Sallyx's Sink or Swim, Swimerdy Swim Diary ;)

sallyx

Hi red thanks for popping on to my diary.... A LOT has changed since my diary started but in brief was married. Ex made redundant, he had affair, finally kicked him out and totally unexpected met my soul mate only a couple of weeks after ex left. Will look out for your diary

Bunnyinthelights

I am so looking forward to our weekend.

I need friend time REALLY badly x

sallyx

We are both really really looking forward to coming R will have to go off and do a long run on the sunday morning but that will give us gossip time

Ok let me run something past you
Obviously the whole house renting, buying, what we are going to do scenario continues when this morning he throws into the mix that a while ago his parents has discussed that they would really like to downsize their house and would be happy to buy another property which had an annexe, them take the annexe and R have the house for him and the children...he wanted to know what my feelings are on it, would I be happy to have them that close and have to move away from this town.

So I thought Id have a look this afternoon and by chance there is a perfect house, big houses with big annexe's never come up and its literally down the road from where they are now...so do I mention it. I don't want to be presumptious about how much they want to spend but equally I know he said their house was worth over 500k. If I mention it do I risk looking like some pushy gold digger to his parents....

Burlesque_Babe

You won't seem like a pushy gold digger at all, they will probably feel it is a nice gesture for you to be thinking of them.

How would you feel about his parents being on the same premises as you? I know it will be in an annexe but what are your thoughts on them possibly being in and out a lot of the time, 'popping by' etc when you are both wanting the time together now to get to know one another and spend that precious initial time together before the rest of life comes tapping on the door? Not wanting to put a downer etc on the thoughts, I think you are really lovely for being so thoughtful but just thinking of you.

Personally it would do my head in, but that's just me which is why it made me go a bit :eek: at the thought of the inlaws on the doorstep wanting to know if I'd washed OH's socks correctly and would they be invited to dinner :rotfl:

sallyx

PMSL BB :eek:

I don't think to be honest that it would bother me...they are lovely and I think it could work to our advantage too. They are quite private people and I just couldn't see them popping by or making sure we were doing things their way. I can totally see where you are coming from though!

I can't see anything happening for months anyway so really the point of me bringing it up is pretty fruitless I think.

Pooky

It's always worth mentioning these things as they crop up - tell him you've seen the house and let fate decide from there what happens.

Having lived with my parents and grandparents (in an annex) until I was 17 I know what major stress it puts on a family and I wouldn't ever put myself in a situation to do it......both my parents and in-laws have said the same too - we all like our own space far to much. But it does work for some people so I think it all really does depend on your relationship with the other people and finding a house that really suits everyone.

Personally, if I were you, I think I'd want time as a couple before throwing in-laws into the mix - however lovely they are.

Lucifa73

Its all about how you bring it up Sal. Bring it up casually as a coincidence that after you'd been talking you saw this property...

If his parents are the kindof people who keep themselves to themselves (as opposed to my exes folks who 'just happened' to walk past the front door (on a close that went nowhere) on a regular basis) and you feel able to lay out some ground rules there's no reason it wouldn't work...

redcoltraine

sallyx wrote: »

Hi red thanks for popping on to my diary.... A LOT has changed since my diary started but in brief was married. Ex made redundant, he had affair, finally kicked him out and totally unexpected met my soul mate only a couple of weeks after ex left. Will look out for your diary

Corr Blimey!:D

Bunnyinthelights

Sal,
Mention it.
I live around the corner from my in-laws (I know its not quite the same) but its ok.

R can do lots of nice runs around here...

sallyx

Luc I think you are right, there would have to be some ground rules set out but I just don't see them interferring, they like to keep themselves to themselves.

I was actually thinking about it as I was walking to work and wondering whether I am actually being very selfish and putting my own needs and wants before B. She is happy at school, settled, we have a good life here, friends and support so why would I take that away from her a put her in a position where life is so so different. Thinking the ideal situation would be for us to rent somewhere near here for a while so that we can see how things are, we might find we hate living together ( can't see it tbh but you never know) and then we can have a think about where we would like to be long term in 6-12 months.

So in other news...well not much else happening, popped down to the allotment and planted some more bits just hoping it grows now! Am at work until 1pm today and then R is picking me up and we are going to do some hill running (mad in this heat!), back to mine and he is cooking a curry and has made his own naan bread. Tomorrow we have got the whole day together