2010: New Year, New Flat, New Plan.........

beanielou

Take it easy hun xxx

ehallett

Thought I had better post again, been letting it slack recently.

I am feeling much better now, managed to get a decent night's sleep last night so will be back at work on Monday.

I have also kept up with my questions this month, 50 a day which so far equals £195 . 50 a day seems to be really manageable for me.

Not much else to report at the moment, not been spending anything as I have been ill.

I hope everyone has a lovely Valentine's Day tomorrow :smileyhea

Emily x

ehallett

Hi everyone

I am back at work now. Feel awfully tired though. Don't know why as I am managing to sleep ok now (get up a few times but chuck my cough mixture down my throat and it sends me off again).

My work is really annoying me at the moment. The horrible manager is in full flow again, digging at us all. It's like she chips away at us with horrible comments and piling more and more work on us everyday. I know that one of us is going to explode soon and tell her to @!*$ off!! I think work is draining the life out of me.

I was thinking earlier today about things and my life. Most people go through life thinking that they only have another 20-30 years of work left and then they can retire and rest for a good 10-20 years and enjoy themselves.

However, I won't get that chance. I know that I could live into my 30's, 40's or maybe even 50's - but 60's?? Very slim chance of making it that far. So where is my retirement? Why should I have to work all my life? I know that eventually my health will force me to quit work, but then surely I will be too ill and tired to do anything! I want to be able to enjoy my life whilst I still can. I don't want to look back on it and think that all I did was work. I know I only work 30 hours a week but still feel like I am always there. I also know that I could change jobs, but I have had so many jobs before and they have always ended up the same. I have also always thought that if I could concentrate on my health then maybe I would live longer.

So what is stopping me just quitting my job? Money of course!! I have a mountain of debt, bills to pay and I wouldn't be eligible for any benefits (other than the DLA I already get) because I would probably be assessed as ok to work. However, I want to try and prolong my life, stop myself from getting to that point where I have to give up work.

To be honest, if I didn't have the debt, I would probably hand in my notice tomorrow. I know that I could get enough money from my questions, mystery shopping, DLA and other bits to cover my rent and bills. After all, 50 questions a day on the questions is £450 a month, my DLA is around £300 a month (and will go up in April) so I would only need to get another £100-£200 a month from other bits like mystery shopping. If I wasn't working, that would be easy. I know I have to pay tax on my earnings and already do.

I would love to 'retire' (well, go self-employed really) from my 30th birthday. I figure that would give me enough time to enjoy my life for a bit before my health gets worse. However, I owe just over £30k and can't see me being able to pay that off in just over a year!! My DMP will clear just over £10k of that before my 30th and I will be 33 before I am debt free (according to CCCS) so looks like I will just have to keep working until then .

Sorry if this sounds selfish at all. I know there are people out there who work and are ill too. I am just feeling really fed up today and so tired. Nearly 29 years of this rubbish has taken its toll on me I think. I am due at the hospital again tomorrow so they can try to get some blood out of me which I am dreading after last week.

Well done if you have read all of my waffling!! Hopefully my next post will be more cheery!

Emily xx

beanielou

Dont apologise hun.
Life is hard enough but lets be honest for peeps with ill health its bleeping difficult.
Have you thought about going bankrupt?
No shame in thinking about it is there.
Your health is the most important thing so try to cherish it as much as you can.
Take this in the spirit in which it is meant xxx

ehallett

beanielou wrote: »

Dont apologise hun.
Life is hard enough but lets be honest for peeps with ill health its bleeping difficult.
Have you thought about going bankrupt?
No shame in thinking about it is there.
Your health is the most important thing so try to cherish it as much as you can.
Take this in the spirit in which it is meant xxx

Thanks Lou :A.

I don't really want to go bankrupt. I'm not sure if that would jeopardise where I am living now when it comes to renewing my lease. Also my family don't know about my level of debt and therefore I just want to clear it the best I can but bankruptcy is public knowledge.

I guess I am just going to have to set my 'retirement' date as March 2014 at the latest. Hopefully, I may be able to get debt free before then. I have been playing with the debt free quicker calculator on the CCCS website and even adding another £13 to my monthly payment will get me debt free a month earlier.

Who knows, maybe I will win some money and be able to pay one of the debts off and increase my payment that way. I have received the make-up set that I won and am going to sell it and use the money for some stamps or maybe phone credit to enter more comps.

Emily x

beanielou

Of course it is your decision but bankrupcy is not a public statment.
noone would know adpart from your creditors.
It doesent go in the paper or anything.
I just feel its such a lot for you on your own to pay off.
You really deserve to be able to enjoy your life without making yourself ill worrying about debt TBH.

ehallett

Hi everyone

Just seems that I come on here and moan these days. Work is getting worse and worse. I feel so tired all the time, and I know it's not because I am ill or doing too much, it's because work is draining the life out of me. I get so annoyed and stressed whilst I'm there that I just come home and feel knackered.

My manager is just awful and it is going to get worse from next week as we are moving into a room next to her's with an adjoining door!! She wants the door open all the time so she will basically be in the next room to us.

Work are currently offering people the chance to take up to 2 months off unpaid as they are trying to make cuts in the budget. I am so tempted to do this, I can't tell you. If I did this, my plan would be to make my main wage from my questions and it would also give me the chance to do other things more like mystery shopping and competitions.

I would also be free to stay at home if I was feeling a bit ropey, I could get a lay in everyday, I believe that I would be a hell of a lot more chilled out.

Obviously, the main problem would be not having a guaranteed regular income. However, I really think I could make enough to pay my bills, rent and DMP. I have worked out a time schedule which would enable to me to get enough from the questions to cover my wages. I think I could actually end up making more money in the long run.

If I could manage this for 2 months and it benefitted my health, I would most definitely quit my job and do it full-time. However, if it didn't work out, then I would have my old job to go back to.

What does everyone think of this as an idea? I have until the end of February to decide and could do it during April and May.

Emily x

beanielou

An excellent idea.
Go for it & see how it goes.
Nothing ventured, nothing gained & all that.

postingalwaysposting

ehallett wrote: »

What does everyone think of this as an idea? I have until the end of February to decide and could do it during April and May.

Emily x

Emily, as you know I am a long-time lurker on you threads and I have been so sad reading you are as 'down' as you are. To me it seems like work is taking everything out of you and you are recieving nothing back in return (ie support/respect/time off/pay). Even doing the shorter hours you still dont get any 'me' time because you are so worn out after being there for such a long time. As you say your health isnt getting any better and as you know there will come a time where it will slowly become worse...

I think you should take the two months unpaid. As long as you are sure you can cover your basics and your DMP I see no problem. Also as you say you can get up later and enjoy the day without worrying about how your workplace will react to you. Plus there is no pressure on you, if you set yourself a min amount of questions to do each day as long as they are done you are then 'free' to relax. Obviously you could do more in that time frame but it would be on your terms.

I think you should try it, as beanie says nothing ventured nothing gained. The worse thing that could happen is you have two very frugal months and return to work. The best that could happen is you realised you can do AQA as a 'full' time job and ditch work or go p/t (although I am sure you are p/t already).

However you have to decide for you, of course we could tell you to do lots of things but ultimetly its down to you. If you want the time off and the chance to 'try' using just AQA as an income this is as good a time as any as you know you have a job to go back too.

As always, hugs and well wishes :A

ehallett

Thanks for replying Lou and Pap :A

I think I am going to have to give it a shot at least. Life is too short (especially mine) and I am fed up with feeling down about work. It will be nice to be able to run my own life and be my own boss.

Hopefully I can make it work and will be able to give up work altogether. Then when my debt is paid off, I can just slow down and earn money for my rent and bills and anything else that I want or need.

Emily x