come from? Why do men feel they have to do it? and why am I so afraid of it?

Have you told him this?????

If not, now you know why men feel the need to do it - because their partner hasnt told them otherwise and they are sucked into doing things the traditional 'right' way

Talk to him, tell him how you feel...better still - just ask him if he wants to get married on *insert date here* and save yourself both the turmoil.

No need to be afraid if you confront things and are honest about how you feel

xx

DaveLy

Men think it's what women want, even if they say it isn't. He makes the effort, you'll say its not what you want... he doesn't make the effort and in retrospect you'll look back and think "meh, wasn't anything special, he should of made some effort"

You lot can be a confusing bunch sometimes :-)

A phrase comes to mind.
damned if you do, damned if you don't!

Kazipoo

Hahahaha, my hubby said "So.... do ya wanna get married or what??!!??"

And later (when he purchased the ring), he did the down on one knee thing, which was quite honestly, a tad embarrassing!

hayley11

He probably thinks it's what you want. If you've never discussed it, then how would he know? Why not just mention in passing that you don't like all that? That proposals aren't your thing?

My OH proposed at a local beauty spot at midnight on new years eve, there were people there and the thought of him getting down on knee in front of those people filled me with dread :rotfl: Luckily we walked off so it was just us and it was perfect.

Norman_Bean

You don't have to have a big proposal - my H and I sort of just decided together that we wanted to get married.
After the chat we looked at each other and said 'so are we engaged then?' and decided we were :rotfl:
We went and chose a ring together a few days later x
Have a chat with him - just cos it's traditional doesn't mean it suits everyone x
Good luck x

SkintGypsy

It's awful and cringey. And the wedding vows were the same. Means to an end. I wanted to be married and have babies. If I could have skipped through to that part then I would have without a second thought.

If he does go ahead, give him the reaction he is waiting for and make it worth his while, especially if he's not really a down on one knee kind of guy.

Or you could just ask him to marry you if its the marriage you want, and not the mushy romantic stuff.

wifeforlife

He know's how I feel, I'm very up front but he wants the traditional surprise. It's at the stage where if he mentions wee breaks away for example he mentioned a spa break for my birthday, I'm already saying no just incase it's part of a bigger plan. I was on edge all over Christmas because of it too.

I must say I do love him, we've two kids, one of which is a new born, that's not in question. I promise it really is just the actual proposal.

wifeforlife

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Are you quite a shy person? Do you hate being the centre of attention?

(p.s can I bring my kid to your wedding - I'll round up a few more - and I'll make sure you get a lovely set of mint towels as a gift;) even though your bathroom isn't green. And you didn't ask for them:rotfl::D)

Oh no, only my own kids will be at my wedding (if I have one lol) am insisting on over 18's only

Would have loved the green towels, ironically just went and got some last weekend

I would say I am shy and absolutely hate being the centre of attention but he would disagree because I chat to people, and he would say seem at ease with people.