Changing name by deed poll instead of getting married?

scottishchick27

I was in the same boat as you, my DD had my OH's surname and I wanted us all to be the same. It was too much hassle to get married for various reasons so I changed my name by deed poll using this company http://www.ukdp.co.uk/ They sent the form out to me and I just had to get someone to witness me signing it. My bank and the passport office accepted it. I don't refer to him as my husband and my title is Ms rather than Mrs as if we do eventually get married I wanted there to be at least one difference.

SuzyWuzy_2

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msb5262

Hello again OP,

I answered you very briefly before (post #2) but now have a minute to spare.
I'm not a pro-marriage fanatic...indeed, I'm divorced, but I thought you needed to consider the issue the other way around.

As posters above have said, you can do a very MSE wedding if you want a wedding, or you could do the legal bit and then save up for a party at a future date.

A close friend of mine was with her OH for ten years and they had two children. They wanted to put things on a sound footing in case they ever split up or in case she were to die young - although the children had their dad's name on their birth certificate, she was worried what would happen if there were to be some kind of emergency. They went to see a lawyer to get a document drawn up stating their partnership...and he advised them that it would be cheaper, easier and more straightforward just to get married.

They had a home-grown wedding, quick ceremony with family and close friends, lunch in a restaurant and came home to a home-made buffet and a party in the garden. Cheap and very, very cheerful - one of the nicest weddings I've ever attended.

Food for thought perhaps?

All the best whatever you decide to do

MsB

Penny_Watcher

The best wedding I ever went to (and I've been to some big country house doozies in my time) was a 'bring your own' do. Cheaply done, basic church wedding - yours will be cheaper at the Registry Office - and then a shared buffet and bring a bottle in a converted barn afterwards. The invites were along the lines of 'Please join us for our wedding. Instead of a present please bring a plate of food and a bottle of drink to share.' One of their mates ran a basic disco as a wedding gift.

The very best of luck with whatever you decide to do.

xmaslolly76

mouseymousey99 wrote: »

Just to say you can't just call yourself by another name, you do need to do it legally. If you want to change your bank account/driving licence etc etc they will ask for documentation. I'm with everyone else why not just get married? I think its much more romantic to have a wedding on a rainy weekday its really not about the frock! Best wishes...ps you may even save some tax if the 'other' lot get in next time.

Thats not strictly true yes you need documentation to open accounts and you will have to use your proper legal name on official documents. But generally day to day you are allowed to call yourself what ever you want as long as its not for fraudulant purposes. When i went to change the name on my bank account after being married they said they needed no documentation as long as they have my legal details the name on the account, cards and cheque books could appear as anything i wanted. my mom called herslf Joan for nearly 50yrs my dad never realised her legal name was actually Gertrude until he had a small problem with the death certificate.

springclean

hi, i have 2 responses. re name change, i reverted to my maiden name a little while ago, and while i was told that for most government offices i didn't need deed poll, because i could use my birth certificate and divorce certificate, most financial institutes don't accept that. so, for mortgage name changes/investments etc etc, i had to go the deed poll route. i did it online and it was very easy. you can also get a solicitor's quote for it too if you prefer to see someone.

now, re changing your name instead of marrying, can i just throw one other thought into the mix...?

if you change your name, will your OH think that is enough and you will never tie the knot officially? i ask because in my last relationship (of 10 yrs) i accepted a proposal but there were issues that needed dealing with, and i said yes so long as he took care of them. as the years rolled on, and he got comfortable within the relationship, i started to resent him calling me 'his missus', or giving his name as our name for even a table at the local pub, when he wasn't dealing with the issue that was causing us problems.

i decided then that for me to give my name away to a man, and to take his name as mine, he would have to earn that right.

Mrs7ones

Hi,
I did the deed poll thing too - it was just a case of a 10 min appointment with a solicitor and £25.
I had been married before, and OH wanted us to get married with all the family there, and it wasn't the right time financially for the wedding we wanted, plus I was preg with DD and just wanted to have the same name as his, so I got it changed (and started wearing a wedding ring!!).
We got married 3 years later when we could afford it....

Primrose

I'm thinking purely of the practical disadvantages of your not being married here, which have nothing to do with having the same name, as many professionally married women opt to keep their single surname.

What would happen to your and your children financially if your boyfriend were to die?

Has he made a Will in your favour? If not you could find that his parents and your children ended up in a legal fight for his assets. YOU would get nothing as you have no entitlement as a live-in partner.

Does he have a life insurance policy in which you are the named beneficiary in trust? If not, again, it could end up being a battle between his parents and the children as to who gets any benefits. YOU would get nothing - you have no legal relationship with him.

Does he have a pension fund in which you are the named beneficiary in the event of his death? If not, YOU would probably get nothing.

Unfortunately too many people living together assume they have legal rights and in the unfortunate event of one of them dying, the other can often be left high and dry, with no legal rights and financially destitute if other relatives of their dead partner insist on maintnaining the legal rights of inheritance. You might not even have the legal right to bury your boyfriend if he died, or to have any rights for your views to be made know if he was taken seriously ill and was on a life support machine in hospital.

Don't your two children deserve more security than this? Have a quiet wedding with no fuss or expense - just the basics. Far more satisfactory than just changing your name by deed poll which really achieves nothing in the way of legal protection for your children or yourself.