Christmas Break Realisations???

koolkid

My company shut down over Christmas and it's made me realise I miss being home with my DD!

I only work 2 days so can't complain but it's not really the sort of job that you walk away from at 5pm. It actually really stresses me out- more so than I think I actually realised prior to Christmas. I daren't tell OH how I feel because he will write my resignation letter for me- not literally but he would suggest I quit and I don't think I've thought it through properly to do something so whimsical!

is it me or do you think it's just the january blues? x

MERFE

probably a bit of both, I lost a baby in november and had 3 weeks off work at the time, it made me realise how much I am missing out with the kids, partly because I'm too tired when I am here and because I'm not here in the evenings to help DD with homework. I have asked to reduce my hours so i'll be doing 2 days instead of 4 but it hasnt happened yet as they need to find someone to do my shifts. Keeping a foot in the door is always a good idea as when they are older you can increase your work and have a reference for if you look for a new job.

Greener_Grass

I think its normal personally. I've never spent more than an hour away from my son and he is one on monday If you can afford not to work then go for it, You never get this time back

bylromarha

Bless you - sounds a horrid feeling. Us mums feel dammed if we do and dammed if we don't.

I think you should ask yourself a few questions. Honestly try to answer for yourself - not asking you to post your responses, but think it will help you clarify your thinking and decide if it is January blues or not.

Can you realistically afford it? Are you willing to sacrifice the extras in life to make it happen?

When you were on full time mat leave, how did you feel at the end of it? Tearing your hair out or sad to return to work?

You said OH would write your resignation letter - That says to me he has noticed how much grief the job gives you or he would like you to stay at home, or both. Would it make for a calmer life for everyone if you did give up those 2 days?

Why not give yourself a fortnight or so to think about it all and decide in yourself to talk to your OH about it ASAP after that.

All the best.

katieclampet

bylromarha wrote: »

Bless you - sounds a horrid feeling. Us mums feel dammed if we do and dammed if we don't.

I think you should ask yourself a few questions. Honestly try to answer for yourself - not asking you to post your responses, but think it will help you clarify your thinking and decide if it is January blues or not.

Can you realistically afford it? Are you willing to sacrifice the extras in life to make it happen?

When you were on full time mat leave, how did you feel at the end of it? Tearing your hair out or sad to return to work?

You said OH would write your resignation letter - That says to me he has noticed how much grief the job gives you or he would like you to stay at home, or both. Would it make for a calmer life for everyone if you did give up those 2 days?

Why not give yourself a fortnight or so to think about it all and decide in yourself to talk to your OH about it ASAP after that.

All the best.

I think that about sums it up perfectly, that would certainly be the advice I would give you.

Could you think about working until say easter, than see how you feel?

katiex

claireac

I'm in the same boat, except I realised it a long time ago. Dd is 3.5 and I went back to work when she was 5 mths old. 3 days a weeks to start with, which was ok, then 4 days which wasn't. I now do 32hours over 5 days so that I can pick her up from play school on Monday and Friday.

I hate it, but I have a good job, generally a flexible boss, close to home and well paid. I can't afford to be a sahm.......and unfortunately I know it!!!

Other prob is that dh is a roofer and self employed so his money isn't regular (sparse is the word at the moment!!), so at least we always have mine regularly. It sucks!!!!

koolkid

Thanks guys... I woke up this mmorning thinking how pathetic everyone was going to say I was so it's lovely to see such lovely comments!

I had over a year off on maternity- the plan was I'd go back as a trial. It was perfect at first and I loved being back. In the past 3 months we have had new working practices and although I work 2/5 days I have 70% target compared to the rest of the team. I guess I just feel the pressure and I'm working on my non-working days.

We could afford for me to be a sahm with a trim here and there. I'm so so lucky that OH has a good job but to be honest I think I want a job too- just a different one. I know every job has it's stresses and the grass is sometimes greener but I can't cope with 11.30pm finishes preparing for 8am presentations 40 miles from home, or dealing with large caseloads of work.

A month or so ago I had a bit of a meltdown and OH said he knew I was unhappy but not to jump to anything. Thing is he's been working overseas this week and had a carp week himself so I don't want to talk about it with him yet until he's calmed down.

Ahhhhh being a mummy does strange things to you doesn't it!

Thanks again

pie81

koolkid wrote: »

It was perfect at first and I loved being back. In the past 3 months we have had new working practices and although I work 2/5 days I have 70% target compared to the rest of the team. I guess I just feel the pressure and I'm working on my non-working days.

It sounds as if the problem is not working in itself but the increased pressure from these "new working arrangements". I would say that the first step should not be resignation but rather speaking to your boss about the way your workload has crept up.

The original deal was that you would do 2 days out of 5 so 40% of full time (and presumably you are being paid at 40%) - you should not now be asked to achieve 70%.

It would make sense to speak to your boss about this and ask that your target be reduced to 40% to reflect your hours (and I presume pay).

Of course this may not work, they may say that you need to do 70% or nothing, but at least you will have tried it before giving up work altogether... which it does seem like you used to enjoy.

Primrose

I think every working person will understand how you feel. However, now is not really a good time economically to be giving up a job in the light of the deteriorating economy. How secure is your husband's job? Sometimes even a job that looks secure can suddenly and unexpectedly disappear.

Perhaps you can break your commitment down to only two or three months at a time, i.e. Say to yourself, I'll review my commitment again then and see how I feel. Has your job become increasingly stressful because of the economy? If so, things may improve in due course and you might then regret giving up a job which already allows you a fair degree of time off. It will not be easy to get on the job ladder again on a part time basis when your children are a little older so my advice would be to keep your misgivings to yourself for a while to avoid your husband pressurising you and try to stick it out. January is usually a HELL month for everybody. Things may seem a little better when the evenings get lighter and the temperature starts warming up. It's sometimes surprising how factors like this affect our psychological thinking.

And talk to your boss if you feel you're being asked to tackle an unfair workload. There may be other ways of arranging things if he regards you as a reliable employee he doesn't want to lose.

Pinky15

Hi Koolkid can completely understand where you are coming from I took a post 17 per week but end up doing another at least 5 at home and training etc. I am really fed up and we made a plan. We aim to pay off all our credit cards have redo our budget and in September I will leave till little one goes to school. Yes we will be skint but it wont be long and at least I can find a job with less childcare and less demanding etc. I know not all people can do this but if you can maybe its worth thinking about?

Caroline73_2

I walked out of a job I hated and my youngest was nearly two at the time. My husband was so supportive.

I started my own franchise and I have to earn X amount a month for the family budget but usually earn 3 or 4 times that (15 times that in November!!!!). But it's much better for us. I work from home but do go out for meetings and speak to others from the company, LO is now 4 and goes to nursery and I work around the children.

Maybe youcould try something like that. You'd be at home but would still earn something and get the adult company.