im so tired of it all sorry self pity thread

seven-day-weekend

My husband has had a great idea for a cheap holiday.....if you have a garden go camping in it with the children! They will love it and your hubby can help by bringing drinks and doing 'camping' food for you all. If you haven't got a tent, a sheet or blanket draped over the washing line will do, or you could look on Freecycle for one.

Hope this helps!

all_hours

kickingkay I don't know it these will be of any use to you.

There's a post about free pontin holidays in July. It looks as though places are running low.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=219148&page=8

This is a post about free 3D PaperArt From Canon that you can download.

http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.html?t=218819

Take a look at the freebies forum and the days out child forum http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.html?f=80 there'll be other ideas for what to do with the kids over the summer, or you could ask if anyone knows about events in your area.

Josie64

Hi, before I got married , I was a debt free single parent ( there's a moral in there somewhere!! .

We used to work our way around the local parks , feed the ducks, go to free museums, i used to buy I-spy books and we used to fill them in (which I've still got!), my son is now 18 and one of the things he has said since I got married , which really tugged at the heart was " we stopped playing games or doing things together anymore" , because you just get bogged down with day to day living and married life....

just re-read my post and remembered what another single parent friend of mine used to do , have a toy/video/clothes swapping party that way kids gets 'new' toys etc and you get a new friend to laugh/cry/moan about life with...

another thing we used to do for xmas/birthday presents was give my son an IOU for a day out at the cinema/ten pin bowling /day at the seaside/ dated for 12 mnths , then we had something to save for and my son had something to look forward to...

southernscouser

How about going through the loft if there's any old toy's up there or anything! I loved (and still do) getting all my old He-man and Thundercats stuff out!

And if there is stuff they no longer want (lets be honest, everything in the loft is no longer wanted ) get them to help you put it on ebay and let them have some of the proceeds, either to buy new toys (which you can later sell again) or to do something like go to the cinema!

Will also help with your tidy house, tidy mind philiosophy!

Marsie

How about a treasure hunt with the kids, hide some sweets in the garden and let them go off hunting - or clues to one 'prize'?

Where do you live and what clothes size are you? If you were close to me and I had anything suitable, I'd be happy to lend you an 'outfit' for the wedding.

M.

kickingkay

Marsie wrote:

How about a treasure hunt with the kids, hide some sweets in the garden and let them go off hunting - or clues to one 'prize'?

Where do you live and what clothes size are you? If you were close to me and I had anything suitable, I'd be happy to lend you an 'outfit' for the wedding.

M.

thankyou so much for the offer!
i managed to get 2 suits on ebay for 2.50 each! hopefully one will do and i can re sell the other im going to have a look at the pontins offer looks great!

Nenen

Hi and HUGS
I just wanted to say that I really agree with all the posters who have reassured you that being able to give kids loads of expensive things and take them on exotic holidays is really not necessary. I'd go so far as to say that it can be positively harmful to them if they never learn the value of anything! I can give two examples of what I mean:

Like you I felt awful when my kids were younger and after we ran up what appeared to be insurmountable debts we couldn't afford to give them things that many of their friends got. I felt even guiltier that it was my overspending had caused this situation in the first place, including going on a couple of very expensive holidays running up lots of credit. However, my kids are now 21 19 and 16 and the holidays they remember with the greatest pleasure are not the foreign ones that increased our debt but the ones we spent camping after the **** hit the financial fan!

Without wishing to sound boastful I know that my own kids have actually benefited from having to earn some money for themselves from an early age (they all started doing a paper round at 13 and then progressed to Saturday jobs in shops and/or waitressing etc). They know that my dh and I provide for all their basic NEEDS and then extras where we can but that they have to earn enough to get luxuries for themselves whilst still keeping up with school/college/university work. I used to feel really guilty about that until my oldest son went to university two years ago. Once again I felt so bad that I couldn't give him more (we are really struggling to pay his fees for him as of course when the local authorities look at parental income for assessment they do not take huge debts and mortgages into account) but he has to hold down a part-time job while he studies and get work in all the vacations. However, when I compare his great work ethic with many over-indulged kids he is mixing with I am so very proud of him!
For example, our son is at university with a young man of 23 who is currently failing his second degree course (despite being extremely clever and studying for four years at his parents' expense on his first degree course including repeating a year, he never did enough coursework to be able to even get a pass). His very rich and indulgent parents have been paying for the last two years of his current course and he has just been told his 2nd year exams are not good enough to go into the third year. So for the last 6 years they have paid his course fees, his rent and given him a generous allowance plus making him a named user of daddy's platinum credit card and yet this young man is still totally unable to get his act together and study and achieve something. He regularly goes out and buys things like plasma TVs on Daddy's credit card and yet my son says after the initial hour of setting it up he gets no pleasure from these things. My son however, when given a second hand computer was over the moon for days and continues to feel grateful he has it! The young man has travelled extensively but is always discontented, whereas my son is ecstatic to be offered a place on a university field research trip to Poland this summer staying in what can only be described as basic huts! He is even genuinely grateful that we have managed to save enough money so that our 21st birthday gift to him is going to be paying for the £160 worth of injections he needs to be able to go! He knows what a struggle it is for us to do this and that we have often gone without stuff ourselves in order to do it and consequently it means so much more to him that we've done so.

My other example comes from my experience as a teacher... after 18 years in the state sector I decided I'd had enough of the endless government interference and paperwork and got a job in an independent school. I really felt that I was 'selling out' and wouldn't be of any real use to children who had so much. I couldn't have been more wrong! Many (although not all of course) of the children I now teach (5-13 years) have so much and yet nothing at all! Often parents are so busy earning the money to pay school fees they have very little time for their kids or if they are very wealthy many parents are far too busy socialising to give any real time. Many kids who have several holidays a year spend most of their time with a succession of au pairs or nannies and have no sense of security. They are often rude, demanding and arrogant, believing the world owes them everything they want immediately without them ever having to wait or having to do anything to earn it... but of course these things rarely bring them any lasting happiness. I can honestly say that these 'privileged' children are often far less happy and content than children I worked with in a very poor part of London (or indeed extremely poor children in third world countries)!

They appear to have so much and yet are often sad and depressed. One private school I worked in took every child in the school to the beach for the day in a fleet of coaches... I couldn't understand why we needed to do that when they had all had so much experience of the beach, until we got there and I found out how many of them had never built a good ol' English sandcastle in their lives as you just can’t make sandcastles out of beautiful white Caribbean sand! To see their faces light up with joy as we dug, paddled, played and picnicked was incredible!

Sorry this is so long-winded but I really want you to know that you are teaching your children an extremely valuable lesson and I can almost guarantee they will be much nicer, more secure and happier adults for it!