TPAs It started off as a 2009 NYR - time moves on - I need to be MF by mid. 2012!

Tesco_points_addict

This is something I could never share in the 'real world'. I have had a rather shocking day. My mother told my father she could not live with him anymore - shes 71:eek:. I just don't know what to say, to be honest I have thought for some time that they just don't have things in common anymore and he struggles with her illness, but I never thought she would be strong enough to do something like this. I have no idea if she will take things further and if she does I have no idea how she will cope or where she will live. Hubby has very kindly said she could stay here for a while but to be honest as much as I adore her our house is not really big enough for an 'extended family' long term.

I feel like I have gone full circle (not for the first time) you know; was the child now feel like the parent.:(

I hope everyone else has had a better day than me.

TPAx

gallygirl

Yikes TPA, :grouphug: for all of you. I hope your mum can work something out xx

TallGirl

That must be a bit of a shock for you (hugs) really don't know what to say. My parrent got divorced 15 years ago and are now both happy seperately but before they got divorced I never knew anything was wrong. With my inlaws its is totally different DH's dad told him in 1972 that he was leaving his mum but then she got cancer and they stuck together. They are now in their 80's and fight all the time I really wish they had split up even if it was only 10 years ago.

All you can do is try to support them and avoid taking side however hard it might be.

Radish72

That must have been such a shock for you

:grouphug:

Hopefully now it has been said out loud, they can talk about it together. Does your mum feel like she is becoming a burden to your dad with her illness and wants to se him free

cha97michelle

Wow. Totally out the blue. It is the sort of thing my parents often threaten, but i think mum would feel too guilty about it as my dad is permanently paralysed after an accident. I sometimes wish they would as they really argue and could both be happier.

I guess you never really know what is going on in a marriage.

I hope a sensible and not too traumatic solution is found.

setmefree2

Blimey - how stressful Parents

SmlSave

big hug hun

Tesco_points_addict

Thank you all for your support.

Managed to speak to both parents today, mum is determined things must change and dad thinks she is having a bad few days and burying his head in the sand thinking it will all blow over.:(

If i'm honest I think they would both be happier apart...eventually, however they have been together a long time and i'm not sure my mother realises how difficult life might be. I know they love each other but sometimes this is just not enough.

My mums illness means that a lot of her confidence and her choices in life have been limited, my dad can be very controlling; although he does not recognise this. He always has the last say in things, what they have for tea, where they holiday etc. He really believes this is not true and it is difficult to explain to him. He can also be very 'short and snappy' in fact sometimes down right rude, not just to mum, but more so with her just because of the amount of time they spend together and in fairness her illness can make her slightly 'batty' a frustrating at times:o.

I have suggested they go to counselling, however my dad is not one to talk about his feelings so this did not go down well, his Dad was exactly the same and his mum even more so.

The trouble is, you work all your life and finally get to the stage when you should be able to take things easy, then life has a habit of slapping you across the face, as with dads accident last year and mums illness. Its not what anyone would have wished for them but these things have happened and they have to be dealt with. I know my dad is really struggling, even now, to come to terms with the accident and he still struggles to drive in the dark, however his attitude cannot all be put down to this as he has been an agumentative bug*er for years now!!

I just really want them both to be happy, we are in part a step family and this can cause rifts too, my younger brother is treated very differently to my older one, my mum has picked up on this yet my dad does not think anything is wrong. I think my mum (perhaps correctly) feels that if her and dad spilt the family would fall apart, this alone would make her stay, she is a very selfless lady, the sort that would give you the last penny in her purse with no thought for herself. Whereas my dad would make sure he was ok first, then worry about everyone else. (On a good point, I think him being so 'tight' has made me money savvy!

I have told them both that all I want is for them both to be happy and will support them both.

There is a 2 bedroom house for sale just down the road from us, I was thinking today this would suit my mum, however when I thought about it logically I realised that she would be very isolated here, where they live currently, they have the most fantastic neighbours.

God, i'm sorry, I just needed to get all that out.

Back to money:

I have joined hubby up to a few betting sites, if Algeria win tonight we are in for a rather large payout, if they draw we get enough for a takeaway, if Rounie(sp?:rotfl:) scores first we get enough for a nice bottle of wine and a takeaway, if England win and Rounies not the first scorer (is that a word??) we also get enough for wine! What ever the final score we get some funds, but an Algeria win would be fantastic-fingers, toes n arms crossed!
I don't even like football!! Hence the spelling!:p

TPAx

EDIT: Ended up with a £20 win - not bad but £195 if Algeria had won would have pleased me even more!!

Floxxie

TPA, have you tried match betting? - much better than gambling and you still make money. The details are on the 'Gambling' forum although I'm always happy to help

P.S. Sorry to hear about your parental situation.

Tesco_points_addict

Floxxie wrote: »

TPA, have you tried match betting? - much better than gambling and you still make money. The details are on the 'Gambling' forum although I'm always happy to help

P.S. Sorry to hear about your parental situation.

Hi Floxxie, I only join the betting sites when the cashback is more than you have pay in. I have thought about match betting but my brain wont take it in, so the odd £10 here and there suits me! I know there is a lot of money to be made from MB but just not for me i'm afraid!

[STRIKE]I [/STRIKE] We have made a big decsion, I am a slovenly moo when it comes to house work, the house is always a tip so we are going to get a cleaner:eek:. I will HAVE to tidy up before she comes so a tidy and clean house will prevail! She is coming on Thursday to have a good clean then hopefully just 1.5 hours every week after that. She is going to do downstairs, the landing and the bathroom, the bedrooms are just too messy to begin just yet:eek: That is so embaressing to admit but I would rather do some extra MS's to pay someone else than do it myself - god i'm so lazy!

Sneaks off into 'embaressland' and wonders if sometimes it would be best not to share things

EDIT: forgot to say I am going to work soon to do a shift to pay for said cleaner!

TPAx!