depression

Inc0gnit0

Tiff wrote:

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Now don't jump down my throat angel, but you've got it all wrong! I looked back over the posts too cc, and 9 people wished everyone on the thread Happy New Year on the day, 3 people named you specifically and yesterday, I mentioned you specifically on p338, letting you know how much you are appreciated and wishing you well.
It wasn't cliquey at all - the people posting were the only ones online. Everyone else was doing their own thing. You can't get upset just because you weren't online hun. Maybe people didn't post because they knew you were offline but throughout the day, you were sent many warm wishes and you also sent them yourself.
We've probably all had that experience with electricity hun and you're right, it is awful. Just because there was heat and light in people's homes, it doesn't mean that they have it in their hearts - and to me that is worse. Heat and light can not be compared to what's going on in people's hearts! There were a lot of people who weren't specifically mentioned cc - not just you, so don't take it so personally hun.


CC hun, this is what I meant when I said to you in my message to stay calm. I can understand you must have felt very low with the weather and your bad cold hun, not to mention the New Year blues - I am sorry you feel so angry and so low. I really hope you're feeling better. I hope these are the reasons that you're posting so angrily to people who don't merit it. I'm hoping you just needed a good rant which everyone is entitled to;) , but then you go on to repeat your angry feelings.

I do care about you - and everyone - on this thread hun. But I think you're wrong in this instance cc - a little bit of over-reacting with regards to people not caring about you.:o Personally, it wasn't nice to read your comments - quite hurtful in fact. I'm not being nasty to you angel, in any way, just honestly replying to a post that I felt was undeserved. Hun, you do have things to be grateful for and you've got great plans for 2007 and people do care about you. We're always here for you. It's not about how many people mention your name in posts here hun. It's quality and not quantity as the saying goes. I hope you won't stay away from the thread - we're all the same people we were 72 hours ago.

I was alone again for another New Year's Eve, part of the status quo for me , with my DS. I've had no parties or invitations to any. I wanted my phone to ring as it always did, with my Dad wishing me Happy New Year - even though he usually got me out of bed to answer it! - but he's gone and he can't phone me and I missed him so much.

I don't have many options as far as making plans for 2007 because of one thing and another - health, finances etc. There's no-one for me to fight with, take me anywhere or go out to dinner with.
And sometimes cc, I break my heart crying because I feel like the loneliest soul in the world.
I do try and give my honest heartfelt best to everyone on here and, no matter what I'm going through, I try be gracious and not have a go at anyone. My name wasn't mentioned much either that night on the board - a lot of people's names weren't. My name isn't mentioned much anywhere really:o :rolleyes: Do you know what it's like to be that lonely? Don't forget either, that we all have mental ill health issues too and may not have been well enough to post. Sometimes I wish I was in any kind of relationship - even an up and down one! - just so I'd have someone.
I'm sorry if this post offends you angel - it wasn't meant to but I felt I just had to repond to what you were saying. Apologies to you and to the others for my long post and for any upset caused.
So cc hun - please take a step backwards and take another look at the whole picture. You're not so badly off angel - there's people hurting worse than us but yes, our pain is important too. Let go of all that anger hun - you deserve better than that.
Hold your head up girl and start the New Year that you have planned, with a generous spirit and a hopeful heart.
Sorry everyone.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

I'm sorry you felt neglected CC.. it certainly wasn't intentional... not on anyone's part but specifically not on mine. When I could wrestle the laptop away from whoever else was using it I was having to sneak on to post when a certain person wasn't looking. I'm sorry if I caused hurt or offence.

and Tiffy... I'm so sorry.... I had no idea how things were for you.. because we don't see much of you I tend to assume you have a pretty full life. I feel as tho I've been really selfish now and again I am truly sorry.

You both are extremely important people for all of us and the fact that maybe I've played a part in either one of you feeling worse, even for a second that makes me feel really sh1tty.

I was thinking its a pity we all live so far apart, if we were nearer we could have all got together and had a wicked new year's eve. As it is I thinkk a fair few of us (me included) had a pretty miserable time of it and we all felt quite isolated.

However.. we now have a new year ahead of us and I think all we can do is hope that it'll be better than the last.. even in some small tiny way... and we'll continue to drag each other along as we always do.

Big huggs for everyone

Sazbo

Hiya coggi hun :hello: Hi everyone :hello:

Poor Saz back at work... :rolleyes: :sad: What a shock to the system that was this morning! Bit of a tired Sazzy! Only now getting caught up with stuff. Hope today finds you all well.

CC hun - did you manage to get some sleep in the end? Hope you're feeling better. I honestly don't think anyone here would mean to ignore your post. You're such a valued member of our little family here. I guess New Year's Eve is a fraught time and people get caught up in other things - be they thoughts or tasks, y'know? But either way I'm sure it wasn't deliberate on anyone's part. Please stay with the thread - we'd really miss your wisdom and your priceless humour:) Take good care and please post soon. Sazxx

Tiffy - the only reason I don't like to mention your name too often is in case I forget to lock the catflap one night and you decide to come and give me a Tiffy karate chop for being too cheeky!:D I know ya got a black belt in oregano hun - I can't be too careful! But anyway I've been hoarding all the blue smarties :whistle: just like you said (don't tell Miro! :shhh: ), so pretty soon i'll be able to flog 'em on Ebay and we can go for a slap-up meal on the proceeds ok?:D Sazzy and Tiffy out on the town - watch out world!! :dance:

Speaking of which - Coggi, that's a good idea you had. We should have a big get-together. I'll hire a bus and the go rounding everyone up. In fact that was Gilly's idea originally, so I'd better let him drive!:D

Any hoo... Best get back to pretending to do some work. I'll catch up with you all laters. Have a good day everyone. Much love, Sazzy xxx

Miroslav

Does anybody know much about Quetiapine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quetiapine

I found a prescription for this in 'S' flat and it seems to be for schizophrenia - she's never admitted it to me or flatmate before - it's not a problem for me, but the confirmation of what it is, has just surprised me a little, although I had an inkling, as well as others here, that she may be schizophrenic.

Hope everyone is well, sorry i'm not replying to much right now, my head is full of things I am struggling with.

kronas

one thing i have learned is never show that you have a mental illness, things DO change, the way people treat you, its actually quite angering when supposed freinds quickly treat you as if your an alien all of a sudden, maybe thats why people keep it within themselves because it really is one of the most annoying things a person can do, people with mental illnesses are still human beings, they can still do things everyone else does, its all about how it affects you, sometimes its mood, other times it can be tempremant problems....

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

Does anybody know much about Quetiapine

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quetiapine

I found a prescription for this in 'S' flat and it seems to be for schizophrenia - she's never admitted it to me or flatmate before - it's not a problem for me, but the confirmation of what it is, has just surprised me a little, although I had an inkling, as well as others here, that she may be schizophrenic.

Hope everyone is well, sorry i'm not replying to much right now, my head is full of things I am struggling with.

Hiya hun. Can't help much with that I'm afraid - not something I know about. But don't struggle too much - you know that's what we're here for, ok? Much love, Sazxx

Miroslav

kronas wrote:

one thing i have learned is never show that you have a mental illness, things DO change, the way people treat you, its actually quite angering when supposed freinds quickly treat you as if your an alien all of a sudden, maybe thats why people keep it within themselves because it really is one of the most annoying things a person can do, people with mental illnesses are still human beings, they can still do things everyone else does, its all about how it affects you, sometimes its mood, other times it can be tempremant problems....

For sure people do change their attitudes towards you (notably doctor's who never believe you have physcial problems!), alot do.

Sadly, the girl I love, and who has feelings for me too, doesn't believe I want her because of her mental illness. So many people have told her she'll never be loved because of it, and she now believes it.

The world can be very cruel

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Hiya hun. Can't help much with that I'm afraid - not something I know about. But don't struggle too much - you know that's what we're here for, ok? Much love, Sazxx

I'm trying to be here and type, I just don't know what else to say, as I keep posting the same tripe over and over again.

I've been reflecting - even I know she's fond of me, but she doesn't believe me that I am fond of her

I need her to be open with me, and when she has told me all her fears, I can respond positively and show/prove I love her, problems and all

Sazbo

kronas wrote:

one thing i have learned is never show that you have a mental illness, things DO change, the way people treat you, its actually quite angering when supposed freinds quickly treat you as if your an alien all of a sudden, maybe thats why people keep it within themselves because it really is one of the most annoying things a person can do, people with mental illnesses are still human beings, they can still do things everyone else does, its all about how it affects you, sometimes its mood, other times it can be tempremant problems....

Hi kronas and thanks for posting. I guess I've been pretty fortunate in that I have been able to be open about my mental health issues and people - at least, those people whose opinion I value - have all been very accepting and supportive. Have to say I'd find it really hard to have to pretend I was something, or someone, that I'm not. But I have every sympathy for people for whom that is not the case. The more mental health issues are out in the open, the sooner it will be free of stigma... like so many other stigmatised aspects of our society.

kronas

Miroslav wrote:

For sure people do change their attitudes towards you (notably doctor's who never believe you have physcial problems!), alot do.

i have been pretty lucky that i have not had the experiance of NOT being treated for physical problems, medical histories can often be riddled with innacurracies by GP's physicians, psychiatrists who do 'get it wrong'

Miroslav wrote:

Sadly, the girl I love, and who has feelings for me too, doesn't believe I want her because of her mental illness. So many people have told her she'll never be loved because of it, and she now believes it.

The world can be very cruel

i feel for both of you, girls have said to me previously that i am 'wierd' but they are not even in my league of understanding, everyone is diffarent from each other its just finding the right people to mix with to bring out the best in you.

i know how she feels because im in pretty much a simaler position, im a guy who cant get a girl, for some reason or another they are not attracted to me, even though i dont show my illness ofcourse it bothers me, people my age have had many girlfreinds, but it doesent happen for me, but its not the end of the world if you cant, if you have got it cherish it and show her you will support her, dont pressure just take time and be gentle with her, if your not loved you eventually believe you never will be....

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

I'm trying to be here and type, I just don't know what else to say, as I keep posting the same tripe over and over again.

I've been reflecting - even I know she's fond of me, but she doesn't believe me that I am fond of her

I need her to be open with me, and when she has told me all her fears, I can respond positively and show/prove I love her, problems and all

I would imagine that S very much wants to be open with you. But don't forget she, like you, has been hurt a lot in the past and is wary of being hurt again, so it will take time to gain her trust - even though you know and we know that your intentions are honourable. She will need to work through that process on her own timetable, whatever that is, and as undoubtedly frustrating as that is for you... big hugs sxxx