Going from 1 toddler to plus newborn any advice?

BitterAndTwisted

Fantastic advice offered so far. The only things I would add as suggestions are: to try and refer to the new baby now and when it arrives as "your new baby" when talking about it to the toddler. Toddlers love to think of themselves as "big" or getting bigger, so any time the child does something you approve of use that adjective when voicing your approval. Also, please remember to never, ever leave the baby on its own with the toddler in the same room, even for a moment. Take the toddler with you if they're not both directly in your line of sight. Littlies can get very curious and have little understanding of the consequences of their actions.

My younger sister and I are only 15 months apart in age and I allegedly tried to drown her when my father left us both alone together in the bath. She was completely submerged and apparently I was just sitting watching when he came back moments later. Apart from the attempted manslaughter we were always very close and were stuck together like glue until we were in our mid to late-teens. She's now my best friend in the whole world and I totally adore her so I think she's forgiven me.

fernliebee

Bitter and twisted- I have heard a few stories of toddlers trying to feed babies things like chocolate cake and nearly suffocating them. Toddlers were only being caring and kind but as you say didn't realise the consequences of their actions.

nikkit72

i had 3 under 3 at one time , 12 months between my 2 boys and 15 months between son2 and dd, it was hard , yer im not going to lie , but it was lovely , always involve the toddler with what you are doing , dont ignore the toddler , get into routines , its hard for first few days / weeks but if you start as you eman to go on its the best ,

When i had my 3rd my eldest was 2yrs 3 months , my middle one was 1yr 3 months , i never had a double buggy with any of my babies , they were all good walkers , i jsut had a buggy board if they did get tired , my eldest was just starting play group a cpl months after i had my youngest , and i got into a routine between the birth and when he was due to start , and by the time he started , i was up , fed all 3 , dressed all 3, walked to playschool all by 9am , some mothers couldnt understand how i did it , but like i said when you have well behaved kids they help each other , getting into that routine it was bliss , and i enjoye every minute of it ,

I am now expecting my 4th baby due in 9 weeks , yes i have a big gap 12 yrs my youngest is now , but cant wait for it to start all again

Have fun , dont worry and take each day as it comes ,

If you would like to join us pregnant ladies on the pregnacy thread we dont bite , just say hi and let us know your due date , we are very friendly and chatty come over to us HERE

andrealm

We had just over 2 years between our 2 DDs and I was worried about how I would cope with 2 but on the whole it was easier than I expected, I won't say easy, but far easier than after I had my first. I had PND after my first but not the second time. We were lucky that DD1 took very well to her little sister, there was no jealousy and they are great friends now (they are 3.5 and 18 months now) They have their moments of course but who doesn't.

DD1 liked helping by handing me nappies and things like that, we planned to get her a present from the new baby but never got round to it. We read some books to prepare her for the new arrival, "There's a house inside my mummy" and "My new baby"

It was a lot easier to get out of the house second time around, we were back at toddler groups within a week of DD2 being born. It helps if you can keep the toddler in their usual routine as much as possible. Also you are a bit more relaxed the second time and you know what you're doing, with my first I didn't have a clue.

Agutka

Thank you for this thread. J is going to be 2.5 when the new one comes and I don't want him feeling left out. At the moment he has no clue what's happening, but he will be such an older lad by May... Only his older cousin is jealous - he thinks J will no longer want to play with him when he has a new sibling... hmmm, a fun five year old or a newborn... I know which one I'd rather play with!

Keep coming with your sagely advice :T

jimjams_mommy

Agree with the advice about leaving them alone, toddler & newborn ) I was the youngest of five, the older ones only had a year gap I was the last child and was 2 years young than the youngest. Have been told the time when all my siblings tried to tip me out of the pram when my mom left me outside the butchers ( years ago when you could leave the pram outside shops ) when I was crying!!!
My auntie came round with a basket and put me in it and said she was bringing me Back to the hospital as they were to naughty to have a baby sister!:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: she went to leave and my mom said they were all sobbing and promised to be good. That is until I got older and the little !!!!!!s told me I was found on the doorstep and was kept because we couldn't have a puppy in the house :eek: and they used to lock me in the coal bunker!!!! lol :rotfl:kids!!

thanks for all the usefull advice DS will be going to pre-school one day a week and may try to increase it to 2 mornings untill his free place kicks in the term after he turns 3 ~( depends on if we can afford it )

keep posting advice all welcome.
p.s i do get on with my sibblings now, payback was getting very loud toys for their children lol lol:rotfl:

jimjams_mommy

just when I thought Ds had cracked going to the loo for a wee on his own, he wee's all over the floor and says his a baby!!!!!:eek:

please don't say its a reaction to the pregnancy, he has been so good! he even said he knew it was naughty!!! and called me to show me while he was laughing.

went stright to the naughty step and sat there talking to him self saying not to wee on the floor!!! hope its just a one off.

Mrs_Moc

My daughter is now almost 6 months and has only 18 months between her and her brother. I have 4 in total but the other 2 are older.

I totally second the advice of not leaving them alone together for even a second. Her brother has given her a couple of playful slaps and once tried to eat her toes. ( My own fault as he seen me nibbling on them :rotfl:)

I was really worried how I would cope, with them both and a school run, and alone. I must admit it can be hard, but you get in a routine.

I throw just anything on them in the morning and then dress them properly once home. My daughter doesn't get as many baths as her brother did as a baby either, im a big fan of the cotton wool and top & tailing.

I did BF though, and sometimes the toddler was scaling the curtains or climbing on the TV, I just repeatedly put the baby down as he did alot of things for attention while I was BF. But I coped well in retrospect.

The main stressful time was going grocery shopping with them all. Then I learnt to get the baby minded as it wasnt worth walking round a supermarket with a squealing baby, an escaping toddler and 2 children who asked for everything the looked at!

I know in my case though it wasn't as bad as I was expecting.

Also DS had no animosity towards the baby at all, he barely looked at her for the first few weeks, and when he came to the hospital for the first time I was BF her, he was more interested in the box of chocs I had on my table.

jimjams_mommy

chocs sound good, DS is still say he wants a milkeyway off the baby as a present. we went for a scan today for 33 weeks and the baby is measureing 5lb4oz. He likes going to the hospital as he has a milkeyway bar on the way out.

Has anyone an idea on the gift to buy a new big brother from a new baby sibbling? when they first visit in hospital.

ab7167

Hi, I am in almost the same situation - next baby due 22/02, when DD will be 26 months. Was out buying christmas presents for her today, and was eyeing possible presents 'from' the baby. Looks like we are going to go for a Thomas Tank Engine train set, as she is mad for him at the moment. That and anything related to sharks...

This is an excellent thread - I have also bought OH a slow cooker for christmas (last of the true romantics me) so we can get into the habit of doing meals as and when we have time kids are relaxed and happy.

Have so much to worry about at the moment apart from baby coming that it hasn't really sunk in that I will have another one in 9 weeks... but lovely to consider what is going to happen - I have decided not to go for a double buggy, but opted to use baby bjorn from no.1 with no.2 in buggy if needed - she is not a bad walker, but if we are out and she decides she is not going to walk, that IS that - if I didn't have a buggy we would be pretty stuck. I also have a backpack, so can carry no.2 until it is 2 (we don't know sex yet), by which time no.1 WILL be walking everywhere! But like someone else on here, I have chosen a double one so if I need it, I can just go and get it rather than adding another thing to the list of things to worry about.:rolleyes:

And as for shopping - Sainsbury's home delivery has done us proud during this pregnancy and will be continued afterwards - I have pretty bad SPD and can't push a trolley (and shouldn't really be pushing a buggy, but needs must - trolley is less essential). Have to say it costs £5 for the delivery, but we can usually save at least that by eliminating the impulse buys and using mysupermarket.com to get the best deals on everything. Just another routine on Thursday evenings for delivery first thing Monday morning in our house.