Hypno's "me, me, me, me, me," diary.....

InaPickle

EssexHebridean wrote: »

Ahh, but they get Cadbury's making them different bars of choccy over there to what we get here. Seriously, when we were there the other weekend we saw two or three Cadbury's bars that neither of us had ever heard of! I was surprised at some stuff over there though - example, you know the McDonalds £ saver menu where they do a load of stuff for £1? Well over there, the self same things are 2 Euros - or about £1.73! There was certainly no temptation to buy anything to bring back! Lovely City though Shaun.

Not so much anymore...although a Moro bar (yum yum! ) is called a Boost over here. Remember all those mint crisps etc. which Cadbury's released over here a few years ago? Well they have been doing the rounds in Ireland since I was a kiddiwinkle. probably longer. I don't know why, but you always seem to be able to get things in Ireland before over here: I remember eating Skittles on holiday in Ireland years and years before they came out over here, and (I think it was) Vanish washing powder came out over there ages before over here. It's probably the same for many other products, but those are the ones I can recall the best!

hypno06

Right......so.......the time has come for me to be able to say some of the things that I have wanted to say over the last two weeks, but couldn't because DS and DD needed to know first, and with DS being away, it was something that needed to be dealt with on a "need to know" basis only.....

OH announced to me about 10 days ago that he is leaving me. A bit of a shock to me, to say the least, but something that he has obviously been planning on doing, or at least wanting to do, for some time now.......

The last few days have seen a whirlwind of emotions, as you can imagine, coupled with the practicalities that need dealing with when you have children, debt, and all the trappings. They also needed to be dealt with on the quiet as we could not risk DD finding out and then telling DS via the wonder that is facebook, or some such like.

He has a flat - picked up the keys yesterday - that he will be renting, and I am having the mortgage and the equity in this property transferred to me. I will be responsible for all the remaining debt, plus the mortgage, but in return I also have the equity in the property.

That means my budget is now tighter than it has been for a very long time as I assume full responsibility for the roof over the heads of myself and our children. OH will pay maintenance, obviously, for the children, but he earns a minimum amount, so the payment to me will not be great. There is nothing that can be done about that other than just getting on with it.

I am very lucky that the halifax agree that I can take on the full amount of the mortgage myself - my credit rating is now excellent, and the level of additional debt seen as very manageable - that in itself is a far cry from the situation of years gone by, and is something that would have been very different had I not been with MSE all this time. As a result, there is no need for me to consider selling the house etc at this point in time.

However, in order to ensure that my budget is not unworkably tight, I am going to go against all the things I have worked for over the last few years, and I am consolidating my barclayloan onto the mortgage. I have had to consolidate the mortgage and the secured loan into one anyway, as they are to be transferred into a sole account, and by adding in the other loan, it frees up £250 from my budget, which is a huge amount at this stage and will make the difference between sinking or swimming.

That will mean I just have a mortgage and the 0% card.......but the overall figure will remain more or less the same, although the money I have previously put aside to offset against my loan to pay it off early, will now be used to pay legal fees and pay for items of furniture that I need to replace, so my debt will actually increase slightly as the offset savings are not there.

In addition.......my attitude to the debt (or the mortgage as it will be) will shift slightly.......There is no way possible that I can now be debt free by the summer, or debt free by 40......I can do little about that.

I also have no savings now, using them (as above) to cover the cost of this situation I find myself in.....

So I have to stop throwing money at the mortgage, and instead ensure that I am able to make the books balance for everyday living, make sure that I can save for some sort of "life" with the children - skiing, trips, a bit of nice stuff, and to get some form of emergency savings behind me for the future.

Then, and only then, will I restart the overpayments to the mortgage.

So, I hope you will understand why I have been quiet over the last couple of weeks. It seemed futile posting about a 10p scratch win, when I really wanted to scream at the top of my voice about my frustrations of having to take on £195k of debt on my own.

The children have now been told. It wasn't fun, but then it wasn't supposed to be. We will get through this. It won't always be easy, but we will survive.

Life goes on, albeit in a different format to the one I always expected

skint_spice

So sorry Hypno, but like you say you will get through this:grouphug:.

DeeDeeinDooDoo

So, so sorry to hear your news. What has got into him???

chops22

Thinking of you, bet today has been pretty dreadful.
I am sure eventually you and the kids will find away to get through this.

hypno06

DeeDeeinDooDoo wrote: »

So, so sorry to hear your news. What has got into him???

mid life crisis **insert shrugged shoulders smiley AND roll eyes smiley here**

taxi73

OMG..so sorry..wasn't expecting that news and certainly explains the sleepless nights.
You are a strong woman and will get through this and will manage ..you've already given it all a great deal of thought and seem to have sorted most stuff.
Hugs for you and the kids xx

se999

So sad to hear your news Hypno :grouphug:

No wonder you've been quiet this week.

Sorry to add a practical note, but there's the 25% council tax reduction for single adult occupancy, so you need to notify them asap when OH leaves.

beanielou

So sorry to hear your news Hypno.
As you say now your focus has to shift & thats ok.
It wont be easy & sometimes it will seem very hard but you off all people can do this.
Huggles hun xxx

hypno06

se999 wrote: »

Sorry to add a practical note, but there's the 25% council tax reduction for single adult occupancy, so you need to notify them asap when OH leaves.

All practical stuff has been dealt with - it is one of the things I am good at.....my budget is as "clean" as it can be, utilities transferred into my name, council tax reduction arranged, joint bank accounts now sole bank accounts and so on and so forth.

I may be crap at the emotional side of things, and mentally am a bit of a wreck.....but if there is a discount to be had, I am on the ball