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My dog frets when I leave the house. What can I do?

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  • sarabe
    sarabe Posts: 564 Forumite
    Raksha wrote: »
    A word of warning about the 'ignore your dog when you go out/come in' remedies - for some really sensitive dogs, this can make things worse rather than better, as they start to believe they've done something wrong and get 'depressed'.


    Agree totally with Raksha. Minimum fuss by all means but be careful about ignoring your dog, there is nothing worse than a depressed dog.
    A dog with a behaviour problem needs help not punishment.
  • guineapig
    guineapig Posts: 276 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    We had a "special needs" rescue dog and it took about 9 months of me being with her 24/7 for her to settle and blossom.

    We were her third home, and I would have walked over broken glass rather than give up on her.

    But it was so worth it, to give such a lovely loving little soul a happy life.

    We had so many happy times with her, such a lovely dog, sadly she died of cancer/old age last month.

    We were her third home and she had been abused in ways I can't even begin to describe.

    I personally would NEVER EVER cage/crate a dog ( except for car travel=safety)
    as a friend of mine had her dog BURN TO DEATH in one.


    If you truly want to give a dog a good home you have to accept that there may be issues with mess etc. much like with children and what would folks say if you caged your kids?

    Read the dog books by Jan Fennel she really knows her stuff and what she suggests really does work, well worth a few days reading if it get's you happy settled dog.
  • I had this problem with my terrier when I first got her but she is a golden oldie now and we've had her about 12 years!

    My advice is..ignore her! Give her plenty of pats and praise when she does something good, ignore her when you come in and go out of the house. I used to put my coat on, jingle the keys and then go sit down! Then go out for a couple of minutes, do this over and over until she becomes desensitised...the neighbours will think you are mad!
    Don't tell her off if she does something bad but praise when she is good, obviously tell her 'NO' if its something wrong but shouting and likewise is classed as attention (not that you would :) )
    Good luck, it takes time but its worth it, mine hasn't got lots of time left but she is worth her weight in gold :)
    Save £12k in 2012 no.49 £10,250/£12,000
    Save £12k in 2013 no.34 £11,800/£12,000
    'How much can you save' thread = £7,050
    Total=£29,100
    Mfi3 no. 88: Balance Jan '06 = £63,000. :mad:
    Balance 23.11.09 = £nil. :)
  • ps I forgot to say about the DAP plug in thing which helps, it has the scent of a lactating !!!!! and can calm them a bit. (dog appeasing pheremone)
    Save £12k in 2012 no.49 £10,250/£12,000
    Save £12k in 2013 no.34 £11,800/£12,000
    'How much can you save' thread = £7,050
    Total=£29,100
    Mfi3 no. 88: Balance Jan '06 = £63,000. :mad:
    Balance 23.11.09 = £nil. :)
  • starrystarry
    starrystarry Posts: 2,481 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    guineapig wrote: »
    I personally would NEVER EVER cage/crate a dog ( except for car travel=safety)
    as a friend of mine had her dog BURN TO DEATH in one.

    If you truly want to give a dog a good home you have to accept that there may be issues with mess etc. much like with children and what would folks say if you caged your kids?

    Every time someone suggests a cage/crate for a dog, someone always pipes up to suggest it's cruel. Nonsense. If you ask most people who have actually USED crates, as opposed to people who just think they know about them, you'll find their dogs loved them. I know mine did, it was his little hidey-hole.

    To say they shouldn't be used because one dog burned to death in one is a silly argument. How many dogs get injured or die due to the mischief they can get up to when their owners are out of the house? For example, biting through electrical wires, eating things they shouldn't eat etc. Surely it's safer, statistically, for a dog to be in a crate. I'm not saying all dogs should be crated all the time when their owners are out, but to say it's cruel or dangerous is just stupid.

    Your comment re caging kids is daft. Kids don't get left on their own in houses do they?
  • izzydogsam
    izzydogsam Posts: 190 Forumite
    Hi OP! Didn't want to read and run cos I was in a similar position a few years ago with my rescued GSD. Have a Google of 'separation anxiety' and it will give you some more info. I'm not a big lover of the RSPCA, but this gives an insight into the problem:
    http://www.rspca-westhatch.co.uk/SeparationAnxiety.htm

    Also, did the people at DT give you a copy of this?
    http://www.dogstrust.org.uk/_resources/resources/factsheets09/factsheetcopingalone09.pdf

    It DOES get better if you can build up gradually to your dog being left for longer periods. A few things that helped us were:
    - starting to close the door behind you in the house so the dog cannot follow you everywhere, just for a few seconds and building it up. E.g. leave the dog outside when you go to the loo - I'm not kidding, mine used to try and follow me in there!
    - making sure the dog has something safe and distracting to do when left e.g. a Kong, a Buster cube - only useful if your dog is not so stressed that it cannot eat :o but handy to distract them with if they are able to eat in your absence
    - leaving the radio/TV on for 'company'. My boy used to enjoy Classic FM LOL!
    - not constantly paying the dog lots of attention. This is not the same as ignoring them, just that by winding down your attention to them before you leave them, the difference between you being in the house with them and not is not so great, if that makes sense?

    I'd agree that by everyone else in the household taking more responsibility for walks/play/feeding etc., your dog will hopefully become less reliant on you and more at ease with everyone.

    It's hard with a rescue, as you feel sorry for them, I know! The separation anxiety can be overcome, but it's not a quick fix and needs a fair bit of time and patience, which I'm sure you can do. It will be worth it in the end!
    :dance:£2 savers challenge:dance:
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  • Fire_Fox
    Fire_Fox Posts: 26,026 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    guineapig wrote: »
    We had a "special needs" rescue dog and it took about 9 months of me being with her 24/7 for her to settle and blossom.

    We were her third home, and I would have walked over broken glass rather than give up on her.

    But it was so worth it, to give such a lovely loving little soul a happy life.

    We had so many happy times with her, such a lovely dog, sadly she died of cancer/old age last month.

    We were her third home and she had been abused in ways I can't even begin to describe.

    Thanks for sharing, you brought tears to my eyes. :o
    Declutterbug-in-progress.⭐️⭐️⭐️ ⭐️⭐️
  • guineapig
    guineapig Posts: 276 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    Every time someone suggests a cage/crate for a dog, someone always pipes up to suggest it's cruel. Nonsense. If you ask most people who have actually USED crates, as opposed to people who just think they know about them, you'll find their dogs loved them. I know mine did, it was his little hidey-hole.

    To say they shouldn't be used because one dog burned to death in one is a silly argument. How many dogs get injured or die due to the mischief they can get up to when their owners are out of the house? For example, biting through electrical wires, eating things they shouldn't eat etc. Surely it's safer, statistically, for a dog to be in a crate. I'm not saying all dogs should be crated all the time when their owners are out, but to say it's cruel or dangerous is just stupid.

    Your comment re caging kids is daft. Kids don't get left on their own in houses do they?


    PLEASE READ my post, I did NOT say it was cruel, I did NOT say children should be caged:confused:

    I was merely giving an opinion based on my friends experience.

    You ASSUME I have never used a cage, we used one in the car and she was never left in the car alone whilst in it, it was just for safe transportation and was 3 times bigger than she needed so she could lie down full length, on the thick fleecy hand made bed I made for it.

    So you basically read words that were not there and call me stupid?

    Thank you, it's only a few weeks since she died but hey, if it makes YOU feel better about life.:rolleyes:
  • cyberbob
    cyberbob Posts: 9,480 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Every time someone suggests a cage/crate for a dog, someone always pipes up to suggest it's cruel.

    As with anything they can be cruel if used wrong. Its cruel to leave a dog in a small room for too long as it is with a crate.

    Personally and in my experience seeing a lot if other people use crates. They seem to make a lot owners very lazy. Instead of training there dogs properly they think the answer is to shut it in a crate.

    Before everyone leaps on this post i'm not saying all people who use crates do this, but it is very easy for people to become over reliant and forget basic training
  • starrystarry
    starrystarry Posts: 2,481 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    guineapig wrote: »
    PLEASE READ my post, I did NOT say it was cruel, I did NOT say children should be caged:confused:

    I was merely giving an opinion based on my friends experience.

    You ASSUME I have never used a cage, we used one in the car and she was never left in the car alone whilst in it, it was just for safe transportation and was 3 times bigger than she needed so she could lie down full length, on the thick fleecy hand made bed I made for it.

    So you basically read words that were not there and call me stupid?

    Thank you, it's only a few weeks since she died but hey, if it makes YOU feel better about life.:rolleyes:

    Perhaps you should read my post again as well. I didn't say that you said children should be caged. What you did was to compare caging dogs with caging kids, which is clearly a silly comparison.

    Perhaps you didn't say caging dogs was cruel, I'll accept that, but the way you said you would NEVER EVER cage a dog because one BURNED TO DEATH, in block capitals, did seem like a dig at anybody that does use a cage. And you were certainly suggesting that cages were dangerous, an argument that doesn't stand up, as I stated in my post. I didn't call you stupid by the way, I said your argument was stupid.

    Cyberbob - I agree that cages can be used in the wrong way by some people, for punishment for example. But I hope the majority of people use them for the right reasons. I used a cage when my dog was a puppy, not because I'm lazy or couldn't be bothered training him but because he didn't have the sense he was born with and was a danger to himself. We invested a lot of time training him and once he was old enough to have a little more sense we put the cage away. They can be very useful in a lot of cases, they can help to keep dogs safe and they can help with house training.
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