Unemployed 20 yr old son - a couple of questions :)

AnxiousMum

C_Mababejive wrote: »

Anxious mum..i operate in what i could only describe as a high pressure work environment! Sometimes its laid back but a lot of time its stressful. I find it very useful to make lists of things that need doing. Its amazing how much you can get done. The gulf in prioritisation is set only to frustrate you i think. In the end you cant make him do anything. I tend to be very down to earth and rather blunt becuase life is tough for most of us.
Excuses are like a$$holes-everyones got one.

I'm rather down to earth and blunt as well - like or lump it - but dyspraxia is not an excuse any more than somebody with any physical disability. He doesn't do 'lists' per se, but uses mindmapping for projects he's working on. Although his having to do something for his girlfriend may come across to you as an 'excuse' not to have done something, that is very much an association with the dyspraxia.
Yep - life is tough for most of us - glad I don't have any disability visible or otherwise which would just make it a bit tougher. But if I did.....I'd be grateful for a bit of guidance and support rather than being tossed out on the street.

AnxiousMum

unemployedJCP wrote: »

Sorry if I have offended anyone but until you get a snapshot of reality you wont ever start to realise that the Government isn't entirely the angels you think they are. It isn't solely the unemployed getting a hard time, the disabled are pretty much worse off. The whole system stinks. Not an extremist view, some woman jumped and killed herself and her child because as being a european national she required more conditions to claim benefit and they wouldnt accept her past working history, so they withdraw her claim for Housing Benefit after being turned down for Income Support. She was initially claiming JSA but as she became pregnant she lost entitlement. Just one of many cases.

You didn't offend me unemployedJCP - but I did find your post offensive to anybody working within the system to try and help others by providing whatever support they are entitled to.

As for the case you state above, I'm sure that there are many cases where some people's needs simply cannot be met. But, if I was in need and wasn't getting the government assistance here when I needed it, I could always return home and get what I was entitled to there. Hers is a sad and extreme case, but I'm sure that there are many workers who have been constantly abused by customers, are met with anger, abuse etc. on a regular basis, yet continue everyday to go in and do their jobs. Majority of people doing jobs such as theirs start off doing it because they genuinely do want to do some good.

larmy16

Anxious Mum I don't have any information regarding benefits etc. but I just wanted to share that I was in a similar situation with my son (though he did not have a girlfriend) who dropped out after one year of uni. He was so unhappy there that he told me he seriously contemplated suicide!:eek:

Well he returned home and lay around depressed and listless for the entire summer whereupon I got truly fed up and laid my cards on the table. Get a job or you will have to find alternative accomodation! This was not easy to do as you can imagine.I loved him totally but money was tight as I was the only one bringing money in..

Well he went out and got a job the following day. (May be a bit more difficult at the present time) but it still was not easy even then, a couple of years ago.

He has become a "model" citizen!! No days off sick since he started and he really enjoys the routine and responsibility of work.
Just wanted you to know these "disorganized and seemingly lazy" lads can and do come good in the end.

Depressingly our visits to the Job Centre were as described by JCP unfortunately. It was impossible to speak to anyone as the security guard made it clear the system did not work that way. I know they were only doing their job, but it was such a change from my own experiences when you would sit down and they would go through their box of cards with jobs on!!!!!! Very long time ago.

AnxiousMum

Thank you for sharing your experience Larmy. My son too regularly received 100% attendance awards from school and there were definitely areas in school he excelled at. I'm sure he still has those skills somewhere tucked away - and I know that once he gets into a job, feels the satisfaction of getting your pay after a good day's work - he will be a different person.

Glad all worked out for your son - and I'm sure it will for mine too.
I've jumped one step though and already put the foot down about what the rules will be when home here, and that if he doesn't like them, then tough! When he has a home that he provides for his family, it will be his turn to lay down the rules to those living under the roof Thanks again for your paost larmy16.

johnnash87

Vision imaging problems can be easily cured by eye-exercises. The Bates-Method is a highly effective method which makes the eye muscles stronger and helps to get rid of eye-strain.

nearlyrich

My DD left uni part way through year 2 (November), she wasn't happy with the course, she was told, by me, she needed to be paying £40 per week by the end of January and that getting a full time job was a priority, she had a PT job in a restaurant which would have kept her in reasonable style. She did get a job as a temp at first which became a permanent post, she applied for a career type job in the emergency services and was successful after almost two years, the first job ended in redundancy the week before her training started. Walking away from uni is not the end of the world and being a supportive parent means giving a kick up the rear if motivation is lacking. I wonder if your son got the appropriate support whilst at uni from the disabled student support service? Ifhe didn'tand he wants to continue his studies there are software pacages and technology solutions to help with all sorts of conditions and if the student qualifies they get what they need provided.

In the interim I hope he manages to find a fulfilling job that he enjoys.

milfield

Hi AnxiousMum.

Your son will be entitled to Income based JSA. When he makes his claim get him to ask for an appointment to see the DEA at the Job Centre - Disability Employment Adviser. They are specialists in this field, and dyspraxia is a fairly common condition they are well used to dealing with. The DEA may be able to refer your son to a DWP Occupational Psychologist for help.

With a health condition, your son may be fast-tracked to any other schemes the Job Centre has available - he does not have to wait 6 months. Be aware though, that fast-tracking to some things may not be approrpiate just yet due to potential financial sanctions if somebody does not do what they should do. He must of course tell the New Claims Adviser about the condition. They will also reflect this on his JSAG (Jobseekers Agreement).

DLA / ESA is a good one to look at as advised. If he gets DLA at middle or higher rate he may be entitled to Working Tax Credits by doing a part-time job of 16 hours to help him move into work more gently as it were.

The Shaw Trust help people with health conditions also as do the RBLI.