Unemployed 20 yr old son - a couple of questions :)

BritRael

Although it's great for him that he has loving parents to take him in and look after him at this time, it would be good (if only for your peace of mind) to find out what the problem is. At the moment he is not being straight with you about his position, but it seems such a waste to just to jack in uni (if he has) after investing 2 years in it. Not only that, it would severely limit his chances of gaining employment; anything that he (possibly) aspires to anyway don't you think?
Although the post above certainly wouldn't win any prizes for diplomacy, he makes a good point about the 'gap year'.
I hope you manage to pursuade him to go back and successfully complete his studies. He is a young unemployed man looking for work, but in a short time he could be a young unemployed man with a good qualification looking for work

Good luck.

AnxiousMum

Hi Brit Rael - he has in fact left uni, is not on a gap year. His choice in leaving uni was related to a diagnosis of dyspraxia, which he was able to cover up in high school by having learnt techniques to overcome it in that environment. Of course, in university without the constant guidance of a teacher (who wouldn't bring up the obvious dyspraxia he saw after five years of having him as a student, as the school 'couldn't afford the support') the dyspraxia became very apparent to all around him. It is said that a large percentage of dyslexia and dyspraxia cases are diagnosed in university due to the sudden change in learning environment.
So even though he has had two years at university, he failed his first year miserably, and just barely scraped through by the skin of his teeth in the second year - but there was also a funding issue. His father in Canada is in control of my two eldest boys' university trust funds - and short of the kids taking their dad to court for access to their money, he took it upon himself to not provide the monies the boys are entitled to. So, with the dyspraxia, the having to dedicate extra time to work and the trust fund money not being there for him, so needing a part time job was necessary (which he did have the first year for 8 hours per week), there's alot more to it than a kid with no aspirations.
I'm fully aware of what the problem is. He is being straight with me - where did I say he wasn't? I simply stated that I didn't have it straight whether he was on a gap or had ended his links with the university.
When he embarked on this course, he had missed out by ten marks of getting his first choice course, and was offered this course (archaeology). His teachers and advisors at the high school had him convinced he should do it and so went through clearing and got the university place. Had they let him come and discuss it with his family, the first question I would've asked is 'since when did you have an interest in archaeology'......and maybe he wouldn't have just taken the course for the sake of getting a degree. My preference for him that year was to take the gap year - work for a year, combine travel and work, grow up a little and determine exactly what he wanted for his career. Unfortunately he followed the advice of his teachers - who unfortunately at the school he was at, were just after getting some of their students into university as it looks good on their stats.
The good thing that came out of it is he has met the loveliest girl, they've been together for 2-1/2 years, and had he not gone there, they would never have met.
So, at the moment it's worse than being an unemployed young man with a good qualification looking for work (isn't the country full of those?), he has no qualification, has no work, and I'm stepping in to ensure that he now does what is best for him long term. It's pretty much a case of 'you've tried it your way, now try it mine'.

As for the post about the 'gap' year.....my next son is off to study Biomedical Sciences next year - (has two offers, two interviews, and still awaiting word from Warwick) - and he will certainly be taking his gap year after his first degree before heading off to medical school to ensure his funding for the next four years plus. It won't be a 'reward' for work well done, it'll be a hard slog in some research lab working his little heart out for a year to ensure he meets his dream of being a doctor.

Anyways - the original question was.......will he be entitled to sign on and receive NI stamps and employment support if he moves back in with the family.

As for the 'great for him that he has loving parnets to take him and look after him at this time'.......would a parent really put their kid out on the street? 'Looking after him'? No.....just being a parent, and will be expecting to see the effort that I would expect of myself or my partner if we were looking for work.

HappyMJ

AnxiousMum wrote: »

Anyways - the original question was.......will he be entitled to sign on and receive NI stamps and employment support if he moves back in with the family.

The answer has been given to you. He will not receive support until he has been actively claiming for 6 months. i.e actually receiving money.

Depending on the level of dyspraxia he has he would be much better off claiming disablity living allowance. He will get loads more support with his condition and finding an appropriate job to suit his needs. And he'll get that help straight away.

Or you could get him to have a chat with dyspraxia groups and see how they may be able to help.

AnxiousMum

Thanks Happy - I've just gotten off the phone from the local jobcentre new claims line - the woman was very helpful, and has actually suggested he set up an appointment with them, brings me in with him, as they cannot understand him having been denied jsa to begin with, let alone the support etc. that goes along with being registered just for NI stamps.
She also suggested that the dyspraxia be brought up with evidence of diagnosis and help received so far as well - as this would have a bearing on what jobs he was referred to.

Thank youf or your useful post. I do understand that the answer had been given, I was merely responding to posters who were refering to my son as a scrounger

BritRael

AnxiousMum wrote: »

...I'm fully aware of what the problem is. He is being straight with me - where did I say he wasn't? I simply stated that I didn't have it straight whether he was on a gap or had ended his links with the university.....

You beat me to the answer

AnxiousMum wrote: »

...So, at the moment it's worse than being an unemployed young man with a good qualification looking for work (isn't the country full of those?), he has no qualification, has no work, and I'm stepping in to ensure that he now does what is best for him long term. It's pretty much a case of 'you've tried it your way, now try it mine'.....

100% agree. I didn't mean it would be easy to get a job; it isn't going to be. Simply that it's another asset when looking.
The post above looks like a good avenue to try.
Good luck to you both

C_Mababejive

Anxious mum...I must first apologise to some extent because i note that this is a "benefits" sub forum and as such,most would expect it to be a simple Ask question> get definitive answer type of thing. I had overlooked this and responded as if it were in the General discussion type forum. Having said that,we must all accept that if we pitch up on MSE seeking advice,we will inevitably receive a wide range of views and in there somewhere,lies the truth/good guidance.

All i can add is that your son is at an absolutely crucial stage in his life. A cross roads and if he takes the softly softly route,he is in danger of becoming dependant rather than independent. It is no wonder you are anxious and you have every right to be. You must continue to drive/encourage him to be independent and to continue to strive for success/achievement no matter what. Life is not easy and it is survival of the fittest.

AnxiousMum

You are so right - which is why there is no 'softly softly' approach.....it's now 'do it my way' as he's had the opportunity to show that he can go it alone, he has failed at it for various reasons as outlined above, and now it's my job as a parent, before 'releasing him out to the big grown up world' again, to guide him (okay, shove him, or send him there on the end of my foot) through the right channels to get his life in order. It really sucks big time, as he's the nicest kid, and has never ever caused a moments problems in terms of behaviour or anything like that. Apart from this work thing, anybody would be proud to have him for a son.

For what it's worth Mababejive - I often look at benefits threads and think along the lines of Discussion Time as well.....

He's had his chance with the softly softly approach, it's now time for the 'your mothers boot up your a*se' approach

healy

HappyMJ wrote: »

The answer has been given to you. He will not receive support until he has been actively claiming for 6 months. i.e actually receiving money.

Depending on the level of dyspraxia he has he would be much better off claiming disablity living allowance. He will get loads more support with his condition and finding an appropriate job to suit his needs. And he'll get that help straight away.

Or you could get him to have a chat with dyspraxia groups and see how they may be able to help.

He would receive support after 6 months even if he was only claiming for credits.

If he claims DLA he will not get support with his condition and finding an appropriate job to suit his needs. Maybe you were thinking of ESA?

AnxiousMum

His condition is nothing that a bit of forced structure wouldn't fix - it's his disorganisation and getting things from his brain onto paper that are the issues. So certain jobs would not, at this time, be suitable for him.
As an example, he could not be an emergency police call taker - getting information quickly from a caller, processing the information and then getting into print to get information up to the dispatcher to dispatch a unit in a hurry. By the time he processed the information and got it down on a keyboard the crime would long ago have been completed and the suspect well and truly gone.
However, there are many jobs he could do, where it is face to face, non 'urgent' transfer of information etc.
His nature is very well suited to social work type situations, but while he looks into courses he needs to be working - so if serving a burger is what he can get in the meantime, serving a burger he shall be doing.
I'd be quite happy if he didn't qualify for a penny in his pocket from JSA - but the help and support is crucial.

Indie_Kid

It is possible to get disabiility related support whilst on JSA. I did and one of the question I was asked was, "is there anything about your disability that would affect the type of job you can do?"

Because I said I could only work certain hours, I was also asked for evidene of this. The silly thing was, I was asked after I'd given them some documents that stated that I am registered as a disabled person.

Your son may also (if he wishes) to be put in touch with the disability employment adviser. (DEA)