depression

Miroslav

blinky wrote:

Don't make any rash decisions. Tell her how you feel - including the fact that she only talks about herself. I think she may do it to help her own insecurities.

:eek: She'd go nuts on me, just because she doesn't see it.

I told her I was disappointed about today, she didn't respond as usual. She only responds to positive things. Anything negative and she moans and moans, and that's from anyone. You have to kiss her behind to get any response

She is majorly insecure. Last Thursday she wished a shop girl Merry Xmas, and she was asking me afterwards if it was the right thing to do.

I know it's nothing personal that she offends/upsets/disrespects me, but that doesn't help this old heart of mine.

I'm actually not usually this over sensitive, but i've let her beneath my barriers and she gets me every time.

She is selfish, but not nastily. She's just been on her own far too long, and has got used to looking out for just her.

Oh well, see what happens tomorrow!

Miroslav

Well, i've just had a brief chat with my flatmate, who thinks 'S', un-nastily, is leaning towards me more than her now, because I massage her ego and buy her presents all the time.......which I agree with.......not expensive, just like £2 gestures etc etc, although I do pay for our times out and lend her money, but as flatmate agrees with me, she doesn't do it horribly, she just likes attention as she never gets it unless it's from a guy who wants things in return for his investment, if you know what I mean, but she hasn't been fooled by a bloke for quite a while............2 years I think she said.

I just..........like her

Anyway, enough of my poo for Christmas Day.........what did people get today?

Socks, Calendar with pics of my cats, footie scarf, Nivea shaving set, a wallet, 2 mugs (1 Britney mug through photobox, with Princess Britney written on it, another mug was a snowman mug) and 2 CD's - greatest hits of Blur and Pulp.

Very happy, as I don't expect anything, and i'm easily pleased.

Won't get 'S' present until tomorrow at earliest now. I was really looking forward to giving her my presents today So much so, I suddenly realised last night, that I was receiving presents too

Anyway, enough of my gump on Christmas Day, sorry for the depressing post!

Merry Christmas Everyone - From Miro and Shakin' Stevens!

Inc0gnit0

*sighs*

Im glad it's over bar the washing up.. I'm waiting for someone to offer to do it.. it's all soaking in the sink - only has to be put in the dishwasher.. no mucky trays or anything to do.. just plates n glasses..

Had to spend a lot of time with my back to people today cos I kept tearing up.. the promise I had had from my daughter to cook dinner today of course didn't happen so I ended up doing it all myself, which left me feeling very disappointed and upset.. even tho I knew she wouldn't do it; had a phonecall from you know who this evening which started off ok and ended with me hanging up on him I just feel so isolated and alone.. I miss the snuggles and cuddles n things like that.. while he's off partying with his mates and calling me to make sure i know it :mad:

All in all..... Thank F*kk it's over!!!!!

Inc0gnit0

blinky wrote:

Big hugs to everyone

Good to see you blinky.. those hugs are much needed

Inc0gnit0

Tiff wrote:

Hi guys!:wave:
I just wanted to wish you all every happiness and peace in your hearts, if only for one day. Couldn't resist coming on and checking in with my adopted family. You are all very special, thank you so much for all you do.:T
And for anyone finding today hard, it's nearly passed - do whatever it takes to get yourself through and find a little slice of happiness. I know our problems don't go away just because it's Christmas - if anything, it can sometimes make things feel worse. So guys, be kind to yourselves. I'm thinking of you all. Bless you all.:grouphug:
Much Love,
Tiff xxx
PS - Go easy on the dizzy water!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

HaPPy BiRThDaY TiFFy!!!! xxxxx

Tiff_2

Inc0gnit0 wrote:

I don't think I've ever felt so alone.. and yet somehow I think if I had more people around, it would somehow emphasise my alone-ness....

Hi Incognito,
Hun, you're not alone - you're lonely. I know we're no substitution but we care. Take some time out angel and try and deliberately stop the thinking process. Easier said than done I know. Just get through each hour as you want it to be, as best as you can. We're very emotional when we're poorly at the best of times and sometimes, it feels like Christmas and the New Year holidays have been deliberately created just to rub it in. Christmas makes us lower sometimes because we want that chocolate box image and it doesn't seem to exist hun. There's no-one out there with a perfect life. BUT it can be as good as we want it to be. You are your own precious gift.;)

But, just for you , I'll play the Grinch to everyone else in your world...:D
-May none of the clothes you get, fit you!
-May all the call centres be on overtime and only have your number!
-May you all get as round as the brussel sprouts I'm going to feed you!
-May you all spend many hours in the bathroom as a result of the above!
-And may you all walk a hundred miles in my shoes!

Really goes against the grain with me being the Tiff Grinch!:rolleyes: I'm not making light of what you're going through hun. But you've got through worse than today or tomorrow and survived and you can do it again! I wish I could be more helpful angel and I hope I didn't sound as though I was preaching - sorry if I did. Look after yourself hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi miro!

Miroslav wrote:

Merry Christmas All
And to you too hun.
Happy Birthday Tiff

Thanks Miro. And thanks to everyone for their lovely Christmas and birthday wishes. Extra smarties for all!:D
42! :eek: I've probably got the same number of inches around my waist and wrinkles in my skin! Tiff's get nine lives - can I start my second one now please?!


I don't think she's deliberately being ungrateful hun. Sometimes we agree to things not to offend someone but, from personal experience, when that day comes, sometimes it's too hard to face. When my agrophobia was at it's worst, I'd get into a terrible state not wanting to let anyone down and wanting to be 'normal' but not being able to do it. She's probably just trying to negotiate all she can manage health-wise hun. And as we all know here, our mental health can fluctuate rapidly. And I know that's no consolation to you angel. I know how much you were looking forward to having her over.

Hun, this is what it can be like with someone who has mental ill health. We're all at our own unique stages and maybe as I've said, this is part of her right now. Maybe she can't - even though she wants to - live up to what you'd like from her, whatever that may be. And I'm not talking about the sexual side of things either. I hope that you can enjoy the rest of the holiday hun. Thinking of you.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Inc0gnit0

flippin eck!!! just gone down to the kitchen and it looks like we've been burgled!!!!!!!

the curtains are torn.. glassses broken on the floor.. dirty dishes everywhere.. !!!!!!!! :mad:

Tiff_2

elona wrote:

Tiff

You have done so well and I am proud of you!
:T :A

Incognito

You sound really down. Could you do anything that might help you feel less drained? How about a hot bubbly bath and then a bit of a snooze or maybe cuddle up warm with a good book - or even a bad one.

Hi Elona!:hello:
Thank you for your kind words hun. I hope the holidays are being good to you.;)
I agree with you elona. Always here with your sound advice.:T Take care angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi miro!:hello:
Oh miro - sending you virtual hugs angel. :grouphug: I agree - I don't think it's deliberate hun. Sorry it's made you low. You seem to have a big heart but when we get involved with someone who is so very ill, there are likely to be hard times angel.
You also have to think about your own mental health miro as I've said before - if you're going through such a hard time now at the beginning, then can you guarantee it'll improve later before you get more deeply involved? There again, that applies to a lot of relationships, but you've already got some odds against you with s. Still, we can't help who we care for sometimes. Why not follow up on some of the other young ladies that have declared an interest in you? That doesn't mean you can't be a friend to s. However, sometimes it's better to have a clean break if it will confuse things in the future.
You've come so far in recent weeks hun, (proud of you!:T )making plans and all, but you can't tailor your whole life around someone else. Be sure to live your life true to yourself hun, without having to suffer too much and if s is The One, she'll slot right in.;)

Anyway, enough of my poo for Christmas Day.........what did people get today? Socks, Calendar with pics of my cats, footie scarf, Nivea shaving set, a wallet, 2 mugs (1 Britney mug through photobox, with Princess Britney written on it, another mug was a snowman mug) and 2 CD's - greatest hits of Blur and Pulp.

You had some nice gifts miro!:j
Don't worry about the person who sent you a Britney mug hun - how could anyone be so cruel?! Don't you worry hun - Tiff'll get 'em for doing that to you!:D

Very happy, as I don't expect anything, and i'm easily pleased.
Won't get 'S' present until tomorrow at earliest now. I was really looking forward to giving her my presents today So much so, I suddenly realised last night, that I was receiving presents too
Anyway, enough of my gump on Christmas Day, sorry for the depressing post! Merry Christmas Everyone - From Miro and Shakin' Stevens!

No apologies allowed on this thread from anyone for posting how you feel - I just decided!;) I hope the rest of your day went better hun and that the rest of Boxing Day doesn't find you - or anyone else - doing any actual boxing!:rolleyes: Just take things easy for now hun and relax - Tiff's orders!;)
Much Love,
Tiff xxx