Visiting a home with a dog - baby in tow

MrsTinks

But there is a world of difference between visiting a household with a responcible owner and a calm/welbehaved dog. I would never suggest people bring small children here without letting us know first because I KNOW my dog gets extreemly excited (and you CAN'T knacker her out!) - so we make sure someone has hold of the dog or shut her out the back till everyone is in and settled in the livingroom and then to her disgust she will get shut in the hall with a treat. IF people are happy to meet her then we'll let her in but any children would be slowly introduced - not that I think she'd ever bite them but there is a fair whack in the tail and apparently not all children want a full facial wash... go figure!
On the other hand one of my best friends has a dog that is NOT visitor friendly - now whilst I can handle that I didn't feel comfortable when I saw her reaction (very jealous) to my baby so she was shut out the room and unfortunately it will mean we won't be able to visit there until DD is a lot older or the dog has passed away... If they invited us then I'd explain why I think it would be unfair on the dog (ie I simply don't trust her around the baby) and invite them here instead - or if they offered to shut her away from the baby then fair enough I'd certainly give it a try - but I wouldn't make it a condition
So far it hasn't stopped me seeing them in the least - they just come here more

Ruby_Moon

SugarSpun wrote: »

I'm looking for some advice, please. My brother has a miniature Schnauzer, it's a barking dog and doesn't like people coming into its territory. It's never bitten, but will bark loudly and sometimes growl.

My husband, four-month-old baby and I are visiting my family over Christmas, and we've asked that the dog not be allowed in the room with the baby. The dog has never met a child before.

The problem isn't the dog, per se, so much as my brother and my parents. They seem not to understand my concerns and don't believe that the dog's going to be a problem. I can see my brother, especially, deliberately letting the dog in. The baby's frightened by loud noises, and I'm worried that her crying will spur the dog on to louder barking, which will make her cry louder and ... you get the picture. My husband had a scary encounter with a dog when he was young and ended up with a long-term fear of dogs. We don't want the small one to have the same fear.

Is there any way I can minimise disruption for dog and baby in a way that means we still get to go to their house? And is there any way to quickly calm an upset dog or is the easiest thing just to remove the baby (and ourselves, obviously)?

By asking to keep the dog out of the room and turning this into a big worry is the exact type of thing that will give your child a phobia of dogs.
Can you not let it be as it is?
You are visiting family at Christmas. Its a time for everyone to be happy with each other and your family won't be happy to exclude the dog and you won't be happy with the dog near unless you let go of this worry.
You can't protect your child from every loud noise either. It is good for children to hear noise when they sleep as it helps them to be able to ignore noise and sleep better.
If it really bothers you so much, don't go but don't ask them to leave their dog out of their room, it is, afterall, their house and they wouldn't ask you to leave baby in another room would they?
There is absolutely no reason why the dog would be any problem for you given that the room will be full of adults too.

SugarSpun

MrsT, Ruby, if the dog was a well trained, well behaved dog I'd have no problem at all with it being gently introduced to the baby. It isn't - and frankly the lack of discipline, walks and pack order it receives breaks my heart.

I suggested we not go at all, because their coming here isn't an option (we don't have room for them and hotels here shut down at Christmas, not to mention the dog would have to go to kennels) - but that caused a lot of ill-feeling so we agreed to go. We can't afford two weeks in a hotel so our options for accommodation are severely limited, and in any case staying somewhere else would also cause serious family arguments.

I want to find a compromise, and I think the lead is a good one if they'll agree to it. He's a fast mover, but the baby will always be within reach of someone.

mrcol1000

Don't go and visit them until they get the dog trained not to go for people. Most dog owners are fine but some dog owners seem to be unwilling (or unable) to deal with their dogs behaviour or even aware that their behaviour is wrong. It is good for a dog to alert you to someone at the door or even outside but thats where the dogs role ends. It should be trained to alert then wait for its owner to take over. My dog goes crazy at the door and soon as I get to the door runs to her bed and will sit there waiting to see who it is.
If you refuse to go (and I appericate thats not as easy as it sounds) and make it clear why your not going and won't be going until the dog is trained. I know it sounds harsh but its not your job to train the dog and why put yourself in danger and those small dogs are often worse than the stereotypical dogs the media protray as dangerous. Especially with the baby. You can always offer to meet somewhere else minus the dog.
End of the day people who won't accept their dog is a nusiance or do anything about the nusiance need to learn that its not acceptable. They do not need to be pandered too with people putting up with the behaviour.

cyberbob

Ruby_Moon wrote: »

By asking to keep the dog out of the room and turning this into a big worry is the exact type of thing that will give your child a phobia of dogs.
Can you not let it be as it is?
You are visiting family at Christmas. Its a time for everyone to be happy with each other and your family won't be happy to exclude the dog and you won't be happy with the dog near unless you let go of this worry.
You can't protect your child from every loud noise either. It is good for children to hear noise when they sleep as it helps them to be able to ignore noise and sleep better.
If it really bothers you so much, don't go but don't ask them to leave their dog out of their room, it is, afterall, their house and they wouldn't ask you to leave baby in another room would they?
There is absolutely no reason why the dog would be any problem for you given that the room will be full of adults too.

Have you actually met a dog before or even got one? I really wonder reading some of your posts. A dog can quite easily do a lot of damage to a child just by being over excited. Any sensible person if they have visitors will either keep there dog under control or if that is not possible remove the dog from the situation. As you said in one of your other posts dogs are not children so comparing them to leaving a baby out of the room is just silly.

We have visitors if they like dogs and are happy we let ours greet them, but if they don't i have no problems placing him in another room with his toys. He is happy also.

I have friends with babies also I would never let a dog be in a room with a baby without proper control and supervision. People enjoying themselves at Christmas is not proper supervision. There has been numerous cases of dogs hurting children/babies when unsupervised for a few minutes. Why would anyone even consider taking the risk because as you have said before Dogs are animals not children

giantmutantbroccoli

SugarSpun wrote: »

I'm looking for some advice, please. My brother has a miniature Schnauzer, it's a barking dog and doesn't like people coming into its territory. It's never bitten, but will bark loudly and sometimes growl.

My husband, four-month-old baby and I are visiting my family over Christmas, and we've asked that the dog not be allowed in the room with the baby. The dog has never met a child before.

The problem isn't the dog, per se, so much as my brother and my parents. They seem not to understand my concerns and don't believe that the dog's going to be a problem. I can see my brother, especially, deliberately letting the dog in. The baby's frightened by loud noises, and I'm worried that her crying will spur the dog on to louder barking, which will make her cry louder and ... you get the picture. My husband had a scary encounter with a dog when he was young and ended up with a long-term fear of dogs. We don't want the small one to have the same fear.

Is there any way I can minimise disruption for dog and baby in a way that means we still get to go to their house? And is there any way to quickly calm an upset dog or is the easiest thing just to remove the baby (and ourselves, obviously)?

I don't personally think it's unreasonable to ask that the dog be kept separate from the baby, especially as it doesn't sound particularly well-trained. It depends on how you ask - if someone said to me "Please could you make sure your dogs don't bark at my baby, I don't want to upset her" I wouldn't have a problem with it. The dog is not your responsibility, the baby is.
That said, I don't think the loud noise is something to worry about, and it sounds like it might be a good idea to get baby used to the sound of a dog barking. But then I don't know anything about babies!
If the dog barks at you/baby and you/baby then leave the room you have effectively taught the dog that if he wants people to leave all he has to do is bark at them. Believe me, he will learn this lesson very quickly! If you can arrange it, get them to take the dog out of the room if he barks, then return if/when he calms down and is quiet again. Chances are he wants to be in the room with the people in it, so he should learn that being quiet gets him what he wants.
Trying to get total separation of dog and baby will be more difficult, and have the side-effect of making the dog associate baby-stuff (smells, noises etc) with being ignored. I'd personally go for bribery instead! Take a suitable dog-treat - a rawhide chew if the dog isn't possesive of his things, or some biscuits or something if he is. Give the dog the treat once you're all in the house and the dog is behaving (i.e. once he's stoped being hysterical). It won't make the dog safe around the baby, but it will help him associate baby stuff (and you!) with him getting treats.

I know this is one of those things that everyone knows, but I'll say it anyway - never leave the baby unattended with the dog, even if the dog is incredibly well-trained and the baby incredibly good-natured.

GSXRCarlos

can you take dog and baby for a walk, i mean a whole family walk, where the dog can get used to you all being around?

as others have said, dog on lead but in the same room, and if baby is in a cot or moses basket then all "should" be ok, but you have to introduce the dog to the baby, otherwise it'll feel like it's missing out and probably act up more

Good luck

mrcol1000

GSXRCarlos wrote: »

can you take dog and baby for a walk, i mean a whole family walk, where the dog can get used to you all being around?

as others have said, dog on lead but in the same room, and if baby is in a cot or moses basket then all "should" be ok, but you have to introduce the dog to the baby, otherwise it'll feel like it's missing out and probably act up more

Good luck

But is it really her job to train someone elses dog?

emlou2009

the OP has gone away now

GSXRCarlos

mrcol1000 wrote: »

But is it really her job to train someone elses dog?

i didn't mean just her, when we've done it in the past we've all gone out, and taken push chairs etc so the dog gets the fresh air, and used to the number of people

But i agree, it's not up to the OP.