im so tired of it all sorry self pity thread

kickingkay

MrT wrote:

Sorry I don't want to be cruel or anything but you have the internet and probably a telephone. Get rid of them and save the money. There must be other savings you can make as well.

I get really mad at people when interviewed on the television about poverty because they always come out with the fact that they haven't had a holiday in years. Homes, heating and eating come before anything.

Kids are very good if you explain things. Mine accepted that they couldn't have certain things just because their mates had them once we said we couldn't afford them. I have three very well balanced adult children now.

I hope you sort it out but think saving now and it could all work out if you really put your mind to it.

hi appreciate your reply but if i did get rid of teh internet i would never have been able to access this great site and teh things i have learnt have been invaluble! i wouldnt be sitting here ssaying thankyou to all those great people who took the tiem to make great suggestions

pounds_and_pensive

Maybe switching internet providers could save you some money, but I certainly wouldn't get rid of the internet either. For no additional cost, you can read an on-line newspaper every day, access TV listings, accumulate rewards from 'points' sites, pick up goodies from freebie sites, enter competitions (and win), browse what amounts to the biggest ever imaginable illustrated encyclopedia with answers to the most obscure questions, and in many instances save the price of a stamp or phone call by e-mailing instead. Given a bit of thought, internet access virtually pays for itself, and often shows a bit of profit too.

I don't know how old your kids are (sorry if you've mentioned it - late hour and short attention span here ) but a lot of popular kids programs have sites with printable activities such as colouring sheets or fun educational quizzes that might give yours something to do. Kids enjoy it even more if mum joins in and has a laugh too, and these are the times you'll all remember - nature takes the edge off memories of the harder times for us, which is why we swear blind through labour that we'll never do it again, then say the same thing when we're giving birth to another child eighteen months later

vee

Hi kicking kay , we also were with the cccs but our debt spiraled cos of a business going insolvent in the middle of it all. We had no guaranteed income for a long time (before we closed the place)- now we`re just waiting for word that our IVA proposals are accepted (50p in the pound offered).We ended up selling our house to pay them all off with lump sum payments, losing our home, losing our jobs and self worth - I`ll not go on but we also have 3 kids and I feel exactly like you sometimes so youre not on your own - its not easy to occupy 3 kids when you feel like this.Consider the IVA idea.My phone is starting to quieten down now and I also dealt with all the creditors - it can put an awful strain on any relationship - ask your other half to try to do more. I`ve told myself if we get out of this mess we`ll get out of anything.You`ve gotta be strong.Now I hope that made you feel a bit better

Warriorsith

I can understand the downside of debt I've been there, never used a company to help me out perhaps I should've but am getting there now.

Firstly your allowed your time to have some self pity, remember they may have taught you maths at school but I don't recall a lesson on how to look after your Personal Finances and there's a few million other people in the 'debt' situation who are in similar situations like yourself and you remember that too.

Secondly, your debt will take you 20 years to pay off in your current situation, who knows what great moments in your life are round the corner, your OH may get a better wage, you too, certainley as your 3 children get older and get their first jobs ensure you teach them bout finances and how to balance them, ie demostrate this by making them pay rent and paying towards the food bill, this will put them in good stead prior to leaving home and setting up their own (haha, I plan to do this when I have children.....it's only fair after all the years you look after them).

And finally, I'll add a few ideas to what to do with kids for free:

1. Take em on a picnic prior to going get them to help you make the sandwiches and stuff

2. Get old magazines, scissors, glue and A4 plain paper, get them to design the ideal home or bedroom this can take an hour or two to do and gives you more 1 to 1 with your kids.

3. Teach the Chores of the house, this will teach them good life skills and lesson the burden on you or OH.

4. Talk to them, and play Paper, Scissors, Rock. Or just play Noughts and Cross, or Hangman, Eye Spy.

Am not sure how old your children are but if they start making a fuss tell them who cares what the jones's are doing your the 'smiths' (as an example) and we do things differantly.

Hope things get better and best contact CCCS to temporarly reduce your payments, Health and Family before Money and Work. And as you say don't lose the internet that has many sites your kids can play on plus how would you get all this support and money saving tips if you weren't on here?

Toto

Kay I totally understand how you feel. I have 3 kids, my oldest is 16 in November and I have only ever taken him on 1 holiday (4 years ago). I feel bad that my kids haven't had a lot of things others have had, that part hurts the most. The thing that keeps me going every day is the image I put in my mind of one day seeing my kids having fun on holiday, that really keeps me focused and stops me spending a single penny more than I need to.

I am saving my tesco clubcard vouchers, which are worth 4x the amount in clubcard deals than in food. So during the school holidays I can take them for a couple of day trips free, to Chesington or Alton Towers. I save up all loose change in a jar, this is our day trip spending money. So far I have £27 in clubcard vouchers (£108 in deals)and £33 in my change jar. We won't spend anything like that amount because I will take lunches with us to have a picnic, so the rest will be saved for Christmas.

On the vouchers board there are often codes to put in to bump up your clubcard if you shop online. My goal will be to do this next year to be able to get a holiday..

I have come to realise though that my kids love the time I spend with them doing things, far more than some parents who never spend time with their kids and then just take them on an expensive holiday once a year. We do things like go strawberry and blackberry picking in the summer, then come home and the kids help me make jams (which they give as gifts, because they have made, they even decorate the jars with glass paints we pick up from boot sales and ebay).

Right now my kids are helping me clear out and decorate the house. They are loving it.

Kids don't need fancy holidays etc, they need time, attention, involvement and most of all your love, which no doubt they have in abundance. So, go easy on yourself and realise that they are happy, you just need to keep working on your goal so you can be happy too.

taplady

Klare you seem to have been offered lots of good ideas here for activities with your kids and hopefully you'll all have some fun this summer. This of course wont help you with your cash shortfall. Perhaps you should contact the CCCS again and explain the situation. You cant be expected to live on fresh air!

I hope things improve for you and I'll be thinking about you.
All the best

Floss

Have you checked out the local Council for Playschemes during the holidays?

And speak to CCCS - I'm sure you won't be the first to have to adjust things because of a difference between your expected & actual income.

Big hugs - and DON'T get rid of the internet!

kickingkay

thanks everyone!
i did ring the CCCS and explained taht at least this month i need to offer a reduced amount as oh wages were not as expected, also, i have explained that he will be looking into his actual salary as it hasnt been what was agreed in verbal contract
anyways i do feel a bit better thanks someone did mention to me earlier up the post get rid of phone and internet i would gladly get rid of my phone but my children need to be able to get hold of me and likewise and to be honest we have an icredible deal with ntl at the moment ive managed to get a 3 for 30 quid at 4 mb speed awith a £5.00 discount on top so i would be silly to get rid of it, i mean where would i have been without you guys!
i think i would have done myself in a runner or sold up not in that order lol! but with this forum and other internet help i have been able to stand up to creditors bullying and threatning me how many have that knowledge very few and this site keeps growing with others who stumble onto this site i know i did!
anyway waffling on a big thanks for the TESCO idea i collect vouchers i have 2 about 13 quid i think so will have to have a look at that one this is going to be a really really tight month so im just going to have to be ruthless!
i did a resonably big shop last week so im hoping to jsut spend 30 quid this week and next and next and the week after lol
ive got some money i made on ebay which i want to keep for emergancies only after all it takes 5 days to clear! and i have to keep selling!
anyone interested in a 30 something yr old man good clean a bit ruff round the edges and slightly miss shaped with age but a very good runner non the less any offers plz im me lmao!:rotfl:
only joking i just want everyone to know they will not grind me down thats my kids job
THANKYOU
Klare xxxx

seven-day-weekend

Kicking Kay, you know one day your children are going to look back and see a mum who cared enough to work hard to get the family out of debt, who cared enough to teach THEM the value of things so that they don't make the same mistakes, who shouldered the burden virtually on her own because she loved them enough to make the effort, who was able to teach them the value of doing simple things, who taught them what was REALLY important in life....

They won't care about not going abroad or not having designer clothes, they won't even think about it.

They'll just see a strong, resourceful mum who cared enough to make it good for them.

Does the mum described above sound like a crap person? Not to me, and more importantly, not to your children.

kickingkay

seven-day-weekend wrote:

Kicking Kay, you know one day your children are going to look back and see a mum who cared enough to work hard to get the family out of debt, who cared enough to teach THEM the value of things so that they don't make the same mistakes, who shouldered the burden virtually on her own because she loved them enough to make the effort, who was able to teach them the value of doing simple things, who taught them what was REALLY important in life....

They won't care about not going abroad or not having designer clothes, they won't even think about it.

They'll just see a strong, resourceful mum who cared enough to make it good for them.

Does the mum described above sound like a crap person? Not to me, and more importantly, not to your children.

wow i didnt look at it like that thanks can i keep you all the time
xxxx