The Ultimate Incentive to have an amazing 2010.

poddle911

I was just about to say it's curiously quiet over here. (And CMD still isn't here!!) Sounds like a good day's work Dinah! How many do you have? Make sure you have regular tea breaks so you don't keel over from boredom

Dinah93

Only about 10 I think.

I noticed she's still not here

I spoke to the estate agent this morning and they still haven't heard from the surveyor, but they said one company was so backed up a few weeks ago they had a 5 week delay. That wouldn't be the end of the world since it wouldn't be our fault and she couldn't hold it against us really, and it'd be a month less we'd need to pay morgage on an empty house!

Birdie85

Ooooh I think we may have a baby CMD! :j

Hope the nieces and nephew feel better soon Lulu!

How many prints do you have to upload Dinah? You should make some sort of reward scheme so for every x number you upload you get to do something nice!

I was awake all night last night panicking about money, we sat down and looked at our accounts and whilst OH has been out spending like it's going out of fashion and thinking that we're 'loaded' because he saw the balance of our joint account before all of the bills came out we're now well down thanks to various things so he insisted on going through everything and telling me I'm not allowed to buy any food outside of a Big Shop and I've got to use less petrol! I can't really control the price of petrol! I'm also personally skint, I've got £13 to last until next Friday but my best friend/ bridesmaid is going to York on Saturday wedding dress shopping and I really want to go but can't afford it because she'll want to go out for lunch.

OH then had a go at me asking where all of my money went because he never runs out... but this month I had to pay for the dentist, my Mum's birthday present, my friend's christmas present (yes, 2 months late!) and I'm paying off my CC on my own with no help from him so of course I'm going to run short! It's really getting me down because I've not bought any clothes, books (I picked 2 up last week in WH Smith and put them back after looking at them for AGES, they must have thought I was mad!), DVDs, make-up etc yet I've got no money! I can't even afford contact lenses! I've bought 3 magazines for myself and been out a couple of times spending about £15 a time so it's not like I'm spending *loads* on wasteful things. Back to the spending diary to keep track of it all!

Swinstie73

* pops in from lurkdom *

Think it's the time of year Birdie, my council tax didn't come off last month or this month (so should've been flush) but in January I was £60 over budget, February a whopping £205 over budget! This month, I don't even have anything in my budget, I am flying on fumes!

lulu984

Birdie85 wrote: »

Hope the nieces and nephew feel better soon Lulu!

They seem better today, but still cant go to school for 48 hours because we cant have it spreading round the school. So they are here with me until tomorrow. But i dont mind, i love having them

Birdie! I think you're really good with your money, you dont overspend on silly things and you still manage to have a great social life without getting further into debt.
Just get into doing all the extras in your spare time and have a few more weekends in, have you're friends round for a film and dinner or something. Still go shopping, just ask your mate if she minds driving? Or say you cant afford to have lunch out, or say you've eaten before you go or something? Never know, she might feel generous and treat you :cool:

Dinah93

You sound utterly fed up Birdie.

Birdie85 wrote: »

Ooooh I think we may have a baby CMD! :j

Hope the nieces and nephew feel better soon Lulu!

How many prints do you have to upload Dinah? You should make some sort of reward scheme so for every x number you upload you get to do something nice!

10 or so. I can't think of a suitable treat though - I'm being a demon on the chocolate this week as it is! Think TOTM must be coming as it always makes me a sugar fiend. I've even been craving cake, which I don't normally even like.

I was awake all night last night panicking about money, we sat down and looked at our accounts and whilst OH has been out spending like it's going out of fashion and thinking that we're 'loaded' because he saw the balance of our joint account before all of the bills came out we're now well down thanks to various things so he insisted on going through everything and telling me I'm not allowed to buy any food outside of a Big Shop and I've got to use less petrol! I can't really control the price of petrol! I'm also personally skint, I've got £13 to last until next Friday but my best friend/ bridesmaid is going to York on Saturday wedding dress shopping and I really want to go but can't afford it because she'll want to go out for lunch.

OH then had a go at me asking where all of my money went because he never runs out... but this month I had to pay for the dentist, my Mum's birthday present, my friend's christmas present (yes, 2 months late!) and I'm paying off my CC on my own with no help from him so of course I'm going to run short! It's really getting me down because I've not bought any clothes, books (I picked 2 up last week in WH Smith and put them back after looking at them for AGES, they must have thought I was mad!), DVDs, make-up etc yet I've got no money! I can't even afford contact lenses! I've bought 3 magazines for myself and been out a couple of times spending about £15 a time so it's not like I'm spending *loads* on wasteful things. Back to the spending diary to keep track of it all!

Right love, I'm a bit confused - I thought you had a joint bills account and seperate accounts for personal spending money? If he is spending the joint money to go out, thats not on.

Do you get contact lenses from an opticians or online? There are major savings to be had buying online if you don't use daily disposables.

Books, don't buy at WHSmith! Swap old ones on Risi, or buy second hand on amazon, most fiction sells for £2.76 including delivery, which is so much cheaper than new ones.

Is the debt yours or joint? If it is only yours then to be honest it is fair that he gets to spend his money while you pay back what you owe. However if you have joint fiances you need to both make cut backs, prioritise where the money goes so the only money you both have access to is the spending account, all the bills/repayment money is seperate.

Food and petrol are nessessities, going out is not. If the money in the joint account is running out just on nessessities, you need to put more money in there a month. Do you earn the same amount or does one person earn more? How do you split who contributes what?

I honestly think its terrible he deflected the lack of money onto you because you buy food at the wrong shops, rather than he is spending on non essentials!

You're right you can't control the cost of petrol, you can to a lesser extent control food. Get a seperate purse, and every monday draw £50 from the bank and put it in (or whatever you budget for food a week). If you run out of money in the purse, you have to live out the cupboards - which always makes for some odd meals! Maybe when he sees you cutting back on luxuries like sweets, alcohol etc to put 3 square meals on the table a day he'll realise you're not squandering the money, you're being as careful as you can. Problem is if you eat crap like pot noodles and ready meals you could live the two of you on about £25 a week including all shampoo, cleaning products etc. If you want to eat healthily, it costs more.

If you've spent £40 on yourself this month, that should be within budget. Honestly, its about how much I spend a month, but thats because I choose to prioritise paying off the debt and saving for nice things for the new house. Your money only goes so far, so work out how much you have for spending a month, and decide does a night out come before a new dress or new bedding or whatever. Sadly we can't afford everything.

To be honest it sounds like you're kind of having a LBM and realising you need to get a handle on your money, whereas before you just thought you should clear the debt, and didnt so much see the need or want to. I could be wrong, but I get this idea since you bought a new bed rather than paying off the debt. Unless you had no bed this was a luxury not a nessessity. The start to that would be facing how much debt you have - I notice you removed it from your sig a while ago. If you don't face it, and can't balance incomings to outgoings, its not going to go away.

Hope this in some way helps you x

Birdie85

Thanks Lulu, I don't feel very good with money at the moment TBH! Starting to worry about going to London in April with my Mum as she said she'll pay for the trip but she wants to split the cost of food whilst we're there and she'll want to go for at least one 'nice' meal despite me saying that I can't afford it. And she always has the more expensive food and drink then expects me to split it evenly with her even though my meal and drink cost loads less! She just doesn't get it that I'm not well off like she and my dad are, or my brother and his GF!

Just text my friend asking her about the plan for Saturday and explaining the money situation. She's one who always says she needs to save money but always has a new outfit and pesters me to go out so much that I go just to shut her up so I'm not expecting her to be very understanding!

Phew... I feel in a real funk today, need to perk up!

ETA: Crossed posts with Dinah. Will read and comment!

Tete_en_l'Air

Dinah93 wrote: »

To be honest it sounds like you're kind of having a LBM and realising you need to get a handle on your money, whereas before you just thought you should clear the debt, and didnt so much see the need or want to.

I agree with this ... sorry if that's harsh

You need to sit down and work out debts/expenditure etc to the penny. If it is your debt then yes you need to pay it, but if OH sees that you're doing this and not spending on books, make up, clothes in order to get the debt down, he might be more inclined to take you out for dinner as a reward or buy you a little treat out of his spare spends money. After all you paying off your debt will mean a brighter future for both of you.

Sit down and work everything out, then work out an action plan, and you'll feel loads better xx

Swinstie73

You really should become a financial advisor Dinah! A spending diary (think you already mentioned it Birdie) is a good idea, I know I've overspent, especially last month, but it's scary seeing where my money went i.e. £45 last month on storage for the house. Essential, but at the same time not (if the house was tidier in the first place).

Cinny91

Aw Birdie! Sorry to hear you're so down today A spending diary sounds like a good idea. Have you got proper budgets ect?? I agree with what everyone else has said, might be and idea to sit down and work out a little POA!

Still, I think your OH was a bit harsh! When you said he was spending money like it was going out of fashion do you mean from the joint account? Like, spending more on food than normal or something? Because it's totally unfair for him to take it out on you, telling you what you can and can't buy just because he turned into a magpie after seeing pennies in the account!

Hope you get into a bit of a happier mood, sending hugs! Dinah sounds about right though, maybe this is the start of a LBM??

Did my budgets last night and they're scary. They'll do for the next couple weeks, then I start paying my parents board again and will have to look at it again. Boo!

On a happier note, it's all lovely and springlike outside!