There's more to life than shoes - Shoe Gal's 2010 diary

Buffythedebtslayer

Its hard, when you have lots of good friends to admit it. How can I been lonely? I could go out every night if I wanted. I could always have company. And here too - all my lovely friends here. But sometimes I just wish I could have what I want, my friends all have it. I so know what you about the what ifs with a man. it taunts me cos like you guys I do ok really but then something happens and it upsets the apple cart. I get really sick of being on my own.

Shoe_Gal

And it's hard to admit that you want somebody 'special' in your life. Just because I can look after myself doesn't mean I always want to! It doesn't make me a bad person

beanielou

Shoe_Gal wrote: »

And it's hard to admit that you want somebody 'special' in your life. Just because I can look after myself doesn't mean I always want to! It doesn't make me a bad person

No it does not make you a bad person at all.
It makes you a much nicer human being TBH.

Buffythedebtslayer

Exactly Shoegal. EXACTLY.

I feel like such a freak for even hinting that I might want a man who "belongs" to me who I can share my life with. My friends have all got used to me being the Single One. I mean the group holiday this year was all couples and every one just assumed I wouldn't mind - and as far as they are concerned I didn't but actually I would have loved to go away with someone.

I think at times it is just hard. We get through it and it gets easy again just at the moment we are doing it a bit tough.

hugs all round xx

Shoe_Gal

Thanks girls, you are so kind - and so wise

Am off to bed now, remember - tomorrow is another day

Buffythedebtslayer

Have lovely dreams Shoe gal

good night xxxxx

beanielou

Sweet dreams Shoe & Buffy xxxx

Souk08

Oh ladies, sorry you feel down and sad. Wish I was there to give big hugs. Shoesy there's nothing wrong in admitting whatever you want and a true friend will understand, but be warned they may make you take some action to getting it! Have read a bit in mags in all my travels over the last few weeks about our generation(ish) and how lonely and dissatisfied we all are. Basic advice seems to be count your blessings, sounds trite but it could work. Also not to think that everyone else is having a great time as they're probably not! My mate who's had some real carp in the last few years writes down some positive things every day and she says it really helps her.

Re the man thing we all feel vulnerable at times, yes even me, I just refuse to give into it and act like a cling on! Sitting in my shoes I would say the opposite to you girls, most of my mates think i am secretly gagging for a bloke and if I 'admitted' it they'd be delighted so you might be surprised if you did the same. I think it's seen as the norm to want to be with someone and it's oddballs like me who have to put up with the constant 'but if you meet someone nice, you'll maybe change your mind/calm down/stop getting drunk with gays on a Tuesday' type chat.

Re the what next, is this it? type chat I avoid monotony and boredom by planning (cheap) things to do. Have lots to look forward to, admit you feel down and reach out to friends who will help and be there for you. We all have sad days but we all do so well to get on MSE and support others in the first place. Think of the great friends/family etc that you have and all the fun you've had in life and if you haven't then now is the time. When I was much skinter than I am now i used to buy 2 £1.99 pizzas, a £3 red wine, some 59p garlic bread and a whoopsied dessert and me and a mate would put the world put to rights for less than a tenner. I know it all adds up but mental health comes first!

Excuse the rambly post (i'm not even drunk!) but just my tuppenceworth. XXX

Swinstie73

Hey Shoegal,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so down *hugs*

I was in the exact same position a few years ago after yet another short term fling ended, I remember one night almost smashing my house up with frustration as I was so lonely and felt like I'd never meet anyone. Mostly it was the loneliness cos I seriously didn't think a man would change things. After speaking to friends in relationships, I realised that actually I had it better than them, I could do as I pleased, have the house as un-tidy as I wanted etc., now I'm with someone, yes it's better and I don't feel alone BUT sometimes it's nice to be alone IYSWIM! Wasn't supposed to be seeing OH until the weekend, he's now coming down tomorrow night which is nice but I kind of had plans - only to laze around eating & watching tv - but still now I need to get the house tidied (it's a state) tonight instead of having til Saturday to do it.

So my point is, if you're lowness is man related, just remember the grass isn't always greener. As for this particular man, be aloof with him and act interested but in a 'not really that bothered way', if he is meant to be he'll do the chasing. This is exactly how I acted with OH and he says he still gets butterflies after 3.5 years (me, not so much so - bad I know) but it works!

Take care, remember you are fabulous xx

Souk08

Hope you feel better today lovey X Wondering if we all need some sort of shake up challenge. I'm okay but not as fit and healthy as I should be and starting my new job is a great chance to change all that. What do you think? Been having a look at the '43 things' website where people talk about goals and things. It's interesting and a major goal is always a good kick up the aris. I read about it in one of those magazine articles I was rambling about above. Could we all motivate each other to do more and sort ourselves out with whatever needs sorting? I'm up for it if you lot are? Have also been reading Dragons Wake up Call Challenge a bit and it's interesting to, looking at your life under certain categories. XXX