depression

Miroslav

rose07 wrote:

Here you go miro wote yours on the weekend took ages to read back, lol

Hi Miroslav, ok for once im going to go on about ‘S’. hope ya don’t mind? I have been reading back on the posts (yes every last one), and I have seen your progress with ‘S’, you have had some rough times together miro. On page 107 you keeping out of her way not wanting to see her, scared of bumping into her. The best you can do is keep spending time together. You say that she is slow, lol. That’s me, takes me a while to click onto things too. But just let her head have the thinking time and it will be ok, or if she looks confused explain it to her and then she can join in.
WOW miro how did the recording session go? That all sounds pretty cool. Shame ‘S’ didn’t or couldn’t go, she sounds like she woulda liked it. How many sessions are left, are ya going to let us hear it? (and yeah I am a bit of a lyrical thing, I have made tunes too, lol, I would be very interested in hearing any tunes you have done.)
And on page 114 you were waiting, wondering if she would call, wondering how she was and if she was ok, it is clear she is etched into your brain hun and that you are hurting and I understand this. Its hard aint it? When we feel soo much love for someone, we adore who they are, we look past the bad points, see the good in them, want to be there for them, and be the one they come to when in times of need.
Page 122, that wasn’t a very good page, you feeling very low, you hurting. You don’t know whether to give up on it all and save yourself the pain or to carry on and keep going, but you are still wanting to be with her and you are still going, Miro if we didn’t have people around us offering support and being there, where would we be, as long as you show ‘S’ you are there for her and where to find you then she will come to you. The world is too small hun, to not take these things when they are given to us, if she seems like she is distant or even if she thinks she has to be the way she has been with other guys, make her understand your not like other guys, tell her things don’t need to be rushed and that you will be there for her as her friend as if she wants more then its one step at a time.
How did your councelling session go then? Did you talk about ‘S’ all the time? My councellor distracts me a lot. Bit of a pain.
It is a pain waiting for someone to call/text and mainly get in touch it feels like you are hanging and are on tender hooks. But when they do contact you it’s the best thing, doesn’t matter if its just to say hi, just to hear there voice or to get a text and see they are ok. It all matters communication is a major part in relationships and if you get that sorted from the start and be honest and open then that’s the best start you can give yaselfs.
And jeesh don’t talk about celibacy I have been celibate for 3 years (since the attack) I still haven’t found that someone I can trust, think it may take a while. Maybe ‘S’ feels abit like that I dunno but she may not know what to do and how to be.

Ok nearly caught up…
The fair sounds like it went ok. Which is really positive thing, and you managed to hug and put your arm round her bet that was nice, just keep doing what you are doing miro, but try and make sure there is a bit of space between yas, you need to make sure you are strong enough too not get hurt. But I know this well hun, I am having trouble with me emotions as regards to someone at the moment too. And it is hard but one step at a time.

Gawd I can hear fireworks ….

(On page 134)

Miro, how the film go? I used to work on the films, (until I became a bit unwell). Very long hours tho. , have you/did you manage to decide on a film ‘The devil wears prada’ is a good one I think. Bit of a girlie one tho think ‘S’ may like it but you may not, lol

Oh and if you want to talk to ‘S’ do it. She is prob thinking exactly the same about you, but may not beb able to pick up the phone. If you keep hesitating at the things your mind is telling you to do then you will think about whether to do it or not all night long.

I believe Britney id available yes miro, and whats with the smarties. Lol. I like the blue ones, and the red ones, they are my fav.

Keep it up with ‘s’ hun, it may seem painful and a long road to take, but what you are doing for ‘S’, is what some of us can only dream about to have someone that wants to help and support us and love us too, she is very lucky miro, keep it up and we will keep you going.

Take care
xxx

hehehe, there ya go miro a good essay

It's a Rose Essay :T

'S' is so up and down She switches on and off, it's so frustrating! I'm really really fond of her

3 sessions to go of the music Hoping it goes okay

You are right, I think the world of her. She has bad points, albeit not really bad ones! I just wanna be there for her! I'm really angry that people have hurt her so much that she's the way she is She's so different every time we meet, so distant at times

I'll always be there, for as long as she doesn't kick me away.......even then........i'll wait. I just hope she doesn't leave town, she means alot to me already.

I talked about 'S' to counsellor..........think that's why she cut it short, she got bored

When she called earlier, it was great..............I refused the call at first............just didn't feel like talking, but she tried again immediately! I am honest, and will keep being honest, keep telling her good things about her.......hopefully she won't run away!

I've been celibate for nearly 5 1/2 years.............do blowup sheep count? With 'S', it's not like I want sex..........a cuddle would be great!!!! In fact, a good time is enough!!

It is hard with emotions...........really fond of 'S', being careful not to pester her............was not sure if 1 text every 5 days was too much, but she phoned me earlier, so will text her tonight, thanking her for calling! She was great at the fair!

Well, we may go and see

http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/movies.php?id=3194

She'd like it, but she said we'd decide on Saturday.........think she wants to make the final choice........i've noticed, as nice as she is, she's not used to not making her own decision.........i.e - not used to someone helping decide!

I'm gonna talk to her, make her feel good if I can.......compliments etc etc

Britney is all mine mwahahahahahaha You on the smarties too? :T

I'll keep going with 'S'........i've never given up with someone I care about, no matter how hard it's been, and won't stop now.......I just hope she keeps me in her life, or I will be very very hurt

Hope you are okay Rose, lovely to hear from you! Keep going!!!!!

Sazbo

Miroslav wrote:

Extra tall calming vibes appreciated. Still no 'S'

You take your duvet to work?

Hope the lunch you paid for was good

Like your thinking, Mr Miromeister, although if I brought my duvet into work then I really wouldn't ever leave here, and I get home late enough as it is!

Lunch was... well, lunch. I do like my boss, and I consider him a friend, but he's leaning on me heavily at the moment (quite an achievement, when you consider he's about your height Miro!) with regard to extra work projects, so I just had to tell him I'm not really coping right now, can't take the extra pressure, and thankfully he seems to have taken that on board. For now, anyways. :rolleyes:

Re S cancelling - believe me you are the last person in the world who should get an inferiority complex. As you've recognised yourself, this is really about her issues, not yours. But knowing that is not helpful to you at all, and I completely see that. But I just want to say that if at all possible try to separate slightly the feelings you are bringing to this situation from what you know to be the issues with S that are making her respond the way she does. Yet again, real easy for me to say. Sxxx

Miroslav

Sazbo wrote:

Like your thinking, Mr Miromeister, although if I brought my duvet into work then I really wouldn't ever leave here, and I get home late enough as it is!

Lunch was... well, lunch. I do like my boss, and I consider him a friend, but he's leaning on me heavily at the moment (quite an achievement, when you consider he's about your height Miro!) with regard to extra work projects, so I just had to tell him I'm not really coping right now, can't take the extra pressure, and thankfully he seems to have taken that on board. For now, anyways. :rolleyes:

Re S cancelling - believe me you are the last person in the world who should get an inferiority complex. As you've recognised yourself, this is really about her issues, not yours. But knowing that is not helpful to you at all, and I completely see that. But I just want to say that if at all possible try to separate slightly the feelings you are bringing to this situation from what you know to be the issues with S that are making her respond the way she does. Yet again, real easy for me to say. Sxxx

Don't fancy being in work then permanently?

:rotfl: at my height..........i'd soon batter him down to size Well, it's good he's taken it on board. Hopefully he will release a bit of pressure for you

My issues are involved too. If I didn't have them, i'd be more forward But yes, it's her issues, I just want her to relax around me I'm fed up with excuses! I'm trying to seperate feelings, but as you touched on, it's really hard. I know it's mainly her, but it upsets me. I know I want to make her feel special, but appreciate she may be apprehensive and scared.

Oh I do hope one day she just gives in and accepts I like her LOADS!!!

rose07

help, im soo confuzzled, i dont know whats going on anymore

before i was fine, well not fine but struggliing, now i am soo low, i just dont know what i will do.

my dad forgot about me when i was at the dentist (he was meant to pick me up as its in the middle of no where), then i ended up walking, i cant even remember the walking my mind took over, it was thinking things i shouldnt, i didnt care about cars, i just dont care anymore, and just now my mum had a go and spilt boiling water o me, i am sure she didnt mean to. i just dunno what to do anymore:(

i am soo sorry to come on here didnt know what else to do, i wanted to come on and be happy but right now all i wanna do is die, im soz im just hurting i dunno what to do, i just dunno, help....

xxx

(rose cant breathe, and pacing)

elona

Rose

Can you go and have a long quiet soak in the bath or a nice hot shower and try to relax a bit?

Have you tried a meditation cd?

You have had a rotten day but it will get better eventually.

Give yourself a bit of quiet time if you can.

Tiff_2

rose07 wrote:

help, im soo confuzzled, i dont know whats going on anymore
before i was fine, well not fine but struggliing, now i am soo low, i just dont know what i will do.
my dad forgot about me when i was at the dentist (he was meant to pick me up as its in the middle of no where), then i ended up walking, i cant even remember the walking my mind took over, it was thinking things i shouldnt, i didnt care about cars, i just dont care anymore, and just now my mum had a go and spilt boiling water o me, i am sure she didnt mean to. i just dunno what to do anymore:(
i am soo sorry to come on here didnt know what else to do, i wanted to come on and be happy but right now all i wanna do is die, im soz im just hurting i dunno what to do, i just dunno, help....
xxx
(rose cant breathe, and pacing)

Rose angel - STOP!
Stop right now hun.
Remember what we learned - like your 1st Aid kit for times like this? Listen to Tiff.
1. Sit down now.
2. Deep breathing - good breath in and pain breath out. Slow everything down angel.
3. Calm angel ok - think calm. Nothing's going to hurt you hun. You're just at home ok?
4. Where's the dog Rosie? get your baby and give her some love.
5. Get a drink of water angel.
Are you still with me hun? Calm now - hush angel ok and try and focus. I want you to count to 100 Rose - focus means calm ok sweetheart?
Tiff xxx

rose07

elona wrote:

Rose

Can you go and have a long quiet soak in the bath or a nice hot shower and try to relax a bit?

Have you tried a meditation cd?

You have had a rotten day but it will get better eventually.

Give yourself a bit of quiet time if you can.

i cant elona. bath doesnt work cant relax, cant , just cant

im confused

havent managed to get a meditation cd yet

i dont have quiet time hun, things too stressful. :eek:

x

Tiff_2

rose07 wrote:

help, im soo confuzzled, i dont know whats going on anymore
before i was fine, well not fine but struggliing, now i am soo low, i just dont know what i will do.
my dad forgot about me when i was at the dentist (he was meant to pick me up as its in the middle of no where), then i ended up walking, i cant even remember the walking my mind took over, it was thinking things i shouldnt, i didnt care about cars, i just dont care anymore, and just now my mum had a go and spilt boiling water o me, i am sure she didnt mean to. i just dunno what to do anymore:(
i am soo sorry to come on here didnt know what else to do, i wanted to come on and be happy but right now all i wanna do is die, im soz im just hurting i dunno what to do, i just dunno, help....
xxx
(rose cant breathe, and pacing)

Ok angel - step by step remember? :T
One at a time - no pressure. hun, you CAN breathe ok sweetheart? This is how anxiety can make you feel hun. You've had this many times before and it goes away doesn't it?
Are you burned angel? Put any scalds under a cold running tap or shower for about 15 minites hun. Put a damp flannel in the freezer for 10 minutes and just lay it over a scalded/ burnt area and keep slowly put it on & off - don't wrap the flannel or anything else around a burn.
Rosie - when you can angel - come back on & tell me what happened. We're all here for you sweetheart. Breathe deeply angel.:grouphug:
Love Tiff xxx

Sazbo

Rose - try and move your focus away from what's happened to day ok? You're home now, take a long bath or shower as Elona says - I promise that always works for me - the water soothes my mind, like it's purifying me. Follow Tiff's instructions, keep breathing and breathing - long slow breaths. Make a space for some healing and some peace tonight. Love, Saz xxx

Tiff_2

rose07 wrote:

i cant elona. bath doesnt work cant relax, cant , just cant

im confused

havent managed to get a meditation cd yet

i dont have quiet time hun, things too stressful. :eek:

x

Hi Rose - there's a list I put on here today that you can listen to for free on your computer angel. I was going to PM you a copy. So we can take care of that later hun. Sit down - breathe - calm sweetheart. Talk when you're ready. Are you following your steps hun? Tiff xxx