Visiting a home with a dog - baby in tow

SugarSpun

I'm looking for some advice, please. My brother has a miniature Schnauzer, it's a barking dog and doesn't like people coming into its territory. It's never bitten, but will bark loudly and sometimes growl.

My husband, four-month-old baby and I are visiting my family over Christmas, and we've asked that the dog not be allowed in the room with the baby. The dog has never met a child before.

The problem isn't the dog, per se, so much as my brother and my parents. They seem not to understand my concerns and don't believe that the dog's going to be a problem. I can see my brother, especially, deliberately letting the dog in. The baby's frightened by loud noises, and I'm worried that her crying will spur the dog on to louder barking, which will make her cry louder and ... you get the picture. My husband had a scary encounter with a dog when he was young and ended up with a long-term fear of dogs. We don't want the small one to have the same fear.

Is there any way I can minimise disruption for dog and baby in a way that means we still get to go to their house? And is there any way to quickly calm an upset dog or is the easiest thing just to remove the baby (and ourselves, obviously)?

Raksha

Would the dogs owner consent to the dog being on lead in the room with the baby? Would you be happy with that? Then, if the dog kicks off, it can be removed, but you still have the opportunity for it to learn about being around the baby...

Even if the dog had met a child before, a child is very different to a small baby. They should know the dog well enough to know if it's likely to be reactive to the noises a baby makes - some dogs do react, some don't. The dog is more than likely barking and growling because it's afraid, not because it means to attack. A dog invests a lot of effort and takes a huge risk to it's own life if it attacks, so it would rather use the bark and the growl to warn off something which scares it.

But not allowing your little one to be around dogs, you may inadvertently be perpetuating the fear through the generations.

welshmoneylover

If you are so concerned, why are you going?

Not being nasty or anything but it is the dogs house and the dog lives there. I think it's a bit mean of you to ask the dog be shut out of the room.

You sound fearful of the dog, your partner sounds fearful and you may be transposing your fears onto your little one.

I hope you make friends with the dog, they are great company.

MrsTinks

To best honest - I have a tiny baby and I love dogs - but if the options were taking a baby to visit family that I didn't trust to keep their dog under control and not seeing my family I can honestly tell you that my decision would be amazingly easy... Unless you trust them then don't go! If you DO go then the second they let the dog in to the same room as the baby - pack your bags and leave.
I have no issue with people not being willing to make sure my baby is kept away from their dogs, it's their home and thus their perogative - but it does mean that I simply won't visit...

emlou2009

i can only speak from experience from our IL's dogs, but when they bark it hasnt seemed to upset seth at all, and if so just for a few seconds til the dogs are quiet. they have 4 and they all bark together in a big pack when they do. the best thing i can suggest is to not make a big deal of it to molly, if the dog barks try not to show molly that you are worried about her not liking the noise, IYSWIM. as for the dog, if it does bark uncontrollably, get it outside to the garden if possible, or keep some treats handy - it cant bark and eat treats at the same time! not ideal for a long term solution, but just for a couple of days would probably be ok. although this could then teach the dog that if it barks it gets a treat, but then its the owners own fault for not controlling the dog and leaving it outside

one thing i will say though, and dont shoot me for this is that if the dog is more likely to be excitable and jealous of molly if its kept away. is it really not an option for you to let it in the room at all? i've found that dogs get bored of the presence of babies very quickly if allowed to mingle a bit.

i should point out that i've never owned a dog and am talking from experience as mother, before someone jumps down my throat and tells me what i've said is stupid

Raggs_2

I agree with having a lead on the dog, but also would suggest that the lead is not held (it may be raksha meant this). Otherwise the dog may feel it is being held close to the owner, and thus the owner is scared and needs defending.

Very tricky situation, and one that I am loath to really reply on, due to obvious possibilities.

Obviously keep the baby close, allow the dog to smell, if it chooses to. The moment one or the other makes a lot of noise, remove one or the other.

Do it all calmly, else the dog may feel that it is being punished, and dislike the fact the baby can get it kicked out, or excited and pleased that it's chasing the pink thing away. Make sure there are favourite toys/treats on hand for the dog to be distracted and removed with.

Again on the emphasis on calmly react, as suggested the dog could easily be fearful, and to suddenly and forcefully act in these situations can make things worse.

emlou2009

welshmoneylover wrote: »

If you are so concerned, why are you going?

Not being nasty or anything but it is the dogs house and the dog lives there. I think it's a bit mean of you to ask the dog be shut out of the room.

You sound fearful of the dog, your partner sounds fearful and you may be transposing your fears onto your little one.

I hope you make friends with the dog, they are great company.

thats a bit harsh IMO, she cant be expected to not see her family because she is worried about a dog?

smileypigface

If you are fearful of the dog then your baby will quickly pick up on your unease, so, as has been said above, you run the danger of passing on fear to your baby.

Also, as said above, if you don't trust your family to understand your point of view and think they might go ahead and let the dog into the room then change the arrangements so they visit you, without the dog, instead.

I took my 5 month old to visit a friend with a long haired GSD - I was happy for the dog to be near the baby but wouldn't let my baby reach out and grab the dog ... my friend took great delight, when she held the baby while I put my coat on at the end of the visit, to immediately hold my daughter out and let her grab two great handfuls of dog fur and pull (which of course I knew she would do). The dog was most unimpressed, as was I - needless to say we didn't visit their home again and they are now people we no longer have on our friends list!

Good luck sorting out a solution for you x

welshmoneylover

I did say I wasn't trying to be nasty or anything!!! !!!!!! :rolleyes:

SugarSpun

I've agonised about going because TBH I'd really rather not but not going would cause a massive family rift and I do trust my parents to keep the baby's safety in mind. I'm not fearful of the dog, but I am fearful for the baby in case the dog jumps at her and scratches her or frightens her.

The lead is a good idea, I hadn't thought of that. It seems a good compromise - the dog is normally shut out of the room when there are guests because he tends to be so loud that conversation is impossible, but over a longer period it does seem unfair.

MrsT, I've already told them that if the dog is allowed to bark at the small one rather than just bark in general we'll be leaving immediately. We discussed not going but that caused upset too. I'm looking for a compromise rather than for either side to have free reign.

emlou2009

i didnt say you were being nasty, but i think its a bit harsh to say "why are you going" and say it is mean to shut the dog out. i think the trouble with asking this question on the pet board is that as dog lovers you are a bit blinkered, and dont really understand the OP's worries as you cant see what she is worried about, so instead of answering the OP's questions its been jumped on that she clearly isnt a fan of dogs.