Sallyx's Sink or Swim, Swimerdy Swim Diary ;)

redsquirrel80

Glad it went OK over the weekend, I was worried about you x

Wol2

Well done Sal
:T:T:T
A daunting hurdle cleared....:beer:. there will be a few more of course along the way ....- but for now, give yourself a big pat on the back for staying strong and managing so well this weekend :T

xxxx

tigzem

Glad it went ok, had been thinking about you. As I said earlier I'm in a similar situation but unlike you I'm not brave enough to make that break

Hugs to you both xx

hypno06

So pleased that it went well, sally! You can start to look forwards properly now

Snaggles

Glad the weekend wasn't as bad as you expected. You are saying all the right, logical, obvious things but you are struggling because your heart hasn't quite accepted them yet. Hearts are a little bit slower than heads, but if you keep saying those things, your heart will begin to accept them too. :grouphug:

Bunny, your post made me cry a bit too.

sallyx

Bunnys post made me sob like a baby...lol

There is still a lot to talk about and how we move forward in whatever way but the fact is we have survived 2 weeks, he has been back and having him in the house was fine..in fact he was kind, helpful and bareable!

Still waiting for my heart to realise that the dream was non exsistant!

redsquirrel80

Bunnyinthelights wrote: »

Sal,
You, more than anyone knows where I am coming from when I say this- as Bea's mother, part of our duty is to teach our children how to love and show love to others. Your relationship with XOH is what is going to teach her that...

I look at my life now: DH who despite his best efforts find showing love and affection towards me virtually impossible perfectly mirrors his parents. They stayed together 'for the kids' and are unhappy. Miserable.

My Mom stuck with my step dad (who told her he didnt find her 'attractive' countless times) 'for the kids' and now I find myself in almost the EXACT SAME SITUATION.

Do you want B to grow up thinking that a happy relationship is one without love/affection/passion? Personally, I think she will appreciate parents who in the long run are happy and in fullfilled relationships. Yes, it IS difficult now but think long term, think about what you are showing to your child. You are teaching her to strive for love, not to accept sub-standard relationships and teaching her respect.

As a final act of whatever love you have for XOH, its only fair you release the dream as it is just that-you can then both move towards finding someone who loves you and respects you and shows you the deep love and affection we all deserve.

x

Just re-read this, Bunny is so right - it took me a long time to realise that what my parents had was not what a marriage/ relationship is meant to be about - my dad stayed with my mum mainly because of me, and then because of guilt later on once I'd left home (he has told me this, nothing like passing on a bit of the guilt eh?) I swung between relationships that were absolutely smothering to those where I was scrabbling around for scraps of affection before realising that I was partly making up for the lack of love in their relationship. (My dad also once told me that he was glad that the way they were hadn't affected me and I seemed to be able to have normal caring relationships - quite obvious I didn't confide in either of them about the difficult ones then!)

It's early days Sal but I think you're approaching things with absolutely the right attitude - trying to do your best for B and trying to make everyone happier in the long run - which is also part of what's best for her.

Shoe_Gal

Glad it wasn't too much of an ordeal - and especially glad that B seems to have coped well with everything

First hurdle out of the way, bring on the next :A

sallyx

Have been clearing and sorting out cupboards and bits this afternoon...always feels good while I am doing it and then it hits home a few hours later. B has been a bit teary tonight which always makes me sad but Im trying really hard to remain strong for her

Have had a long list to do tonight
Reading with B
Cook supper for tomorrow
Put rubbish out
Sort out recycling
Plastic bottles in the car to take to recycling bank
Pack ebay parcels up
Sweep floor
Packed Lunches
Wash up
Menu Plan for next month
Do tesco order
Photograph ebay stuff
List 4 items

beanielou

Phew to your list.
Need to have a wee snooze after reading it.Zzzzzzz.
Take care x