Eager Elephant's Effective Everyday Excursion ...

Seasidegal58

Hi Eager Elephant - I dropped into your diary earlier as your very first entry caught my eye. After reading through your four years (all right I was skimming through some of it ) I can only gawp in amazement at all that you have gone through and how well you have coped.


I think who every wrote the book "I Don't Know How She Does It" should have taken your diary as inspiration! From coping with a menagerie of livestock (including the mad goats you never wanted), sick pets, running a home, two children, the Aged Awkward Relative Living In, different jobs, committee work, and last but not least your husband and everything that went on there!


Your two recent posts seem to indicate that there is light at the end of the four year tunnel and I do hope all works out well with your husband's new job. It is awful for him to have had these mental and physical issues (plus the horrible things that went on in his childhood), but you have been an absolute brick to have stuck by him - many women would have thrown in the towel! I couldn't help laughing at many of your posts, but also felt for you so much when he disappeared and how worried and upset you were.


Anyway I will be following your diary and am raising a glass of virtual champagne to you!


P.S I would have one of your goats, but I don't think it would like living in my flat!

Eager_Elephant

Hi Seasidegal

Well done for reading most of my diary!

Many years ago (before I was married) I met my now best friend when I started working nights in a supermarket, after a few months she said if she didn't know me and my family she would have thought I was a liar - my life was like a soap opera!!

I have to say back then it was mainly my brothers who were very naughty and always in trouble with the police etc.

Now it seems it is my life - there is always something going on although to be honest sometimes I get fed up of it all!

At the moment I am feeling like I don't want to be on the committee which involves the most work but then I think if I leave would anyone else step up and if they didn't I wouldn't want to be responsible for it closing.

I think this attitude is because I don't have time to myself in the mornings anymore and the evenings are also busy - obviously I know the mornings are to save money but sometimes it is hard!!!

I have read your diary as well seasidegal but have not posted - I read it after you posted on HappyNow's diary!
Your dedication to budgeting in the first month has been astounding!!

Seasidegal58

Hi EE - thanks for your kind comment. I sometimes feel somewhat fraudulent as I have a good job and no
financial dependents. I look at some of the stories on the boards and they are absolutely heartbreaking. When I see people like you and other posters who are holding their families together, some on benefits though no fault of their own, I do feel for you and am rather humbled as I am still managing to do things I like that costs money - I don't really feel that I can honestly say I am frugal.


Yes I did rather think your diary read like a soap opera:rotfl:!


I too remember having a life like the Christmas episodes of "East Enders" many moons ago when I was married (I too was a young mum!). The peace when I finally got rid of the OH was phenomenal!:D


Re your committee - it's the guilt thing again isn't it? Is there no-one in your circle that you could envisage taking over? I do think it is time that you started thinking of yourself a bit more - you have certainly given all of yourself in different areas for quite some time. I think in this instance you certainly deserve some 'me' time. :A

debtfreewannabe321

Morning EE!

Thanks for Pm'ing me rather than waiting for me to catch up on everyone's diary :rotfl: I am so behind with everyone! Mostly because DS1 keeps stealing my laptop and I hate posting on my phone!

I'm glad you found the cause of your discomfort, I thought I was gluten intolerant a few years back as I had similar pains etc, I didn't cut it out for long enough to ever be sure though. I did cut out aspartame though and I lost over a stone within a month just by cutting that out. I still get very bloated and tired though and am wondering if maybe I should try cutting it out again (the gluten that is) :think:

How's DH's new job going? Have you got yourself into a good routine yet? xxx

Eager_Elephant

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

I'm glad you found the cause of your discomfort, I thought I was gluten intolerant a few years back as I had similar pains etc, I didn't cut it out for long enough to ever be sure though. I did cut out aspartame though and I lost over a stone within a month just by cutting that out. I still get very bloated and tired though and am wondering if maybe I should try cutting it out again (the gluten that is) :think:

It's got to be worth a go - I probably mentioned up there but I decided to go gluten free for 2 weeks to start with because I thought that was long enough to cope without bread :rotfl:and long enough to notice a difference.

I definitely have loads more energy and I haven't had as many spots:eek: (why at 33 did I still get them?)

My DH still thinks I should start introducing things back in as it might not be all gluten but to be honest I am quite happy without it all and I have that worry that if it's not suitable and I get the pain I will be in such discomfort for hours and it's just not worth it.

debtfreewannabe321 wrote: »

How's DH's new job going? Have you got yourself into a good routine yet? xxx

DH's job is going well, by the end of the week he is very tired and has to have a lay in on Saturday.
I am sure his health is not helped by the fact he does not eat breakfast or lunch:eek:. Last year he made a real effort to eat 3 meals a day and he was so much brighter and alert - the thing is that he can't be bothered to make lunch before work and I don't see why I should keep doing it (but may I am being petty:rotfl:)

The first weeks routine was very hit and miss and of course last week was half term so this coming week will be the start of a whole new term and I hope we will have a routine.
I am thinking about doing packed lunches at night and making DD get her school clothes out because it is usually her who has the mad panic in the morning.

The problem I am finding is that going to work early but still coming home at the same time leaves me hardly any time for MSE and I have to catch up on a Saturday.

Eager_Elephant

Seasidegal58 wrote: »

Hi EE - thanks for your kind comment. I sometimes feel somewhat fraudulent as I have a good job and no
financial dependents. I look at some of the stories on the boards and they are absolutely heartbreaking. When I see people like you and other posters who are holding their families together, some on benefits though no fault of their own, I do feel for you and am rather humbled as I am still managing to do things I like that costs money - I don't really feel that I can honestly say I am frugal.

Frugal has a very wide definition and I think you are frugal according to your income - you could spend a lot more on going out and doing even more things but you choose not to.

Seasidegal58 wrote: »

Re your committee - it's the guilt thing again isn't it? Is there no-one in your circle that you could envisage taking over? I do think it is time that you started thinking of yourself a bit more - you have certainly given all of yourself in different areas for quite some time. I think in this instance you certainly deserve some 'me' time. :A

The problem is that the Committee is quite small and the people who have been chairman over the years have royally ruined things so a lot of time is spent mending our reputation.
In all honesty there is no one who could or would take over - I am not being big headed but 2 of the Committee don't even really know how to use computers and send emails :eek:

The other one is very good and lovely, works full time in a stressful job but I think would lead us very well - I have hinted that I would like him to be chairperson next year.

Whenever I have some 'me' time I always find something else to join, I am just a sucker for punishment:rotfl:
So far I have resisted all attempts by the Parish Council to join them, I go to all the meetings to get the gossip and that is all. They think as I attend I want to join, one man said he was stepping down as he knew I could have his place:eek:. I told him I was fine as I was:rotfl:

Eager_Elephant

Found DH's contract and he has been paid for a full month less 4 days - he started on 5th of the month but they did not deduct any tax - all DH keeps asking me is why - I have told him the numerous reasons why but ultimately they are in the wrong for not deducting it.

I have done the online tax calculator and the amount he got paid this month is roughly what he will get every month (normal month with Tax and NI deducted) so I have something to work on.

I have also been paid but I am doing an extra 2hrs a week at work and I think she has only paid me for the last month when I needed paying for 2mths.

I also need to ring Tax Credits today to let them know that DH has started work and that our childcare has gone up. I think I will get about £20pw as income last year was quite low but from next April we won't get any (if DH's work continues)

We have not had the financial talk yet but I have scribbled down some figures and a list of what we need to discuss.

Not sure how much we can save this month as need to pay car repair bill (owing for last few months) and we have run out of oil so need to get some - I have been putting the immersion on in the evenings for hot water but I noticed how cold upstairs was because when we use oil for hot water the pipes run under the landing and makes everywhere warm.

Not much else is happening at the moment which makes a change:rotfl:

Seasidegal58

Glad to hear that you're having a more peaceful time for a change than normal and hope the forthcoming financial talk with OH goes well!:)


I think you are wise in heading off at the pass the person at the Parish Council who wants to get you involved!


You spoke of routines and making up packed lunches the evening before. I started doing this a short while ago and it does work. I'm always running around getting ready for work first thing in the morning and if I left making my lunch till the morning I'd never do it and end up buying sandwiches etc! Have you had a look at the Flylady website? It's American and gets a bit happy clappy sometimes but the basis of it is very sound when it comes to advice on household routines etc.


Love to the goats.:D

Eager_Elephant

Glad to hear that you're having a more peaceful time for a change than normal and hope the forthcoming financial talk with OH goes well!:)

The talk went very well :T. DH is very much on board and is desperate to start saving. The amounts I had in minds for all the pots he wanted to put more in even though he will have less spends. He didn't want any spends:eek: but then agreed to have £50pm just in case. Think a lightbulb is flickering:T

You spoke of routines and making up packed lunches the evening before. I started doing this a short while ago and it does work. I'm always running around getting ready for work first thing in the morning and if I left making my lunch till the morning I'd never do it and end up buying sandwiches etc! Have you had a look at the Flylady website? It's American and gets a bit happy clappy sometimes but the basis of it is very sound when it comes to advice on household routines etc.

Making lunches the night before is going well, even DD (11) is in on the act and is making her own sandwiches:T.
On Monday it did not translate in to leaving the house earlier although yesterday was much better.
Forgot lunches last night as issue with forgetting to collect DD and friends from Guides:eek: and DD remembered at 9.15pm when DH got in from Maths so she did her sandwich then.
I have been up since 4.45am:eek: and have made DH and my salad.
I am really pleased with DH; not only did he make the salads on Monday night but he is actually eating lunch for the first time in months - think I said up there he does not usually eat all day but now he is. He is having fish with his salad - we got a variety of tuna, mackeral and sardines in different sauces (expensive but need to shop around) so I am hoping this will help his memory and concentration due to the Omega 3 (or am I talking twaddle:rotfl:) as this is something he struggles with due to his illness.

I must look at Flylady again as the house is struggling to keep tidy:rotfl:

Love to the goats.:D

:mad: One bit me the other day!! DH feeds them by hand wheras I put the food on the grass/in a container and leave them to it so when I wasn't going quickly enough he started nibbling my trousers but ended up biting my thigh:eek:

Hopefully DH will move them soon but we have an issue in the other field - we have a very very large oak and one of the branches had a crack in it (from the storm last year we think) but as not overhanging a road or path we left it - we think it might be protected but when we went up at the weekend a branch (very big)has snapped off and is hanging by the bark and is on the stock fence:eek: so we need to survey it properly and get the branch down and sort the fence.

Seasidegal58

Wow it's great how your husband is coming on board with wanting to save. You're right in giving him something to spend for himself - it'll keep him motivated. Good that he having a lunch finally - must do him good. Keep on feeding him the fish - it's good for the brain:rotfl:

It's lovely that your DD is helping out on the packed lunches front. A lot of kids of her age wouldn't think of helping out - just would take it for granted that mum will be making them.!:T

Hope the goats aren't turning into carnivores!:rotfl:

When you say the oak is protected, I take it you can't get rid of the branch yourselves? Hope that doesn't equate into more expense:(