We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.

This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.

📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!

My new job - Problems with Boss

1356

Comments

  • ckerrd
    ckerrd Posts: 2,641 Forumite
    doobiesis wrote: »
    No I haven't people know what she's like and a lot of them even from diff depts have told me that if I do things her way I'll be fine! That's no way to manage an office!

    Do you not wish to improve the situation?

    Read the policy and decide whether or not to complain.

    No point in stating a grievance at an exit interview - too late by then
    We all evolve - get on with it
  • floss2
    floss2 Posts: 8,030 Forumite
    Clark80 wrote: »
    To add I would send a quick e-mail that says something like: Hi, I know you are very busy hence my e-mail. Loving the job but could do with some training on a few things like x, y , z etc.

    This will then become a document you can bring out in any meeting that may take place be it a grievance raised by you or be it a performance meeting raised by your boss. This document will show that you asked for help.

    I second this - also, you need to write everything she tells you down when she trains you, to make step-by-step notes....then when you follow those and do it wrong, you can say "well that is how you said when you showed me on xxth of month, look, I wrote it down..."
  • floss2
    floss2 Posts: 8,030 Forumite
    BTW, maybe nobody in the organisation has picked up on the fact that SHE needs help with her ways of training & supporting new employees? She may just be a carp manager - but good at her proper job? (says one who knows from experience of being a carp manager and no longer looks for that responsibility!)
  • pineapple
    pineapple Posts: 6,934 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I've done a lot of jobs and there are an awful lot of bad bosses around. That's just life. Unfortunately bullying can be very subtle and you may have to take on the employing organisation as well, because it can highlight their own incompetence.
    Sometimes these people just have no idea how to manage, sometimes it's because they feel inadequate or maybe something is going off in their private life.
    Leaving the odd difficult situation at will wasn't an option for me as we needed the money. I'm glad in a way as it taught me some resilience.
    Yes keep notes as others have said but also rather than ask how to do something, ask their 'advice' on how to do something or ask how they want you to do it. There is a world of difference in how it will be perceived. Good luck!
  • DVardysShadow
    DVardysShadow Posts: 18,949 Forumite
    doobiesis wrote: »
    Thanks for your advice all of you, it's been very well received, and now I've stopped crying (what a wuss) I think I'll ask her tomorrow for more training on invoicing and what I need to be adding and taking VAT away from, as it was not made clear to me!
    :o
    doobiesis wrote: »
    ... people know what she's like and a lot of them even from diff depts have told me that if I do things her way I'll be fine! That's no way to manage an office!

    OK, I am taking this as a tacit admission that you may not be doing it right. I don't generally like the term 'personality clash' because it generally tends to be a catchall phrase which covers up more than it reveals. In this case, I suspect she has a mathematical right or wrong outlook and you have a more touchy feely conciliatory approach.

    Now, if you are doing invoices, touchy feely does not quite cut it for your primary tasks and as others say she is off your back if you do it her way, I suggest that you set about being cold and mathematical about your primary tasks. You set about being as cold, clinical and correct as the Borg. And I also suggest that you don't wait to be told how to do something, you ask, you put the questions in her direction. Of course I don't suggest you put aside the touchy feely side of you personality outside the primary task

    I also suggest that when you hit up against an issue, you try and deal with it in general terms of principle rather than the specific terms of that particular invoice - if I am right about her personality, she will feel much happier to talk towards the abstract generalisations, the rules of the system, rather than towards applying those rules in individual cases.

    She may be irredeemable, but she is probably in her job for a reason. And it may be if you can bend your way of thinking towards hers, she will actually value you for being able to do that and also have the touchy feely side.

    I am not certain of this advice, but my gut feel is that the more you can adapt to her way of thinking, the easier it will get and you should give it a couple of months to see the tensions dissolve hopefully
    Hi, we’ve had to remove your signature. If you’re not sure why please read the forum rules or email the forum team if you’re still unsure - MSE ForumTeam
  • I really feel for you.

    3 years ago I was in a job with an absolute c*** for a boss. She made me feel so inadequent and stupid, I frequently went home in a flood of tears.

    If I asked for her help (or how to do something) she'd bark 'Go away' or 'I'm busy' or she'd just shoo me with her hand. If I tried to e-mail her instead she'd either not reply or she'd reply saying 'Stop sending me all these e-mails.' But then if something wasn't done to her exact standards I'd get a bollocking and 'Why didn't you come to me?'

    She'd wait until we had clients waiting in the reception area and then she'd come and shout/humiliate me in front of them about something that wasn't even to do with me. After she'd walk off some of them would come up to me and say they couldn't believe she'd done that.

    It was all power and authority to her, she thrived on it. She made my life absolute hell, but unfortunately she owned the company so it wasn't as though she had a boss or there was a HR department to complain to or anything. I ended up walking out.

    Have you spoken to the girl who trained with you? Is she having the same problems? Write down everything that happens with your boss. Perhaps you could speak to someone in HR (or send them an e-mail) and ask whether it would be possible to have a days training with someone as your boss didn't really have the time to train you when you started and you'd like to get on top of things and be more efficient.

    Good Luck.
  • Zazen999
    Zazen999 Posts: 6,183 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Unfortunately, people like the OP's boss - esp if they are in the accounts dept - are rarely let go due to bad people management, as they bring the money in. If it is done wrong, there are other implications such as unhappy clients and nobody can afford to lose clients at the moment, which just makes the situation worse...as stress just magnifies the problem and behaviour.
  • Aww you poor thing. It sounds like you're currently in a rather horrible and stressful situation. Unfortunately there are just some plain nasty people in this World, your boss may be good at her actual job but as far as people skills are concerned - she's severely lacking. Just try to remind yourself that it's not personal to you, she's bound to be like this with all her staff.

    You're not a mind reader, if you haven't been fully trained on how to use a system etc then it's down to your boss to provide adequate training - not shout at you. All you can do is ask for the training, if she doesn't then arrange something she can't blame you for not knowing how to do things.

    I think the suggestions so far have been good, keep a record of everything that happens (especially if you'd deem it as bullying) and if the situation fails to improve speak to your HR Manager.

    If you're leaving work of an evening and bursting into tears, something's definitely not right and it needs changing. No job is worth that hassle, but I'd advise you to give it a couple of more weeks before deciding on whether you can't hack it anymore.
  • MuckyDucky wrote: »
    Aww you poor thing. It sounds like you're currently in a rather horrible and stressful situation. Unfortunately there are just some plain nasty people in this World, your boss may be good at her actual job but as far as people skills are concerned - she's severely lacking. Just try to remind yourself that it's not personal to you, she's bound to be like this with all her staff.

    You're not a mind reader, if you haven't been fully trained on how to use a system etc then it's down to your boss to provide adequate training - not shout at you. All you can do is ask for the training, if she doesn't then arrange something she can't blame you for not knowing how to do things.

    I think the suggestions so far have been good, keep a record of everything that happens (especially if you'd deem it as bullying) and if the situation fails to improve speak to your HR Manager.

    If you're leaving work of an evening and bursting into tears, something's definitely not right and it needs changing. No job is worth that hassle, but I'd advise you to give it a couple of more weeks before deciding on whether you can't hack it anymore.

    Thanks for this post it really was nice to read and made me feel a bit better, the good thing is, she's like it with everyone I was focusing on it being personal, but i can see it's not. Thanks for all the posts. :D
    :DBank Charges won £4,800 in 2006 From LloydsTSB:D


  • You shouldn't have to put up with that. I would pull your boss aside and explain the situation to her. It's not wise to break the chain of command. If you talk to you boss and it continues, then go to her boss.
This discussion has been closed.
Meet your Ambassadors

🚀 Getting Started

Hi new member!

Our Getting Started Guide will help you get the most out of the Forum

Categories

  • All Categories
  • 352.1K Banking & Borrowing
  • 253.5K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
  • 454.2K Spending & Discounts
  • 245.1K Work, Benefits & Business
  • 600.7K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
  • 177.5K Life & Family
  • 258.9K Travel & Transport
  • 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
  • 16.2K Discuss & Feedback
  • 37.6K Read-Only Boards

Is this how you want to be seen?

We see you are using a default avatar. It takes only a few seconds to pick a picture.