Does anyone else go through phases where they just dont like their OH?

MrsBuble_2

Apologies for the rant, but I just need to air!

We recently moved to the opposite end of the country to improve DH's chances of getting the job of his dreams. I'm 17 weeks pregnant and struggling. We're stopping for friends till he gets a new job and we can sort out a new house....

Thats just a bit of background, and this may just all be my pregnancy hormones but sometimes I just looked at my DH and think "I dont like you very much today"...

Today he's had a go at me in sainsburys over money, because he wants my refund to pay off his outstanding car debt, despite us having council tax arrears from our old house etc.

And then I had the tv on in living room and was watching something about Michael Jackson, quite enjoying it and keeping myself to myself. He was sat reading. He then just takes the remote and changes the channel.
I said I was watching that, and his answer was its been on for ages, im bored of it... I told him there was 20 minutes left, could I just watch till the end, and apparently because im cooking dinner soon (am i?!) he can watch stupid episodes of the simpsons which hes already seen!

I've already told him today im having a really rough day and really struggling with pregnancy, heartburn, sickness and a cold, and i couldnt face cooking, so all he's said is "well just whack something in the oven for me then"

:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

And its just really bugging me today, most days I would just ignore him..... but im just seething lately....

neneromanova

I'm only 6 weeks pregnant with my 2nd child and I sometimes feel like that. It is very much Hormones. I do feel for you very much as my last pregnancy I was a moody wotsit (Not saying you are moody). Just explain to him that you are feeling very touchy and would appreciate some help and understanding. If he says anything that you don't like, just pop out for a walk or just sit there until he gets up and says "fine, i'll get some dinner then"

Good Luck

Errata

I'd probably offer to whack his head in the oven, but that's just me.
Looks like you are both under a lot of strain - no jobs, lodging with friends etc.
Can you talk to him about how you're feeling about everything and ask him to tell you how he's feeling about everything? If you can you might see a way forward for you as a couple and for what the future holds for the baby.

Metranil_Vavin

Men are pretty clueless at times and sensitivity can often be lacking!

If I was you I'd just turn the telly back over to what you were watching and tell him to go and get himself some dinner sorted out as you're not feeling well.

MrsBuble_2

in another fit, ive told him when I said i wasnt well enough to cook food, that meant his as well...

so he's now gone out to buy himself a takeaway, and with any luck will take up housemates offer of going out to poker night and just leaving me alone for a while......

i think it may be hormones and the fact that we are literally with each other all the time..... with neither of us working, and the weather being horrid, we're just indoors together, and its not like its our house so we feel a bit like we've got to keep out the way....

sometimes i just dont think he appreciates just how rubbish i am feeling, everything is such an effort for me, and i just want him to know whether he's got this job or not. If not, then we've agreed he has to let it go and move on....

oh well, thanks for letting me offload all. i'll try and chat to him again tonight or tomorrow when things are calmer....

Errata

Sounds like the pair of you are going stir crazy. Can you sort out how you can spend several hours a day apart ? It might make a difference.
BTW - tell him in words of one syllable how you feel - every ache and twinge, every stress and strain. Just like dogs, men can't read minds.

MrsBuble_2

thats one thing ive always tried not to do, is assume that he just knows......

Ive tried explaining to him that overwhelming tiredness, what heartburn feels like, what would be helpful, things that ive noticed make it better or worse etc, and Ive tried involving him in the pregnancy as well, especially when I started feeling baby move, but even then he seemed totally uninterested.....

who knows..... maybe i'l suggest he goes to poker tonight. its £5 for the night, and right now id rather lose £5 than have to put up with him all night...

tandraig

I read the thread title and thought 'jeez, only most of the time!'. a glib answer and not really true.
been married now for 34 years 3 kids and 6 grandkids, my OH is a great dad and grand-dad and has many fine qualities - unfortunately sensitivity to me isnt one of them. so we often bicker or have standup fights (no fisticuffs tho - he knows I am capable of decking him). but he does that remote thing with tv too. I dont usually care as i am mostly reading or knitting or on here - but on the rare occasions there is something I want to watch - i usually just take the remote switch it back then hide the remote and tell him he can have it back when prog finished. hint - my hiding place is in the box with the iron - I can guarantee he wont look in there!
most days i try to take the little annoyances in my stride - but in your situation i can see how it would make me see red! you are right to have a chat with him later to tell him how lousy you are feeling - but, after 34 years i have learned to baby him a little first and deal with his worries before bringing up mine. and you never know hun, by doing that you may find your niggles get sorted out on the way.
good luck later - and i hope he shares his takeaway with you!

1more?

mrsbuble im on baby #3 & my dh still doesnt get it, the other day he said "jesus you`ve had 2 before" gggrrrr luckly for him i found it quite funny as he was cooking tea at the time but any other time i may of bit his head off or burst out crying
i think you have alot going on & it always seams worse when your pg try to relax & calm down now hes out, count to ten or punch pillows what ever makes you feel good xx

MrsBuble_2

thanks xx

hes not gone out (grrrrr)

but im going to spend a couple of hours in the bathroon, with a hot bath, book, some body scrub and some "please dont let me get" stretch mark lotion..

delain

I feel like that too sometimes.

Love him to bits, but sometimes feel like he doesn't understand me at all.

Oh well.

Keep soldiering on, I'll be thinking of you!

P.S where have you moved to? you might be able to meet some lovely MSE people for coffee