family, what would you do?!

Marcheline

Yeah but maybe you WILL be able to go in the future. If this is their way of trying to get in touch again, you may be able to rebuild a relationship with them and so you could all go to see them, not just your dad and baby.

factor29

Marcheline wrote: »

Yeah but maybe you WILL be able to go in the future. If this is their way of trying to get in touch again, you may be able to rebuild a relationship with them and so you could all go to see them, not just your dad and baby.

I dont know if thats a risk i want to take though . I think i need to be 110% sure theyve changed and are willing to give things a go

Bennifred

Am I the only one who thinks they've got a bit of a cheek wanting to see YOUR daughter but not you? You should come as a package, surely - especially as she is so young. What does the baby's mother think about all this?

factor29

Bennifred wrote: »

Am I the only one who thinks they've got a bit of a cheek wanting to see YOUR daughter but not you? You should come as a package, surely - especially as she is so young. What does the baby's mother think about all this?

she agrees completely that baby shouldnt see them when theyve selfishly missed out on so much

Marcheline

It's not a risk if you ring them beforehand and say you would like to go round too in the hope of rebuilding a relationship with them and see what they say. If you don't contact them, you'll never know whether "they've changed".

Also, it's not too big a risk yet as your child is only 18 months old and won't remember the meeting.

Personally, I think life's too short and I think you should do everything you can to patch it up with them. If they still turn their back, at least you know you did everything you could.

elantan

i kinda agree with what bennifred said ...honestly it is up to you ...but i would say dont allow anyone to force you into something you are not happy with ... stand up for your family and what is best for you all ...not whats best for those external family members ...good luck with it

valkirn

Bennifred wrote: »

Am I the only one who thinks they've got a bit of a cheek wanting to see YOUR daughter but not you? You should come as a package, surely - especially as she is so young. What does the baby's mother think about all this?

Im with you on this one, i personally would have told them where to get off.... and im a mum.

Whilst i agree its only right for them to want to get to know there great grandchild they should have done so earlier. im in a similar situation but with my eldest daughters uncle (shes 10 and he's never been interested in his brothers child now he's getting married and his betrothed thinks it would be nice if she was a flower girl) so arranged to conveniently be at his brothers house when he knew our daughter (normally he stays well away) would be there to ask his brothers permission (he wouldnt dare ask me)

My stance on this is if you want your daughter to have a relationship with them then they should approach you about it not arrange things with what is seen as a more agreeable member of the family behind your back

Stephb1986_2

Tbh love life is far to short to bare grudges. I lost my grandad 6 years ago and my nan 3 years ago I miss them everyday. My partners grandad died just over a week ago and his funeral was on friday it really brought it back to me just how much I miss my grandparents. My partner doesn't understand how lucky he is to have grandparents still it's awful not having them not being able to share the good times in life like getting engaged getting married having a child.

So make friends before it's too late.

Steph xx

busiscoming2

I would insist that you visit as a family you, partner and dd and your dad too, if that would make things easier.

I would say though, life is too short and they must feel that too, surely? Has your dad tried to talk to them about their relationship with you?

CAFCGirl

Hmmm tough call...

Im with a lot of people in that you will a) want to protect your child from being caught up in any remaining negativity in the air and that b) you come as a package deal......

However like some others mentionned, perhaps they view this as a way to sow the seeds of regaining a relationship...
I heard once "Babies, weddings and funerals have the ability to drive a wedge or heal a wound".....

Plus given their age, they're probably very proud, and probably wouldnt even dream to pick up the phone and say sorry..... same way as my grandparents have never outright said to me that they love me, but I know they do..... Sometimes they are just a little stunted verbally...

Comprimise (possibly) suggest to your Dad, you'd love them to have the chance to meet your baby, and your partner (if you're still with baby's mum), basically YOUR family, and that you, your family, your dad, your mum (if shes still around and involved etc) will all be going out for a quiet sunday lunch at a i dunno brewers fayre or beefeater or whatever, and you'd love it if they could come along to say hello....

That way you are extending your olive branch, you're there with your baby, its in neutral ground (and public) and if they dont want to go, and tell your dad no just bring the baby to our house, then you'll know that nothing has really changed, and therefore why want your baby have anything to do with people like that...

Sorry if that last bit sounded a bit harsh, I couldnt think how to word it....

You may get there, they turn up and they act like nothings happened, in which case, a good place to start repairing things, perhaps they'll even say sorry when they see what you've made of your life...... or perhaps they'll ignore you the whole time, in which case, it just cements the last two years and you can move on....

Bad form on their part to put your dad in the middle though...

Just my 2p's worth, hope ive not caused any offence.....