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Maintenance Arrangements - any one have experience?
Comments
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I am struggling to understand why you would go down this route.
What you are doing is trying to find a way to support him financially so that he doesn't have to increase his hours. Yet your youngest is 12yrs old, so it is reasonable to expect him to start thinking about increasing his hours anyway.
Once you stop work, you will be fully dependent on your OH. I know that you don't intend to return to work for the next 5 years, but things can change, and you may wish to return to work earlier. What if your OH is made redundant or becomes ill? What if the pregnancy doesn't go according to plan (heaven forbid, and I'm really sorry to even mention this).
As others have said, you cannot have a clean break from your children. It doesn't matter what lump sum you pay, you will remain liable for monthly payments under the CSA until your youngest finishes full-time education. As soon as you return to work, your ex can put in a new claim to the CSA
Maybe there are other ways for him to increase his income or lower his outgoings? Go interest only on his mortgage? Take a lodger? Do a decent day's work?I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.0 -
smileypigface wrote: »As long as the benefits side of thing can be squared away it looks like my final decision of whether to go down this route is going to boil down to how much I trust him not to claim from me in 5 years time when I return to work.
Mind you, in 5 years my youngest child will be 17 (from the date I'd be unpaid) - so there would be limited time this would affect me anyway - might be worth the risk!!0 -
Could you perhaps formally 'lend' him the money towards the house so that it has to be repaid to you by x date or on sale of the house - I'm sure that's possible but I don't have a clue what the correct term is, you'd have to take legal advice. That way he's got use of it which is worth x per month to him more than a nil maintenance assessment would be, but if he then goes down the CSA route you haven't paid twice.Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants - Michael Pollan
48 down, 22 to go
Low carb, low oxalate Primal + dairy
From size 24 to 16 and now stuck...0 -
All I can say is I sincerely hope your ex realises how understanding, responsible and generous you're being. Very best wishes with your new arrival.No reliance should be placed on the above.0
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I think you are being more than generous in ensuring that your children have a secure future. As you say if he went the CSA route he would get next to nothing for the next 5 years, as you will have no income. So the amount it would cost you for 1 17 year old (if still in full-time education) will be very little. So I still think my advice earlier, on the benefit front, is the best way forward.
That's assuming that the OP's 5 year plan doesn't suffer any little hiccough. If something didn't go to plan and she went back to work earlier then it wouldn't matter whether she had an agreement because the CSA don't recognise a clean break where children are concerned. The OP is, on the face of it, an ideal NRP but she still has a duty to her current family not to expose them to unnecessary risk.Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants - Michael Pollan
48 down, 22 to go
Low carb, low oxalate Primal + dairy
From size 24 to 16 and now stuck...0 -
I think i would explain the situation to him so he has notice and ask him to downsize his house, you getting your 25k back, then I would put it in a seperate account and still pay him maintaince, its ok to say he will have more money if he downsizes, but kids are expensive to keep, id rather have the money on a regular basis so i know whats coming in and can plan for the kids. Otherwise you could be leaving your kids in poverty then you will feel guilty and try help out, therefore being even more out of pocket. The kids are getting older and understand your contributing to their daily lives, I wouldnt stop as they may resent you for it. That way it wont affect any of his benefits.0
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But if he sells up and downsizes, and in the process loses £25k from the equity, is he going to get a big enough mortgage to house the family on his part-time wage - and is he going to be worse off financially in the process? Perhaps a way forward would be to fraw up an agreement that he can move the £25k to the next house, on the proviso that when the youngest reaches 18 it must be repaid in accordance with the original court order.
That way he can downsize and get a more manageable mortgage, but when the youngest leaves school there will be money in the pot to help her through university and OP can decide what to do with the rest at that point. She may need the money by then, but if not, and she wishes to be generous, she can still agree to take a smaller sum - but I certainly wouldn't commit myself at the moment, with a new baby on the way.I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.0 -
Now to tackle the bee in my bonnet! If the OP had been a man whose partner was expecting a child and the ex was a woman who had been looking after the children as parent with care for the last 10 years would some of the judgements made here have been as harsh?? Doubt it!
I think the situation is different because (the impression that I got from the OP) is that the ex is not working part time because he is a stay at home dad (with the youngest child being 12 surely that would not be necessary) but because he doesn't want to work full time.
Neither do I, do you think my ex will support me to be a lady of leisure?
I think it's great that the OP is doing the best by her children & trying to do the best by her ex but why can't he get a full time job if he wants to continue to live in a big house?Wedding 5th September 20150 -
If OP had been a man who stopped working for whatever reason, his liability under CSA would be adjusted accordingly. It is not the fact that there is another child, but that OP as the absent parent will no longer have an income because she is going to stop work to look after her new family.
She is doing her best to provide for her other children and her former husband, but really most single parent women are expected to go back to work when the youngest reaches 12yrs.I'm a retired employment solicitor. Hopefully some of my comments might be useful, but they are only my opinion and not intended as legal advice.0 -
And I agree with the point that he could easily go out and find work.
However I have read many threads on this forum about marriage breakdown where the OP has been a woman who has been at home with the children and not built a career as part of a family arrangement (as sounds the case here with the OP and her ex), and the advice has been sympathetic, telling her to make sure she has her share of pensions, equity etc without suggesting she gets off her bum and starts looking for work.
Anyway, a side issue as the OP here is doing more than she needs to for her ex and children.No reliance should be placed on the above.0
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