Well here goes.. feeling hopeless

BrandNewDay

The thing that jumped out at me from your post was that you're paying your boyfriend's bills on your credit cards.

Stop doing that. Seriously - do whatever you have to do to get by, but DO NOT pay your boyfriend's living expenses on your credit cards. He's not even your husband! He's just a boyfriend! And, the odds are that he will never pay you back.

I'm sorry that you've had a lot of illness and bad luck, but something about your situation is just striking me as being your own bad choices. I don't know enough about you to really say WHAT it is, but I'm just getting a feeling that you're not really on the ball with taking care of your life.

MrsTinks

Being dismissed for being ill is not gross misconduct hun Gross misconduct is stealing out the till or shouting racial aduse at co-workers so stop thinking of yourself as unemployable.
If your health is back on track then start temping. Do any job you can get your hands on, cleaning, babysitting, night shift at Tesco, dog walking you name it

Once you start getting money in again you will find that your self esteem will start to pick up and things will look a lot better

lynzpower

Why dont you go to the jobcentre and tell them what youve told us? You want to work, you want to "get off " benefits, what can they do to help.

I do know from a mate of mine that used to work in the jobcentre that they have some jobs for people who struggle with interviews etc ,that they can jst slot people into. One of them in newcastle was working in a factorey, yes, it was probably a pants job, but at the end of the day you just need a couple of months employability uinder your belt till you can look for something else.

Good luck xx

johanne

BrandNewDay wrote:

The thing that jumped out at me from your post was that you're paying your boyfriend's bills on your credit cards.

Stop doing that. Seriously - do whatever you have to do to get by, but DO NOT pay your boyfriend's living expenses on your credit cards. He's not even your husband! He's just a boyfriend! And, the odds are that he will never pay you back.

I'm sorry that you've had a lot of illness and bad luck, but something about your situation is just striking me as being your own bad choices. I don't know enough about you to really say WHAT it is, but I'm just getting a feeling that you're not really on the ball with taking care of your life.

I dont pay his BILLS as such... i pay out for things he needs a credit card for like buying his business cards online.... because he doesnt have one. I pay for diesel IF the van runs out and he has to leave it in the middle of nowhere and walk home because he has no money to top up the tank (happened a few times lately as hes been leafletting all around liverpool for his business) and if i need lots of errands doing, I.e. lately i gave him "petrol money" because he was running me around to pick up things off freecycle etc and to look for jobs and house hunt etc. He eats at my house because i ask him to instead of making him walk an hour to his mums to get a meal - because he has no kitchen working at the moment due to unexpected bills and work drying up mid-renovation! We write all he owes me down anyway on a big board in my house and every penny he has borrowed up until last month or so hes paid back to me within a week.... its only this last month where things are lingering.... but i KNOW he will give me it back when he can. So i have NO problem doing it...... as he will be paying part of MY bills in August anyway if i have no income wont he?!! So it equals out....

I freely admit ive made bad choices in life.. i could have been stronger over certain things but theres no point looking back and NONE of them have put me in my present situation........as getting fired.... is not my choice...being ill is not my choice! Having to put £3.50 of shopping on your credit card because its cheaper debt than your ever dwindlling overdraft maybe is a bad choice in your eyes i dont know?... i NEVER ever intended to be signed off work seriously ill and lose a job i loved and had been at for a while..... then to not be able to get taken on elsewhere except somewhere that messed me about and made me more ill (and that wasnt me saying that i tried bloody hard and soldiered on...getting up at 5am in the cold and rain to travel 30 miles on a train feeling utter poo cos my face was riddled with infection... only to be sent home hour or so after arriving cos " i didnt fit company image" looking the way i did just cos i was so desperate to work and pay my debt off and be able to have some kind of life!) Im TRYING my hardest... ive signed up with agencies.. but all i keep getting is "ooo you only have retail experiance... we dont think we can offer you much.. we like office experiance" My dad works in an office environment and has done for 35 years and has been passing out my CV to any of his contacts he can just to find me something... even if its making cups of tea and doing the post!!!!

Because this time round ive only been on benefit since May (i worked from March to May) and im only 20 i dont qualify for any extra help in finding work off the jobcentre.. i asked about retraining... about being referred to JET...(which ive done off my own back now anyway)... going on ANY courses available that may make me more employable... and ive been told till im on JSA for at least 6 months straight theres not much they can offer me.... They even question why im looking for jobs with part time hours.... because "surely it wont be worth it".... Im doing an Open university course to try and get my degree... to better my prospects.... i really really wanna work but i just cant find anyone to accept me... i have an A4 folder full of applications ive sent.... and not even had rejection letters.

I guess im just gonna have to shut up and get on with it eh.... ?? Not much more i can do....

johanne

tine wrote:

Being dismissed for being ill is not gross misconduct hun Gross misconduct is stealing out the till or shouting racial aduse at co-workers so stop thinking of yourself as unemployable.
If your health is back on track then start temping. Do any job you can get your hands on, cleaning, babysitting, night shift at Tesco, dog walking you name it

Once you start getting money in again you will find that your self esteem will start to pick up and things will look a lot better

It says gross misconduct on my two letters i have from each company telling me i was dismissed I never ever put it on job applications or anything but it means i cant put them for a reference as they will probably state "gross misconduct" as my reason for leaving so it looks bad...


Id be happy cleaning and have applied for some cleaning jobs (i love housework!), the babysitting id do but not much work about unless you know people with kids and i dont... (i babysit my niece and have done it before though but that families children have grown up now) and the original job i was fired from which i loved to death WAS working the night shift at tesco stacking shelves :rotfl: ... dunno about the dog walking though as im not a dog fan!

ms_london

Hi Johanne!!

I really dont know what to suggest so I am sorry, but I hope things get better for you soon!!

You obviously want to work, so it does annoy me when its made so bl**dy difficult, I had the same problem a few years back and Somerfields wouldnt even give me an interview (I was looking for PA work, but I thought "needs must" and a job would have been a job at the time!). Or you get told your "underqualified" or "overqualified". :mad: :mad:

I do agree with the volunteering as it might lead to other opportunities, and at least give you something to take your mind off things?

I also agree that you should hound the council for them to get your situation sorted out?

Also, how come you wouldnt be entitled to JSA if you move in with your OH or have I read that wrong?

I've seen you a lot in the past on the OS board, so I am sorry that things have taken a turn for the worst ((((((hugs))))).

Does your OH have a spare room for a lodger?

I would also get onto your credit cards & offer them a token amount, and if thats £1 a month, thats what it will have to be, as you obviously cant afford anything else at the moment, but fair play to you for wanting to pay them more!!

I really do sympathise with you, all it takes is for someone to give you a chance, so I hope you get your lucky break soon.

xxx

london29_2

It sounds like you've already explored pretty much every available avenue, but what about the CV and covering letter that you are sending out to companies?

If you have a look at a couple of careers websites online, they'll give you serious tips for improving your CV and covering letter so that they:
a) Stands out from the crowd
b) Sells all your strongest points; and takes attention away from the negative points
c) Are much more likely to result in an interview

There's also a lot of job-websites around, have you tried any of these yet?

Good luck

spud30

johanne wrote:

It says gross misconduct on my two letters i have from each company telling me i was dismissed I never ever put it on job applications or anything but it means i cant put them for a reference as they will probably state "gross misconduct" as my reason for leaving so it looks bad...:p

If you had been sacked for Gross Misconduct, I don't think you would have been able to claim JSA.

I was recently sacked for GM, and am appealing, but cannot claim JSA for six months.

johanne

Thanks for the replies...

Re my CV: ive used Jets guide to writing a CV and jiggled mine about, about 3-4 weeks ago... (i also passed it round a few people who recruit for companies and they said its good). So heres hoping

Re Gross Misconduct: Its all confusing with my last job at least.. i got fired via a letter.. (while on a sick note)... for not attending a meeting that i didnt know about cos they sent the letter informing me of it over a bank holiday and i didnt get it till 2 hours AFTER the meeting.... Then after id signed on.... i got a letter off them inviting me back to another meeting to discuss my return to work..... even though they had confirmed my sacking to the jobcentre....... AND they had advertised my job at least the day they fired me... because i went straight the jobcentre on reciept of my letter and there was my job advertised on the jobpoint!:eek: (so i asked my friend who works there to check when it come onto the system and it was either first thing that morning.. or the day before!) I STILL havent had a contract, payslip or p45 off them.... and i was fired on 3rd May!

Little Update

My boyfriends dad visited yesterday and plumbed in the sink in in what will be "our" kitchen soon and bought the worktop for it too !:j (as my boyfriends 30th birthday present :rotfl:) So theres one less expense.....He also topped up the van with a full tank of diesel... and filled a jimmy can with £5 worth of diesel incase Paul gets stuck somewhere again! :rolleyes: :rotfl: He also bought some electric cards for him and gave my OH £20 cash.... so that should tide him over for a week or two.....

Ive just logged on to greasypalm and found out that my first £25 cashback cheque is on its way! :j :j :j

Also my balance transfer on from my barclaycard has gone through to my sainsburys card! :j So them figures i gave the other day are roughly right! Meaning when i can find the damn reciept for the kitchen units (i put it "somwhere safe" ) i can take the ones we dont need back... and get the £115 refunded back onto my sainsburys card... therefore wiping out my barclaycard debt of £112 i just transferred onto it (free) for that reason....:j

Also just got £18 credit back from 02! So dont need to top up for rest of the month hopefully! :j :j :j :j (although scarily that means ive spent waaaay over budget on my mobile in the last 3 months... but there have been lots of "exceptional circumstances" so i know it wont happen again)

My dads just called to say one of his contacts has just called to say he has jobs going and so did my dad have a copy of my cv (which he did) to forward to him to put me forward as a candidate! So fingers crossed again!

Also recieved an "additional collectors" card for my OH today for my Nectar account so when he buys diesel at the BP garage down the road he can collect the points for my account (hes not allowed to redeem them though ) so theres a few extra pennies to cover food costs! :j

Negative bit of the day logged into my bank and saw my telewest DD has gone out... so im now slightly more overdrawn..... :rolleyes: :rotfl:

ms_london

Well done Johanne - you are sounding very positive & dont little things make a difference? I hope you find a job soon :T :T :T :T