Boyfriend taking steroids - im freaking out!

flossyblog

I personally feel that once the line has been crossed it's very difficult to go back.

It is calculated on his part - whichever way you cut it. People like this will resort to pointing out your shortcomings when they are challenged, and over time you will start to buy into it. You already feel guilty for being a smoker, he's clocked your weak spot.

Remember your own worth, don't let others compromise you. This is how people are undermined and slowly start losing themselves.

daska

You're thinking of starting a family with a guy who lies to you, bullies you and spends your (joint) money on steroids that could make him infertile and violent?

Perhaps you should rethink?

Pee

I think there are two different issues here.

One is that he lied to you about what he was doing. is this acceptable? You may decide that although lying isn't acceptable it would be if you were being unreasonable. The difference with your smoking is that you didn't lie about it. I have a friend whose husband did lie about his giving up smoking - in the end he did give up - and she knew that he was smoking and she would have been really silly in the stressful circumstances to have lost a really great marriage over 5 cigerettes a week he was finding it impossible to resist.

Is it unreasonable to expect someone to stop taking steroids?
I don't know enough about steroids to answer that one. Beware of people who say that they do as very rarely do people seem to have a completely scientific and sensible approach to the risks involved.

My ex did heroin. As a drug, heroin doesn't really affect your mood - it does in fact have certain positives - however it is expensive, hard and potentially dangerous to get hold of and becomes such a priority in your life that nothing else matters. The health risks are fairly minimal - he wasn't injecting - but when he really tried to stop he replaced it with heavy alcohol consumption which does affect your personality and has health implications and I decided there was no point me being with someone who was always drunk. Drunk to the point of being unable to hold a conversation or passing out when I got home of an evening.

I think one of the turning points for me was that he was unable to look after his dog and would have been completely unable to look after a child.

I hope you are able to find out some more information about them. Is he willing to talk to you about them?

**confuzzled**

http://www.ixion.demon.co.uk/anabolics.htm this website mentions the tablet form is more 'liver-toxic'. But from what I've found by googling, taking them in tablet form is the same as injecting them!!

Where has he got the steroids from?!?! It's an offence to supply a class C drug so I hope it is for 'personal use' only. I've foudn the below and I hope they help to tackle the drug problem.....and the trust element....it's something you'll have to work on together when/if he see's what he's doing is wrong(& stupid)
As for you Missy, quit smoking!:p You've done it before so you know you're strong enough and the sooner you quit the healthier you'll be when you do decide to start trying for a baby:)

http://www.drugscope.org.uk/resources/drugsearch/drugsearchpages/anabolicsteroids.htm

http://www.knowthescore.info/kts/791.html

http://www.talktofrank.com/drugs.aspx?id=170

alleycat`

oral steroids are incredibly harmful to the liver.
They are specifically designed to be metabolized twice (as the liver wants to destroy the steroid and thus would be no good if it was cleaned out first time around).
This is why most people who take steroids inject them.

You will probably also find the reason he stopped is that he had.

People who take steroids "cycle" every 8 to 12 weeks or so and don't use them for a period of time.

He is probably also taking various other things as well.

Something to offset erectile dysfunction (quite common side effect) and something to offset an estrogen build up (quite often causes what is known as b!tch t!ts).

It could also be (depending on his source) that all he is really taking is a sugar cube, rat poison or anything at all.

I'd assume there is some sort of underlying psychological side to this that makes him feel he needs to do this - possibly some sort of body dis-morphia?
Without tackling the why he needs to do this i doubt he'll stop - ala any addiction.

loulou123

Thank you all for the interesting points raised.

I tried the whole shock tactics route the 1st time around, including the "small" aspect and man boobs, but it obviously had little effect. Even had his personal trainer (who is also a friend) talk to him about it, as he is very anti steriods, but obviously even this done no good. In fairness to the BF he didnt realise 1st time round that they were as dangerous as they apparently are, but after all my info and that from his PT he has continued to take them anyway!

Flossyblog - whilst i understand entirely where you are coming from, i dont feel i have too much too fear here, as i have always been the kind of person to stand up for myself and will not let others make me undermine me. Yes i feel bad about smoking, but only because i realise myself how silly it is to start again.

Daska - thank you for your post, in fairness he doesnt bully me, and its definately his own money hes spending not mine (not that, that matters to much in the great scheme of things) but yes he has lied and the infertile/violence sometimes attributed to steroids does alarm me.

Pee - thank you for your points, but i didnt force him to give them up, so he had no reason to lie, sure i was not happy at all, but its not up to me to force him to stop. If he had no intention of doing so, he didnt need to lie.

Confused - i know where he has got them from and i know hes only got enough for personal use, but as for the person supplying him, who knows. The only reason i found out he was taking them in the 1st place, was on a trip to london in the summer, he freaked out about a bag search at the natural history muesum and then had to admit why he didnt want to go in! Which as bizarre ways to find something out go, is a pretty weird one! Also thanks for the links, havent looked at them properly yet, but will do later.

Alleycat - so as i suspected all along, the tablet forms are not as harmless as he tried to make out. Dont think hes taking anything else at the moment, they i dont rule it out. Am starting to notice a difference in the bedroom department, as intially he was urmm keener than usual, but recently less keen than ever! (sorry if thats too much info )

Think you could have a point about a mental trigger, as hes always been SO thin, (naturally not as a result of an eating problem) and despite going to gym and eating well, was not seeing any results. Now thanks to the steroids he has shot up in weight and i think that has almost become addictive.

alleycat`

Hi Loulou,

A little TMI on the bedroom front

In some regards he sounds similar to me ( i don't put on or hold weight easily even if i work out very hard).

Partly the reason i know about some of this stuff is i looked at it myself.

There is a lot of pressure on men as well as women when it comes to a "look" and i can sympathize with him to some degree.

However, knackering my liver to look a way i just wasn't built for didn't really make sense (as well as the possibility of paying quite a bit of money for a bag of sugar lumps).

loulou123

Alleycat - thank you for your honest post, can understand men getting tempted to take them, as you say party due to pressure to look a certain way, but, cant believe the possible damage to your body is worth the risk.

Part of me now thinks, that if i just let him carry on, then at least i know he is taking them if any health implications become apparent, i can get him help. But if i ask him to stop, and he continues anyways, then ill never know if hes still taking them or not. Hmmm.

foxy-roxy

There was a documentary on the tv once about a bloke who took steriods (in tablet form) to report on what happened and the way it changed him.
It was very interesting, he said he became more sexually agressive and moody etc etc, and they also did medical test to see the damage.
Am sure it was on channel 4, i'll have to google it and see if i can get you a link.

I know a few lads who take them and to be honest you can tell a mile of who does them, they look awful, little pin heads that look like you could pop them with a pin.
I don't know why they do it to themselves but it more than likely is to keep up with the image, just as some women starve themselves to be thin i suppose.

Lotus-eater

I've lived with a guy who was a very good friend and started taking oral steroids, he very definately became more moody and violent, it was the peer pressure from the gym and because everyone down there seemed to be using them.
It was only when he stopped going to the gym that he stopped taking them.
Building up your body and wanting to be bigger is very addictive.