depression

Horasio

I feel so betrayed. I spend years building that savings account for him.

I am trying to do the best for him and the sticks two fingers up at us like this. £2000 has gone now, so by the time he graduates, if he does. He scraped through this year he will have no house deposit.

Don't have kids and don't get married!!

feelinggood_2

CCstar, this is an awful situation for you to be in, but you are making moves to get out - focus on that. Try to keep a clear head and ignore all the negatives. I know its hard, when you've decided that you want out, you want to go straight away - I know. But, we've got to wait till the right time.
Oh, and you should consider getting a house down my way, I could do with somewhere to lodge
You are a strong woman, you can get through this. You are not the bad guy.
And you are not alone, you have me

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

I feel so betrayed. I spend years building that savings account for him.

I am trying to do the best for him and the sticks two fingers up at us like this. £2000 has gone now, so by the time he graduates, if he does. He scraped through this year he will have no house deposit.

Don't have kids and don't get married!!

I can't understand some people, they just don't understand money or its value.
Don't give him anything more. He is an adult, he can look after himself. If he wants to throw away everything - let him. Focus on YOU.

Horasio

That food is wasted now - I won't be able to eat it.

I can't eat when I am upset. My husband's table manners are vile too. I have to eat alone to enjoy it.

My son didn't even thank us or show any gratitude for Thursday, only what he didn't like.

My spineless husband never disciplines him and when I do I am undermined. I blame him entirely, he is a rubbish husband and a more rubbish father!

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

I can't understand some people, they just don't understand money or its value.
Don't give him anything more. He is an adult, he can look after himself. If he wants to throw away everything - let him. Focus on YOU.

Adult, thats a bloody joke

18 year old boys are not adult, they are worse than toddlers for sense. You are a year older and I feel I am talking to a person my age. I was the same at your age.

Please

Don't be like me today.

If your husband makes you a fraction unhappy, don't have his kids and don't wait 25 years and end up like me.

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

That food is wasted now - I won't be able to eat it.

I can't eat when I am upset. My husband's table manners are vile too. I have to eat alone to enjoy it.

My son didn't even thank us or show any gratitude for Thursday, only what he didn't like.

My spineless husband never disciplines him and when I do I am undermined. I blame him entirely, he is a rubbish husband and a more rubbish father!

Can you stick the food in the freezer? I know you probably feel like binning it, but if it can go in the freezer, you might as well, maybe you could have it when you feel better?

Nothing has ever made me loose my appetite, well one person has, but thats another story. Part of me wishes I could get the depression where you loose your appetite and loose weight, I just end up comfort eating.

If your son doesn't show any gratitude, don't do anything for him. Hopefully it won't be too long before you can sell the house, and you can start to do things for yourself - you can start to make yourself happy.

I'm sorry that he is such a rubbish husband and such a rubbish father - that isn't nice at all. I know what you mean about table manners! I'm not overly posh or anything, but there are somethings you just don't do. I get very embarassed at xmas and when we have family meals with OH - and no matter how much I tell him, he doesn't learn. Sometimes eating with him makes me feel sick.

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

Adult, thats a bloody joke

18 year old boys are not adult, they are worse than toddlers for sense. You are a year older and I feel I am talking to a person my age. I was the same at your age.

Please

Don't be like me today.

If your husband makes you a fraction unhappy, don't have his kids and don't wait 25 years and end up like me.

He is supposed to be an adult. he, and your husband, need to grow up and fast.
From this moment on, you are going to be the only person you think about okay? Do what you want to do, take care of yourself. If they make you unhappy, ignore them. Don't do anything for them. Focus on you, get your life sorted. Ok?
Thanks to you, I've realised what I need to do - and I very much appreciate it. We are both going to be stronger, happier, healthier and way better off soon. We are strong women and we will get thru this!

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

CCstar, this is an awful situation for you to be in, but you are making moves to get out - focus on that. Try to keep a clear head and ignore all the negatives. I know its hard, when you've decided that you want out, you want to go straight away - I know. But, we've got to wait till the right time.
Oh, and you should consider getting a house down my way, I could do with somewhere to lodge
You are a strong woman, you can get through this. You are not the bad guy.
And you are not alone, you have me

Thank you

When I calm down, I will do that.

I am packing, then intending to put the house up for sale. Then I can think about where I can live. If you can recommend areas and agents, it would be a help.

My husband is really upset too but I do think he has contributed by not backing me or disciplining him. My mother was really strict with me but soft as putty with our son, and this is his payback.

I can't get hold of her as I want her opinion and advice. She is giving him his allowance money, as we have gone down in pay, to help out but he's dipping into his savings as well. I felt she undermined me when he was young and we lived near her. she did a lot of babysitting and gave practical help but she spoilt him.

I want to relocate but being too near her will put me back into being her slave and I need her money for a deposit (I will put in the other half) but I always pay with my soul for any help from her!

Why can't family be nice?

Horasio

feelinggood wrote:

He is supposed to be an adult. he, and your husband, need to grow up and fast.
From this moment on, you are going to be the only person you think about okay? Do what you want to do, take care of yourself. If they make you unhappy, ignore them. Don't do anything for them. Focus on you, get your life sorted. Ok?
Thanks to you, I've realised what I need to do - and I very much appreciate it. We are both going to be stronger, happier, healthier and way better off soon. We are strong women and we will get thru this!

I wish I had known someone like you when I was your age.

If I can save one person from making a hash of their lives, I will feel happy. We can all marry and think it will be nice to get away from our families but we don't really know a man till we live with them, and I have yet to meet one man that is worthy. (the males on here seem to know how to treat people - so not included in that statement)

I need to calm down tho' and work out how to get thro today. My husband is out doing the shopping and we need to be united in how to cope with this, not row!

feelinggood_2

CCStar wrote:

Thank you

When I calm down, I will do that.

I am packing, then intending to put the house up for sale. Then I can think about where I can live. If you can recommend areas and agents, it would be a help.

My husband is really upset too but I do think he has contributed by not backing me or disciplining him. My mother was really strict with me but soft as putty with our son, and this is his payback.

I can't get hold of her as I want her opinion and advice. She is giving him his allowance money, as we have gone down in pay, to help out but he's dipping into his savings as well. I felt she undermined me when he was young and we lived near her. she did a lot of babysitting and gave practical help but she spoilt him.

I want to relocate but being too near her will put me back into being her slave and I need her money for a deposit (I will put in the other half) but I always pay with my soul for any help from her!

Why can't family be nice?

Do you really need her for the deposit? Is there anyway you could not take her money? I've got to start looking at my options for housing once I find out about the IB.
Where does she live? How far do you want to be from her? Its good that you are aware of what things would be like if you went near her - you can avoid it if you know. Whereabouts down here do you want to go?
Its not nice when people won't listen to you, sounds like you are having to fight everyone at the moment? Remember to take some time out, have a long soak in the bath or something - have some 'me' time.