Realisation has just hit. Don't know where to begin.

moozie_2

Hello wotnext

Welcome to the forum, hope you find it helpful.

I think you have been given the best advice already. Call CCCS or the national debtline as soon as possible. They are well equiped to help you at this point in time.

I noted you said you want to work and that you want to be a childminder. It's a pity that the Council will not allow you to work in your TA but perhaps you can seek alternative employement in the mean time. Something to start bringing additional income while you are getting sorted financially which may help your OH feel more supported with providing for the whole family.

Best of luck and please keep posting xx

southernscouser

Hey wotnext and welcome to MSE!

Today is the day that your life changes for the better. I promise you that by tonight you will be feeling a whole lot better. As suggested post your SOA. Toto provided the link for a guide. Then we do our thing!

Another webiste to look at is here. Just check you are getting everything you are entitled to. It is pretty accurate by all accounts.

Also if you have had any bank charges for failed direct debits or going over your limits in the last 6 years you can also claim these back. However I think you should get your head around all this lot first as it is a lot to take in and I appreciate how you must be feeling right now. We've all been there and there are loads who have made it to the other side and loads of us who are getting there!

Good luck

SS

wotnext

Monthly Incomings:

My salary - 0
Partners salary - £1,339
Child Tax Credit & Child Benefit - £398

Total - £1,737

Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage/Rent - £350
Council Tax - £142
Gas - £40
Electric - £65
TV License - £15.12
Telewest - £75.00 (includes tv, phone and pooter)
Food - £500
Car Insurance - £31.04
Petrol - £30
Water - £32.51
AA - £20
Travel - £80

There are at least 3 companies (catalogues) to whom I negotiated £1 payments last year. There is also a CCJ. On advice of the solicitor, I submitted a form and got the payment reduced from £12pm to £4pm.

= £5.00

Total: £1,385.83

My husband:
Overdraft with current bank (balance of which is unknown to me at this moment. I will get this info later and post here)
£10000 loan with his current bank which, I think, is in arrears (info later)
Outstanding overdraft with First Direct (info later)
Outstanding overdraft with Natwest (info later)

Total outgoings:

(This does not include annual school maintenance fees, road tax, service etc). Should I include this somewhere?:huh:

There were arrears with the electricity and last year I negotiated £65 payment p/m. However, my husband has not kept to the agreed repayments and they are now threatening to enter the property and fit a key meter. We can't allow this as this is not our home but belongs to a private landlord, whom the council rent from. I don't quite know what to do.

I have no idea at this present moment what is in arrears and what isn't and whether we are paying charges etc.

Sorry it's not terribly helpful at the moment. I'm just clawing my way through it all. I'm sure with a bit of sifting and a chat with the OH tonight, I am bound to find lots more that I haven't included. I just need to feel like I am taking a positive step. I've had a good cry now, and that helps.

BTW - thanks lynzpower for the advice. I will contact Shelter and see if they can help us or advise how best to move forward.

southernscouser

Well the first thing that jumps out at me is your £500 food bill. How many are there in your household. I'm sure people on here feed a family of 5 for £200 a month. Good food as well. Pop over to the oldstyle board and they wil help you no end.

piratess

Hi Wotnot and welcome onboard Im new here also but ... with three children are you getting enough tax credits ? .... i have three kids and get more than that a month ... maybe worth checking xx

stick with it xx hugs

moozie_2

Let me see...

wotnext wrote:

Monthly Incomings:

My salary - 0
Partners salary - £1,339
Child Tax Credit & Child Benefit - £398

Total - £1,737

Monthly Outgoings:

Mortgage/Rent - £350
Council Tax - £142
Gas - £40 This is very high, does it include arrears payments?
Electric - £65
TV License - £15.12
Telewest - £75.00 (includes tv, phone and pooter) This has to go. There are broadband providers that cost £15 a month. Look into it for your area. Use alternative phone provider and take a look http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/cgi-bin/viewnews.cgi?newsid1095003038,99872,
Food - £500 Very high. Check out the old style board for help/ideas.
Car Insurance - £31.04
Petrol - £30
Water - £32.51 Is this on a meter?
AA - £20
Travel - £80 What does this cover?

You have made an excellent start. Just add the rest of the information when you have it. It's important to have the full picture before you make any major decisions. You are doing well :grouphug:

wotnext

Sorry, I should have put at the bottom that these figures could change. I really need to sit my husband down and get to the bottom of it all. I'm going by what it should be, but there are probably arrears etc which means they are probably more.

PS: Food bill may seem high but that isn't just based on food. I probably should have called it 'housekeeping' or something similar. It includes things like nappies and wipes etc. Even shops own brands work out expensive over time.:( Oh, and school trips (the school have asked me for another £15 this week). *sigh* I try and get the main bulk of shopping done for £85 a week and shop around to get the best 2 for 1 offers. I luuurve 2 for 1 offers! The rest goes on the above and then things like milk and bread over the week as and when it's required. The kids don't get named brands foods. For example, if they want cheese in their lunchboxes, they get a lump cut off of cheap value Tescos own, not that awful Cheesestring or Dairylea muck, and I try and make cheap meals, like pasta bake, that costs next to nothing. I will certainly have a look around the boards though for some more cheap ideas.

And it hasn't helped that the washing machine broke down this month and we had to pay out for the laundrette (£4 a wash - I was shocked!) until we got it fixed, which cost £65.:mad:

It would also include clothes that the kids need. I try and buy most of the stuff second hand off ebay, or in Tescos if it's cheap enough. My husband has 2 pairs of shorts which are stained but we can't afford to buy any more, and I have 4 different outfits to wear for the summer and can't afford any more. I feel sorry for him. He works hard, yet gains no satisfaction. He walked around in a pair of trainers with a huge hole in for months until he finally bought a cheap pair a month ago. I suppose he feels totally demoralised. He can't support his family and he sees nothing of his income.

I wish we could get to a stage where we are paying off our debts, but have enough to live properly, clothe ourselves and not be frightened of the phone ringing, the door knocking or an unexpected bill cropping up.

moozie_2

I am sure you will get there. This is just the start of your new life.

According to my adding up, you have

income £1,737
outgoings £1,380.67 roughly, excluding debt repayment

remainder 356.33 to throw at debts.

I know your SOA doesn't include things like presents/car maintenance/dentist etc etc but once you get to the bottom of what that £500 covers, then it will be easier to see where your money really goes.

I think a spending diary has already been suggested. I found it invaluable and it helped me so much to plan better. On the face of it, it looks like you could manage better if you planned more.

MrsTinks

Deep breath and relax

Ok you're amongst friends and above is a LOT of good advise
You don't own a house which might be a good thing... This may be a tad contraversial BUT have you thought about declaring bankrupcy? It is and should be a last resort and I am purely suggesting this because you are concerned for your partners health and wellbeing! Contact CCCS and speak to them, ask them about bankrupcy and talk to others here about their own experiences with bankrupcy and see if it's a possibility for you. Yes your credit rating with be shot to pieces but the pressure of the debts will be gone and you can start looking forward instead of back.

For now go to the OS board and let everyone there help you with the food and cleaning Trust me you can save a LOAD

Chin up hun, which ever way you choose to go then we will be here to offer support and help you in every way we can

Bestthingsinlifearefree

Hi wotnext,

Welcome to MSE.

Give your hubby a big hug and say to him together you are going to get through this as one team and go forward.

Take it step by step.

Keep posting and be as positive as possible.

I wish you well.