I feel so lonely.........

barber1982

Heres my story...

Jay-Jay_4

Oh chick, you sound really fed up

I'm glad you've posted this as you've made your first step to changing your life for the better.

I've got to go on the school run now but I'll come back later and see how you are. I'm sure you'll have lots of helpful replies by then.

Take care and chin up x x x

CheekyLittleMonkey

Aww hun - firstly, please accept a big hug from me, and be safe in the knowledge that you are not alone, there are plenty of beautiful people on here whom you will soon learn you have friends.

If you don't mind me saying, he seems very selfish. He's having his cake and eating it too, why wouldn't he be happy. Look, you are playing the doting wife already and you are not getting any thanks for it. You need to think long and hard about getting married. I am 34 (female) I've been there and done that and been in exactly the same situation. Please don't let this happen to yourself. :A

PM me and we can discuss further. Don't like much talking of my own personal experiences for all to see. Take care. xxxxx

rchddap1

barber1982 wrote:

i want for nothing except friendship and sometimes love..

This line really stood out for me. Personally the relationship with my partner is all about friendship and love. He is my lover, my guide and my best friend all rolled into one. Having a relationship and potentially marriage isn't about the 'material' things....its about those things that you can't put a value on. Namely the friendship and love that you say you are lacking.

I enjoy doing things for him, and he enjoys doing things for me. These days he brings me breakfast, he also gets home before me and so cooks our dinner. Don't get me wrong we don't live in each other's pockets and we do spend some personal time apart, but its very important to spend some time together....and for both people to want to do that.

For example, if he went round to his mother's for dinner he'd want me to go along with him too, unless I had something else on my mind, or wasn't that interested.

It doesn't seem to me as if you are spending much time together as a couple. And he doesn't seem (from your post) to be that bothered about what you do or where you go etc.... He does his own thing.....you are left at home 'keeping house'.....and he turns up when and if he feels like it for a good night's sleep. Does he want a partner or a housekeeper?

Sorry if I'm being a bit blunt here, but you need to really think whether this person can give you what you need. You may love him to bits, but if he doesn't really love you.....

coraastbury

:grouphug: Just to let you know that you are not alone, we are all here and sometimes it feels better to talk to other people about things.

I too feel alone in my marriage at the moment, but dh and I are trying to work things out since I told him how I felt and he didn't realise that he was making me feel like this.

You need to sit your partner down and explain to him what you want from life. I do think that he is playing the single life and having you there for whenever he wants you.

Hope you sort things out and remember you can always talk to people on here.

Cora

barber1982

Thanks to everyone i wasnt going to post my message always chicken out. I havent realised how miserable i have been feeling till i wrote it down. Tears are wellling up. I will try and talk to him i know he loves me i just dont think he realises what he is doing..

Philippa36

I would show him your post. I did the same thing today, its not until you read back what you have typed sometimes that you realise how much of a problem it is for you.

Good luck, I hope you manage to resolve all your issues. :grouphug:

You can always join the thread further down regarding finding new friends, theres a large crowd that are all very friendly.

Finding Friends

Angel777

Hi Barber1982, i just wanted to say well done for posting this, its difficult to take the first step.
You must realise that you can not go on like this, i was in a kind of similar position at 24 and 3 years down the line realised that i didnt do what i had wanted to at that age. Pm me and i can go into more detail.
Life is so short and you really need to talk to him as he may not even realise just how badly this is effecting you.
Be comforted in the fact that things can change for the better.
When you talk to him do it with NO alcohol, try not to get into an argument and think about what you want to say before and talk to him calmly about how you feel, how he can help and what you think will happen if things dont change.
I do hope that by doing this(posting this) You can make a change for the better.
I hope this helps.
Take care.

Scarlett1

Barber good luck for talking to your b/f, if afterwards he continues to still do what he likes and treat you like a maid, I would seriously consider ending the relationship and move on (((hugs))).

Jet

Hi,

I was in a very similar relationship and it took me a long time to get out.

I think your partner is just running away from something and / or trying to control you by making you feel inadequate or unwanted.

The first step for me was to believe that my needs were just as important as his. It doesn't matter if earns more, is more intelligent, is more confident, has an interesting hobby etc. etc., you have just as much right to get your needs met as he does. If your needs are to be loved and have some time with your partner then why aren't you getting that?

Talk to him. Hopefully he will understand. If not, don't give up posting on here for moral support whatever your decision. You can PM me too anytime.

Dora_the_Explorer_5

You sound very down in the dumps, I'm so sorry. Sometimes when we go through low patches it's hard to get interested in anything, and then we're not very interesting for other people. You and he spend very little time doing couple things - if this is something that's happened gradually, can you remember how it started? If you're not eating together, and another woman is doing his washing and ironing - how does he see you? As a partner, or someone he happens to share accommodation with?
Would it help to sit down quietly with him and negotiate some time spent together doing things together, perhaps something neither of you have done before? A wise man once said "The currency of love is time", do you think you are both giving each other enough? Best wishes.