2010: New Year, New Flat, New Plan.........

ehallett

Evening all

Why is the weekend so short? Not looking forward to going into work tomorrow. We moved into the room next to my manager on Friday. That was bad enough but my boss wasn't even in on Friday. Will be 10 times worse tomorrow. Fortunately, I am only there until 1pm as I have the hospital. I will also find out tomorrow if I can take the 2 months off unpaid.

Went to see Valentine's Day this afternoon. It's 4 years today since my dad died so we wanted to take my mum's mind off it. It was a good film, but a bit long!

Just spent the last 3 hours listing items on eBay for OH as his laptop has packed up. Told him none of that when I am self-employed!!

Going to try and get an early night, if I can stop thinking about work that is!

Emily x

ehallett

Hi everyone

Time for an update. It has been agreed that I can take the 2 months off work unpaid. I also spoke to HR and said why I was doing this and they said that if it worked out, then they would agree to let me quit work straight away - ie no notice period so I may never have to go back to work again after 31st March :j.

So my self-employment plan is to earn £60 a day. This can be from AQA, mystery shopping or anything else. I figure this will help to keep me from doing the same things all the time. When I have secured my £60 for the day, I will concentrate on competitions. Hopefully, with a few wins, I can put some money aside for emergencies or clearing my debts.

Can't wait to get started now.

Emily x

Buffythedebtslayer

That is excellent news Emily, I was catching up and hoping you would decide to give it a shot - so pleased to see you have !Brilliant news

Big congratulatory hugs !! and a Happy Self employed future

Buffy xxxx

beanielou

Great news hun.

ehallett

24 working days to go at work!! Plus I have 3.5 days holiday left so really only 20.5 days left :j. My boss doesn't work Fridays so tomorrow will feel like a day off anyway.

I'm going for a long overdue eye test tomorrow. Getting 1,000 Advantage points and will claim the £20 back from work before I leave .

Also booked some free tickets to see The Blind Side on Sunday 7th March. Love a good freebie.

Emily xx

Tinkerbell3

I was having a relaxing evening at thought i'd have a read through some threads on here and when i came across yours because you mentioned you have CF it caught my eye.
I wasn't going to reply as what im about to post I haven't ever mentioned to anyone but my mum but I just felt after reading your two diarys i couldn't just leave without offering you my story and advice.
I hope this post doesn't turn out too long :beer:

I'm 26, suffer with CF myself and up till and year and about 9 months ago was in about £18-£20,000 debt that I just felt like I couldn't ever see a way out off.

Please, please, please do not make yourself ill by working yourself into the ground trying to pay your debts off, it just really isn't worth it.
I know what its like to have run up a large amount of debt and get to the point where you think enough is enough you need to stop and try to work them off and then cause yourself more stress in trying to do so.
When I first started getting into debt (relising it was a problem) i was in full time work and decided i need to try and get it cleared while i still could, but it ended up proving alot more difficult and stressful than I thought it would be. If the stress of trying to keeping ourselves as well as we can and the added stress of work isn't enough the pressure of trying to get the debt paid of and feeling like i was working for nothing because all my money was going to that (even though I only had myself to blame) in the end my health was suffering from all the stress, the tiredness of working full time was becoming a problem as my body just wasn't have the time to recover if i was feeling run down, my lung function had dropped and th pressure was just all too much. I woke up one day and basically decided debt or no debt I had to start putting my health first if i ever wanted the thought of a future where i could enjoy some of my life and I decided it was time cut my work down to part time, it still didn't work for me and I decided the best decision i could make was to give up work and concentrate on keeping myself well and maybe trying to still clear my debt as quick as possible.
It took a lot to come to the decision, to stop working at 23 and alot of swolling my pride at the thought of a few years at least on benefits and even worse using this money to pay of debts that I had got myself into, it should have been my own problem to sort out. One I gave up work and started claming Incapacity benefit (which if you gave up work due to your health you would be entitled to along side your DLA) I set up a DMP as i figured it would be the best way to deal with all my creditors espcially now as I wasn't working. I was completely shocked at the time frame they gave me as to when my debts would be cleared, i just wanted to cry all the time. As you know having CF we have a shorter life expectancy than your average healthy person and i personally don't like to think to far in the future (more than a couple of years because things with us can change so quickly) and I couldn't believe how long they said it would take till i was debt free (it was about 5 years, maybe 6), I still wanted to have some sort of life after my debts were cleared and enjoy my life and doing things while it was all still possible and as you know we can't be sure that in 5-10 years we will even be able to have holidays, have a life without oxygen or even still be here.
I gave this all ago for about a year and still in this time was feeling stressed out, feeling like I still didn't have any money to enjoy any sort of life, have a holiday all the things that people like to do and if the worst happened you could say to yourself 'well at least i did so & so and enjoyed my life while I was able)

In April 2007 after alot of thinking, i relised that the only way i was ever going to be free, happy, and really concentrate on my life, enjoying it and have my health being my main priority was to say goodbye to my debts once and for all. It took alot to come to the decision, it wasn't easy the last thing I wanted to do was feel like i was just taking the easy route out but at the end of the day we only get one oppertunity at life, and ours has a big threat of being shortened as it is I didn't want to waste it. Living my live miserable, stressed and feeling like there wasn't much point. So I decided to declare myself bankrupt, till this day only my mum knows and if you don't want to tell anybody you have done it you don't need to.
Honestly it was the best decision that I could have made, my health has turned around, i know longer feel like i have this huge weight on my shoulders that I'm not sure if will ever go, my lung function is the higest it has been in years (about 7) and i'm sure you know at our age it's really important to keep it has good as we possibly can and the more stressed and tired we get the harder it is to fight any infection or any other virus or phase of our bodies just being run down and the longer these phases, infection runs on the more long term damage is being done that cannot be fixed.
It's not good living a life where we wish we had done this, and hadn't done things like we had basically a life of regrets thats cannot be changed. I know have money in my purse, if i like something i will buy it, i will save money for more bigger purchases and I also enjoy a holiday which i really think is important, it gives sometime just to get away from normal at home life, totally relax and it's needed. I will NEVER have another credit card/store card or any sort of credit again i never want to return to the place I was at a few years ago.

My aunt who also had CF like you pushed herself to keep working, she was in debt, had a mortage to pay which if she didn't work would have straggled to pay with just my uncles wage and really just wanted to enjoy having a job, it helped her to feel like the CF wasn't running her life. She finally decided to give up work in november 2008 after just not being able to do it any longer, it was such a hard decision for her but one that had to be done. She was admitted in to hospital and deteriated very quickly infact over christmas 2008 they didn't know if she would make it but she pulled through and was let home early january 2009 she then spent most of 2009 in and out of hospital and was admitted again in the middle of september and sadly never got to go home again. She passed away on october 28th 2009 aged 42, it was a week before her appointment for a lung transplant assesment. Her lungs just damaged so quickly, her body was so run down and exausted from pushing herself to work and work stress, she didn't have the strength to fight of infections and it took over her body so quickly. In less than a year her lung function had gone from 50% to nothing.
Although she was working has the stresses of that, stress of debt she also enjoyed her life, made sure she did all the things she wanted to, took the holidays she wanted and she was glad that she at least lived a life she enjoyed and had good, happy memories from.

I guess is all im really trying to get across is please don't live a life where its full of stress, unhappyness and wishes of how you want it to be, life is to short you need to take every opertunity you can that will help and if that means quitting work and claiming incapacity benefit or even declaring yourself bankrupt then so be it.

Talk to your landlord and explain that you may need to give up work even if it is temporary and ask if they will accept housing benefit (if you are on incapacity you should be entitled to this and will get your rent paid)

If there is anything i can help you with please feel free to PM me and i will try to answer best i can

Please give yourself a break, don't beat yourself up about what you have done in the past and look to a happy and healthy (ish) future.


I know some people will probaly judge me from this post and think im pathetic, took the easy route out and gawd knows what else but i can assure you it wasn't an easy decision and untill you have been in the exact position i ask you not to judge!

ms_london

ehallett wrote: »

Hi everyone

Time for an update. It has been agreed that I can take the 2 months off work unpaid. I also spoke to HR and said why I was doing this and they said that if it worked out, then they would agree to let me quit work straight away - ie no notice period so I may never have to go back to work again after 31st March :j.

So my self-employment plan is to earn £60 a day. This can be from AQA, mystery shopping or anything else. I figure this will help to keep me from doing the same things all the time. When I have secured my £60 for the day, I will concentrate on competitions. Hopefully, with a few wins, I can put some money aside for emergencies or clearing my debts.

Can't wait to get started now.

Emily x

Hi Emily

You really are an inspiration and I am happy for you that you can have the 2 months off work - I don't think you'll have any problems in that time with making your required earnings via AQA etc as you have the determination to make things work and seem to put the effort in.

As you say, life is too short and you should make the most of your life now while your health is on your side - who says you have to work a 40 hour week? If you can afford to work less and have a better quality of life (more money doesn't necessarily equal better quality), why the hell not??!!!

What is it you do for work? Your job (or more the people) sounds like hell, can you use this time to look for something else aswell? Knowing you have a job to go back to in 2 months but perhaps a better one would make you feel better in yourself too.

Keep up the good work, you really are something hun (and put me to shame!).

Have a good weekend

ms_london

Tinkerbell3 wrote: »

I know some people will probaly judge me from this post and think im pathetic, took the easy route out and gawd knows what else but i can assure you it wasn't an easy decision and untill you have been in the exact position i ask you not to judge!

Hi Tinkerbell

I can't even begin to imagine what you have been through and how it feels to live with CF (as with you Emily). I am sorry to hear about your aunt too!

Anyone with half a heart wouldn't think you are pathetic, I admire you. Until someone can walk a mile in your shoes, they shouldn't be in a position to judge.

I have a life long health condition which does affect my day to day health, however, not comparable to CF, so I do understand how important health is and that should be your priority. It is YOUR life.... you have to live it how is best for you, sod everyone else!

xx

beanielou

Tinkerbell~thank you so much for sharing that.
No one in there right mind could thinki you pathetic.
Take care xx

Tinkerbell3

ms_london wrote: »

Hi Tinkerbell

I can't even begin to imagine what you have been through and how it feels to live with CF (as with you Emily). I am sorry to hear about your aunt too!

Anyone with half a heart wouldn't think you are pathetic, I admire you. Until someone can walk a mile in your shoes, they shouldn't be in a position to judge.

I have a life long health condition which does affect my day to day health, however, not comparable to CF, so I do understand how important health is and that should be your priority. It is YOUR life.... you have to live it how is best for you, sod everyone else!

xx

beanielou wrote: »

Tinkerbell~thank you so much for sharing that.
No one in there right mind could thinki you pathetic.
Take care xx

Thank you.
I've never mentioned to anybody as i say apart from my mum that i declared bankrupt and have never shared the story of what i went through/done but when i read Emilys diary here i just felt i needed to reply so she knew someone had been through what she is going through and i wanted to advice her to try and help